


Memento Mori

by Felixuta



Category: Junjou Romantica, Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: AND REVIEW, AU, An struggles to make Ritsu's life a little more bearable, And knives, Dark Themed, F/M, HOLY SHIT THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG, He's da martyr guys, Lots of Angst, M/M, Misaki is fighting to keep his loved ones safe, Ritsu leaves Masamune under pretty shady circumstances, Ritsu loves riddles, Some Fluff, Takahiro loses his shit, Usagi is a dork, Usagi uses his connections to get Misaki back to a normal environment, Usagi-chichi and Onodera-papa come to the rescue!, a lot of suffering, and blood, angry and desperate sex later in the plot, assassin!Misaki, bro feels feat Usami Haruhiko, hacker!Ritsu, love u, okay enjoy, the semes will cry, the ukes will cry, thx, you will cry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-06-01 21:11:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 54,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6536461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felixuta/pseuds/Felixuta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At first glance, Misaki is an ordinary 22 years old guy. But few know that 6 years ago Misaki was a professional assassin under the secret military organization Phantom. Being fed up with guilt, he called quits and ran away. Phantom is after him once again and he can't afford to have anyone of his loved ones hurt. Therefore, Misaki is forced to cover himself again in endless red. AU, assassin!Misaki and hacker!Ritsu</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Treasure Hunt

**Chapter 1**

_“Your past is always your past. Even if you forget it, it remembers you.” ― Sarah Dessen_

* * *

 

**Treasure Hunt**

_What is a dream job? Is it something you love doing with every fiber of your entire being? Is it something that makes you famous and influential? Is it something that literally makes you swim in a pool of money? Or is it something that by doing it makes you feel oddly at peace and content with yourself? I sometimes try to imagine how things would’ve been if I didn’t quit my job some years back. And yet a part of me still burns to forget about it all. The scars. The tattoo. The endless red. Nevertheless, the memories will remain, imprinted somewhere deep inside my brain, just like the ink resting under the skin of my wrist. And these memories I shall carry to my grave as no one deserves to be plagued by the horrors I’ve seen. What I’ve done._

_My dream has always been to be happy. I never wanted anything more than that. But I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what job I should be chasing after as I don’t even know what I want. What I’m good at. It’s not like I’m good at anything that others would call normal. Sure, you’d ask what’s wrong with being unique and having other talents than usual. But you’ve got no idea what I’ve been raised to do as a child nor do you know what my specialties are. Few people do. Not that you’d ever want to find out anyway…and if you ever have the misfortune to find out this secret…You’ll have to do your best to keep it. To lock it in your pocket and send it to the grave. But do you know how such secrets are best kept?_

_Two can keep a secret if one of them is **dead.**_ *

* * *

 

Sweat was running down his nape, his hair sticking to his flushed cheeks as shivers ran down his spine. Harsh huffs escaped rosy lips, his body moving back and forth while his fingers turned white from squeezing the cloth so hard in his hands. Soon, his body started moving faster, and faster, and faster, the young man struggling to the keep embarrassing sounds from escaping his mouth. His eyes widened with excitement and his lips curled in delight as he screamed.

“Oh, thank goodness! It’s out!” Misaki yelled happily, examining the poor carpet for any sign of coffee strains. The back of his hand wiped unceremoniously the sweat drops forming on his face as he grinned at his success, before he squeezed the dirty water from the cleaning cloth into the basin beside him.

“You shouldn’t have bothered. I could’ve simply ordered another one.” A bored Usami Akihiko mumbled. The amethyst eyed man was sitting on the elegant red sofa, with his long legs crossed, his eyes scanning the newspaper for some real, interesting information. It didn’t take long before he let out a bored sigh, tossing the newspaper aside.

“Damn it! Earn your money for your old age!” Misaki huffed under his breath. “Seriously, you can’t never know when your novels will grow unpopular and go bankrupt.” he continued as he lifted and carried the basin to the bathroom, dumping the contents into the toilet.

“Impossible.” Misaki heard the monotone, yet smug answer of the older man from the living room.

“Moron, you’re too confident for your own good.” he spoke louder as he rubbed the liquid soap all over his hands and wrists, before rinsing the foam off. Misaki then gently wiped his hands with the towel hanging near him, purposely avoiding the flesh of his left wrist as if … as if it was tainted with something beyond anybody’s understanding. A sigh escaped his lips, gazing at his reflection, thinking about how much he’s changed these past six years. His eyes suddenly hardened when a flash of black and red crossed his mind. He quickly shook his head a few times before he easily slapped his cheeks, his forest green orbs darkening with resentment.

“Idiot, what are you doing thinking about that now?” his conscience hissed hotly into his head. Misaki was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the soft creak of the door, neither notice the tall shadow creeping above him. The only thing he did was to gasp in surprise when two strong arms wrapped around him. The young man shivered in pleasure at the feel of Akihiko’s hot breath blowing ever so softly against the tender skin of the crook of his neck. Akihiko buried his face into the younger’s skin, sniffing deeply and repeatedly, as if trying to memorize the faint scent of cinnamon of Misaki’s shampoo, the minty aroma of his aftershave and…the scent of Misaki himself. The silver haired man hugged the brunette closer to his chest, while his mind whispered only a word at the odor of the younger man. Home. The green eyed male felt his cheeks burn and his heart slamming furiously against his chest, feeling the familiar sting of embarrassment building up into his being. He started struggling, trying to escape the older man’s advances, and totally ignoring the warmth he felt in his heart at the tender gesture.

“Wh-what are you doing, you old pervert?!” Misaki stuttered, giving Akihiko the chance to see how his lovely red face was turning a shade darker by second. He smiled fondly at the sight, ruffling the lad’s soft locks before planting a loving kiss at the top of his head, causing Misaki to struggle harder.

“I love you,” Akihiko said gently, turning the younger man around before he caged him into his arms and pulled him into a feverish kiss. It was hard to describe it. Misaki’s legs turned to jelly, his hands moving up to the man’s broad shoulders for support. The green eyed boy moaned ever so innocently, giving the older man the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue between those delicious, reddened lips, tracing it lightly over his teeth before it met Misaki’s tongue in a passionate embrace. The younger gasped in surprise when he felt cold hands slipping underneath his white shirt, caressing his skin, sending all the right and wrong sensations down his spine… and between his legs.

”S-stop it!” Misaki forcibly escaped Akihiko’s advances. “It’s in the middle of the day and I’ve got to get to work, remember?!” he yelled with annoyance and embarrassment written all over his flushed face. A flash of hurt crossed Akihiko’s eyes in a second before it disappeared without a trace, but not quick enough for Misaki not to see it.

“H-hey, don’t be like that…” The younger stuttered once again, guilt making its way into his chest. “Look, I promise to spend more time together with you when I’ll come back. A-and I’ll also be cooking marimo, just the way you like it, so wait for me? Misaki finished softly, bending his head down so that his hair covered most of his face.

Akihiko couldn’t help but be surprised by Misaki’s offer. A small smile bloomed into his lips, amused at the sight of the younger’s reddening ears. A cold, big hand made its way up on the brunette’s head, patting and softly ruffling his already messy hair.

“Okay.” Misaki heard his Usagi’s husky voice reply. Raising his head up, the lad gave the man an awkward, yet fond smile, before he broke into a run towards the exit of the huge house.

“Make sure you finish your book today and cut Aikawa-san some slack. God knows when was the last time the poor woman has had a good night’s sleep.” Misaki ranted while he put his jacket on and put his feet into his black boots. “Oh, and please be careful this time with your coffee. Don’t forget that the cups for coffee are in the left shelf, above the dishwasher, alright?” he continued.

“Yes, yes.” Akihiko answered in the same bored manner, lighting his cigarette, before he quickly inhaled the toxic, yet bittersweet smog into his lungs. Misaki threw him an exasperated look, wrapping a bright red scarf around his neck.

*“Ittekimasu!” Misaki announced, cocking his head back at the violet eyed man seated on the sofa with the sacred laptop in his lap and his cigarette hanging seductively from his thin lips.

*“Itterasshai,” Akihiko said softly, gazing adoringly at his lover for as long as Misaki let him before he finally left.

* * *

 

“Alright, so all I need you to do for today is to sort all the shoujo and shounen manga in alphabetical order, also taking into account which are the most popular of them all. You can help yourself by this file here. It contains the ratings of our best mangas this month. So when you are done, you are free to go home. Got it?” the older editor asked.

“Understood! I will do my best!” Misaki said eagerly, feeling how his fingers twitched to get to work. “This is going to be a piece of cake. I do this all the time with Usagi’s books.” Misaki thought to himself, barely keeping his face from looking smug. “That’s the spirit! Now let’s do our best!” the editor cheered, despite his tired expression.

“Hai!”* And so Misaki worked and worked, without noticing how time flew by, the clock showing that it was already time for the lunch break.

“Uhm…sorry for interrupting…,” a voice made itself know. Misaki turned his head curiously towards the figure, his eyes scanning the man, apparently in his late 20s, from head to toe.

“Yes?” Misaki urged the man to go on, taking in his relaxed stature and his almost too happy, smiling face.

“My colleague asked me to pass this to you,” the man said scratching the back of his head, giving a soft laugh. “Well, I have to get going. Good luck with your work!” he waved before he casually left Misaki’s side.

“Ah, yes, thank you!” Misaki thanked hurriedly, just in time, as the man turned once again and gave him a smile, before he walked unrushed out of the office, possibly for a smoke or for lunch. Misaki turned back to his desk, noticing that he was already done with his work. He carefully lifted the block of paper and brought it to the older editor.

“Here, it’s done, just like you said.” Misaki said proudly, gesturing at the huge block of paper facing the stunned editor.

“Oh, wow, I didn’t expect you to finish it so soon ahaha!” the older man laughed embarrassedly, looking slightly apologetic at the green eyed boy. Misaki shook his head, amused at the scene.

”Then I’ll be leaving! Good luck with your work!” he smiled at the man, before turning to head back to his desk.

“Ah, yes, good work today!” Misaki heard the editor say before he reached his desk.

Reaching for the white envelope, Misaki sat down on his chair before he stared suspiciously at it. He felt a pair of eyes burning a hole into the back of his skull, but he refused to turn around.

“If this is some kind of joke, I swear to God…” the boy said subconsciously, before taking a deep breath and opening the envelope. He carefully unfolded the piece of paper, before he started reading the contents. In a matter of seconds, his body went stiff, his eyes widening with shock. His let out a shaky breath.

“This…this is not possible…It’s not possible!” His mind raged, before he quickly turned around to face the owner of the eyes staring at his back a while back. He somehow felt relieved that his sight only met a poster with the newest shoujo manga that was about to be put on sale. Misaki licked his dry lips, before he turned back and read the letter once again. Then his eyes scanned his cellphone for the hour. His eyes went wide once again. 12:13 PM. “Damn it!” Misaki hissed in anger, crushing the letter in his hand before he stuffed it in his jeans’ pocket. He took his jacket and scarf, his legs breaking into a run out of the office, towards the elevator and soon, out of Marukawa Publishing’s building, rushing to the place…The place where it _all_ started.

As he walked hurriedly, Misaki couldn’t help but re-wind the letter in his mind.

_Meet me at the place where you received your first toy. Come to the place where the spilled whine smelled so disgustingly sweet. The place where the violin played once, ever so gravely. Come and meet me when the sun in the center of our sky at the place where it all started. We need to talk. **O.R.**_

Written in refined English, with elegant letters, the sender made sure that no one will be reading without permission.

“To think that I actually missed having these stupid word games with you…” Misaki thought to himself bitterly. If only things were different... If only they met in different circumstances...

In less than 5 minutes, Misaki faced the hilarious logo of a duck, placed above the entrance of a café. **_Smuggling duckling_**. Misaki’s eyes softened as a wave of good and sweet memories washed over his mind.

“Geez, they could’ve picked another name...” Misaki muttered for himself, smiling fondly at the logo, before he went down the stairs, into the underground café. Gathering all the courage he had left, he pushed the wood door open, as the consoling smell of fresh crushed coffee invaded his nostrils, the bell above his head making his arrival acknowledged. The soft, yellowish light from the lamps hanging like falling stars above his head illuminated the café easily, making the room neither too bright, neither too dark. It oddly gave a feeling of safety, of warmth and moreover… of home. The dark wood of the tables, of the chairs, of the counter near the entrance had an elegance of its own, and yet a strange sense of casualty. Misaki stepped hesitantly towards the bar counter, noting that there was someone behind the counter. As his eyes finally focused to the dim light, he noticed the figure of an old man pouring delicious black coffee into a white, porcelain cup.

“Welcome, Misaki-kun,” The old man gave him a wrinkling smile, full of kindness. The man was around his late 60’s, his white hair swept back on his head, his dark eyes analyzing the young man with curiosity.

“I trust you’ve been doing alright these past 6 years?” he asked gently, all aware of the guilty expression of Misaki’s face.

“Yes, Ojii-san*… I’m sorry for leaving all of you behind…” Misaki’s voice broke, as he bent his head in shame. “ _How could they all forgive for my act of selfishness? How could they, after I left them all behind_?” Misaki retorted bitterly in his mind, biting hard into his bottom lip in anxiety.

The old man’s eyes sparkled with affection as he brought his hand to ruffle the green eyed boy’s hair. “Don’t apologize, lad. You only did what was natural when you were given a chance. You still have all your life ahead of you,” the man said, patting his shoulder before squeezing it gently, just like a father would’ve done.

“No one could blame you for that. So don’t blame yourself, lad. God knows you deserve peace after all you’ve been through. Just like that young man over there,” he continued, gesturing to his left.

“Thank you, Ojii-san,” Misaki smiled sadly, before he followed the old man’s hand towards the back of the café only to notice a solitary form standing by the only window of the room, gazing dreamingly outside. Misaki gaped at the sight, shocked beyond reason. The old man chuckled before he patted the young man once again on the shoulder.

“You should go. Here, take this with you. I remember that you like it with milk and sugar, yes?” the man asked softly.

“Ah, yes, arigatou*,” Misaki answered awkwardly before he took his warm cup into his hands.

“Alright. Well, I’ll be in the back should you need me. Good luck, Misaki-kun,” the old man said with a smile before he vanished behind the “Staff only” door.

Misaki made his way through the tables, towards the single table at the back of the dim lighted room. He sat quietly opposite the other person so that he’d be able to look the young man square into the eyes. Emerald met peridot in a bittersweet reunion. The coffee smog from each other’s cups rose in between them before vanishing into thin air. There was only silence. A silence that spoke only of comfort and of understanding. Gazing at each other’s faces, the two young men observed the changes in each other before one of them decided to break the sacred silence.

“I see you are well,” the chestnut hair male said before raising the cup to his lips, tasting the heavenly liquid on his tongue. “I’m glad.” He said setting the cup back down on the table, a small smile breaking on his usually collected face.

“Oh, God…I thought you were dead, damn it!” Misaki hissed angrily in a low voice, his face however, showing only relief at the sight of the other man in front of him. “God, Ritsu, I wept for weeks when I heard you died in a car accident!” he said accusingly.

“Yeah well, it wasn’t like I planned the whole thing like you did.” Ritsu said before he could stop himself. His eyes went wide in shock, cursing under his breath at the stupid thing he just blurted out. Misaki sipped from his coffee slowly, regret and guilt being strongly printed on his features.

“Crap, I’m sorry…” Ritsu muttered. “I didn’t mean to say it like that. I would’ve done the same thing…” he whispered loud enough for Misaki to catch on.

“It’s okay, I understand. Please, continue.”

Ritsu smiled apologetically, before he once again stared outside the window. “The thing is… my birth mother planned on getting the both of us killed when Phantom refused to give her any more money after… you know.” Ritsu said as he fidgeted, obviously not comfortable with the subject. Misaki could only nod in understanding.

“Mother died instantly when she flew through the wind screen. She never wore the seatbelt…” Ritsu said in a daze. “I stood in a coma for 6 months and most doctors said it’s a miracle that my mind wasn’t affected by the drug induced coma…”

Misaki put his hand above his, squeezing in reassurance. “I’m so sorry…I had no idea.” He said sadly. “I only wish I could’ve stayed by your side at that time.”

“You couldn’t have known. Phantom made it clear that I died on spot.” Ritsu said with a sigh, giving Misaki’s hand a small squeeze.

“What…what happened next?” Misaki dared to ask.

“Afterwards… I’ve been taken in by my father. I was quite shocked by his presence because mother said he died when I was little. It seems that she lied about it and that she simply ran away with me, not wanting my father to have anything to do with her precious child, but continuously asking him for money…” Ritsu said mockingly.

“It was really hard at first… but in the end, things worked out, and now I’m really close to my father and my step mother. They really took their time taking care of me. It’s because of them I’m all patched up now.” Ritsu’s smile was faint and tired. Misaki could only stare in astonishment for a good couple of seconds.

“Do-do they know about-“

“About Phantom? They unfortunately do. They did their best to keep me at distance from their claws. Until now.” Ritsu frowned in anger.

“Don’t tell me they came after you…” Misaki muttered, afraid of his answer. Ritsu hesitantly looked into his eyes, noting the sudden change in Misaki’s color.

“That’s exactly what I wanted to talk with you. You need to watch your back, Misaki. Now more than ever…” he started slowly. “You are their last missing piece and they won’t let anything get in their way!” Ritsu whispered urgently, clasping their hand together.

“Please tell me that you have nothing they can use against you! “ He almost pleaded, fear reflecting in his peridot eyes. Misaki’s face drained of color in a matter of seconds, as his hands started shaking.

“Oh God…” he managed to say. “Usagi-san! I need to go after him! He’s all by himself!” Misaki said hurriedly, his voice lifting with each word he said. Fear was eating at his very core. Fear that the lavender eyed man, the man he adored might get caught in this damned business. He quickly got up and put his jacket and scarf on before trying to rush out of the café.

“Misaki, wait!” Ritsu yelled, managing to catch him by his wrist before he took another step forward. “Let me go! Usagi-san is in danger! I _need_ to protect him!” he screamed with rage, and fear, and worry.

“Misaki, I know what you’re going through right now. Trust me I _do_ , I only went through the same shit a few days ago! But you need to calm down!” Ritsu yelled in an attempt to calm his partner in crime. “You won’t be helping him if you’re not being rational… You might do something reckless and he will get hurt if you don’t calm down.” He tried to reason Misaki out of that state.

The younger man shook in fear, as tears welled up in his eyes. “Ritsu, I can’t lose him. I can’t- I can’t lose _anyone_ anymore. I won’t be able to move on again if I lose him.” He chocked out as his lips trembled, trying to hold his tears back. This wasn’t a time for crying.

“Exactly,” Ritsu squeezed his hand firmly, his voice soft and caring. “That’s why I’ve brought you this.” He muttered, while his hand searched for something in the left, inner pocket of his trench coat.

Something slightly heavy and hard replaced the lightness and softness of Ritsu’s hand. Something utterly familiar.A toy. His toy. A toy designed to hurt. A Beretta 92FS. Misaki gazed over the silvery gun. It still fitted his hand like a glove. He felt how it burned to hurt its enemies. Their enemies. Gripping the familiar, sinful object in his hand, he felt how the gun borrowed him its strength and confidence. A look of cold rage replaced the helpless look in his eyes. Hiding the gun inside his jacket, he turned to look one last time at his friend.

“I trust that your loved ones are alright?” Misaki asked quietly. Ritsu only gave him a tight smile.

“For now.” Was his only response. “Good luck, Misaki.” He muttered while his eyes softening at the younger’s determination.

“Likewise… May we meet again, Ritsu.” Misaki raised his right hand towards Ritsu. Ritsu smiled genuinely before catching his hand into a manly grip.

“May we meet again.” He wished, before Misaki turned and left with one last smile.

Taking his seat back near the window, Ritsu could only imagine what could go wrong and what couldn’t. Golden eyes flashed in his mind. Ritsu buried his head in his hands.

“God…What should I do to keep him safe?” he whispered brokenly before he took another sip of his coffee. He stared at the dark liquid in wonder. He should’ve known it had long gone cold.

* * *

 

Misaki ran like a madman in the rain. Panting and shivering he continued his way towards the place he started to call home for some time now.

“ _Please, please…Let him be safe! Please God, I’ll do anything._ ” Misaki prayed and begged in his mind to any God or guardian angels that might have been listening. He bumped into many people. He tripped many times. A car nearly hit him. But he didn’t stop. God forbid he stopped. In a while that felt like an eternity, Misaki finally faced the building in which his lover was supposed to be. With heavy steps, the green eyes boy moved closer to the opening. Sliding soundlessly inside the building, he tiptoed to the door of their home. Facing the hard, white door, Misaki’s hand grabbed the Beretta tightly in his hand, hiding it behind his back. Pushing the door slowly open, he chanted repeatedly the same sentence in his mind, in an attempt to calm his madly beating heart.

“ _When I open this door everything will be the same as before. Everything will as before. Everything will be-_ “ Misaki’s breath hitched in his throat. His body paralyzed. His heart stopped, at the sight of the so very proud man, the man he so cherished, on his knees, nothing more than a bloody mess. 


	2. A mad man's promise

**Chapter 2**

_"The greatest sacrifice is when you sacarifice your own happiness for the sake of someone else."_

* * *

 

**A madman's promise**

 

Wide green eyes met the amused red eyes of a bald man, possibly in his early 60s. Misaki's expression converted into rage as he pointed his gun with a steady hand at him. The man only chuckled in his face.

"Ah, how much you've grown, my sweet Knight!" the man exclaimed in mock-surprise. The lad's eyes narrowed as he scanned the room quickly. The elderly, fat man was seated on the same spot of the red sofa as Akihiko was when Misaki had left earlier that day. The said man was clothed in one of the most expensive and refined costumes he's ever seen. It only added more fuel to his rage when he realized that the man actually served himself with some of the expensive wines Akihiko was saving for special occasions.

Misaki sensed that in the room where six, maybe seven men, all of them well armed. He sensed how all of them had their guns beside their bodies. He knew that for the moment he was out of danger's grasp. Soon, Misaki's eyes moved onto the ash haired man on his knees. His heart hurt at the sight of his bloodied nose and swollen, purple eye. Lavender eyes searched his own in frenzy, as if trying to get answers for why was this happening. Trying to figure who these people were and how truly dangerous they really were. Answers Misaki was afraid of revealing. Shame and guilt crossed his green eyes in a flash, before they darkened when they met the one pointing their gun at his lover's nape.

"Yo, Horus *!" the red haired, muscular man greeted happily. "I see this dude here actually tamed you, eh?" he snorted playfully, before he grabbed Akihiko's hair in a tight grip, forcing his head upwards to meet his amber eyes. "Shall I teach him a lesson, Horus?" he asked in a low voice, his eyes filled with the desire of slaughter.

The powerful and loud sound of a gunshot erupted in the house. The redhead let go of the man's hair immediately, his fingers touching the burning, bleeding cut right under his left eye.

"Touch him one more time and next time you'll need to worry about a missing head, Set*!" Misaki hissed hotly, as smog exited the gun. His body tensed as he now heard how all the guns were pointed at him. A bark of laughter escaped the elder's mouth.

"Excellent! Absolutely magnificent, Knight!" the man clapped as he smiled wickedly. "I knew you wouldn't lose your lovely talents. You should be really proud of the effort your parents put into you." He nodded. "Lower your guns, pets. I will not have our precious piece harmed in any way. Yet." He cooed as his eyes scanned the lad's body.

Misaki held a disguised sound from escaping his lips. He was well aware of what that careful glance meant.

"Don't you dare talk about my parents!" he yelled so loudly he felt his throat straining. "They only taught me how to defend myself! Your right-hand man, on the other side, forced me into this mess!"

"Awww, still as feisty as ever." Set smirked at him. "Boss, can we get this finished yet? I'm fucking starving." The man whined as a child at his parent.

"Everything at the right time, Bishop." the elder let out a bored sigh.

"What do you want, Puppeteer?" Misaki asked coldly, pointing his gun at the old man once more.

"Isn't it obvious, little Knight?" Set mocked as he laughed.

"Be silent!" the Puppeteer raged. "I will not allow any form of disobedience." He yelled with impatience.

Letting out another sigh, the Puppeteer's face broke into another dark smile. "I want you to retake your place as the Knight of Phantom. Don't you miss your playmates and your playground? Don't you miss your toys and all of your hunting sessions?" he asked in fake concern, his red eyes glinting with mischief.

"Screw you and Phantom! I've had enough of it!" Misaki shouted his eyes always checked that no more damage would come to his loved one. Akihiko helplessly tried to figure out what was happening, sadly, without any success.

"Oh, but that's just the problem, Knight! Phantom needs you." He cooed." To think you've succeeded into fooling everybody that you died for six years…haha!" the Puppeteer laughed coldly. "You've been such a naughty, naughty boy, little Knight… This act of disobedience needs to be punished shan't it?" his voice was like acid, his eyes calm like the quietness before the storm.

Misaki didn't dare to make a sound. He knew very well what this man was capable of. In a blink of a second, the bald man slipped his hand into his suit and in a flash he shot blindly at the hostage. Akihiko's breath hitched into his throat, the pain paralyzing his entire left thigh, before he fell like a sack of rocks on the floor. Set grunted in disgust as he moved towards his master, his reflecting a strange hint of pity. Misaki gasped in horror at the scene before his eyes and before he even knew what he was doing, he started running towards the injured man.

A shadow appeared behind him, as a strong arm wrapped around his throat. Letting out a wild and furious howl, Misaki grabbed the man by his arm before twisting it painfully. Satisfaction embraced Misaki when he heard the loud and sickening sound of the now broken arm, as he the masked man cried in pain. The green eyed boy took that as a chance and threw him on the floor brutally, before raising his gun and shooting 3 times in the man's face without any sign of holding back. Glaring ferociously around, he made sure no one would interfere another time. Rushing to his wounded lover's side, Misaki threw off his jacket and ripped a good measure of his shirt, before he bandaged Akihiko's thigh carefully, trying to stop it from bleeding. The silver haired man tried to grab Misaki's hand but he wouldn't let him. The younger's face was turned towards the smirking man of the sofa. His eyes burned with loathing, and hate and moreover… with the insane urge to kill.

"That's the look I wanted to see, pet." The Puppeteer cheered. "Look, I'll offer you a deal."

Misaki gritted his teeth, as he wrapped his arm protectively around the lavender eyed man, preparing himself for the worst. At his silence, the elder smiled before he continued.

"You will return to Phantom within a week's time. You will make sure you will finish all of your business correctly. You will say goodbye to all of your… friends." He gave out a disguised sound. "You will be meeting with the Rook at the set place and time. The Bishop and the Queen* will be picking the two of you up." he said in a bored manner. "Ah, of course, you two will be punished for your insolence. But that was already understandable correct?" The puppeteer cooed. "Expect around five, up to seven men or women a night for an entire week." He muttered darkly, his true colors reflecting in his red eyes.

Akihiko felt how Misaki's body tensed. What the hell was this? What does he mean with that? Why… how was Misaki involved with this people? Whatever the answer would be, Akihiko feared he wouldn't like it one bit.

"Then the two of you will be given two different missions. I reckon your mother taught you high valyrian?" Misaki shakily nodded. "Wonderful! Then everything will go smoothly." the man exclaimed in delight. "In exchange for your services… I will allow the people you've involved yourself with leave and live their pathetic lives unharmed. How does that sound?"

Misaki's head shot up in shock. There was something fishy about this business. He knew… everyone knew that this man never compromised with anyone, no matter their social status. So the mere action of this old man, offering a deal to a modest pawn in this his business was unheard of. In a matter of a second Set's eyes met his and all his doubts were confirmed. Suddenly, Misaki knew he held more power than he initially thought and he decided to take his chances with the sudden idea that illuminated in a corner of his mind.

"I accept."Misaki said softly with shame. How could he refuse when the safety of his loved ones was at stake? The puppeteer smirked at his win, but his smirked quickly dropped at the sight of determined green orbs.

"However, I request one more favor." Misaki spoke slowly, cautiously, his voice never wavering. Akihiko winced in pain when Misaki embraced him tighter, shocked beyond reason at this sight of his lover. A sight he's never seen before. A sight that sent shivers down his spine and not in the good way. His eyes caught a glimpse of the Misaki's lovely green eyes. He didn't like what he saw. The eyes that always held a fat package of warmth, of acceptance, of embarrassment and of kindness were nonexistent. Instead, he witnessed the hard eyes of a soldier, the destructive fire of a wild lion, the coldness and the mercilessness of ice. The fat man wasn't amused one bit. His face darkened as the corners of his lips turned downwards in rage.

"You really don't know where you should draw a line, do you pet?" he hissed lowly. Misaki held his head up proudly, never cowering in fear at the sight of the scary man's manners. The elder shook with rage and as if he spoke telepathically with his men, all guns and *LMGs turned towards him and Akihiko. Sensing the tense air between the two, Set frowned and spoke in a low voice, warning his foolish master.

"Boss…Don't forget the promise you've made to *Sekhmet." Set's face suddenly lost his smile, being replaced by a cold stare and a dangerous glint in his amber eyes. The puppeteer glared at the redhead, before he let out a long and exasperated sigh. "Fine, fine." He mumbled under his breath, highly annoyed, shocking Misaki once again.

"What do you want, little Knight?" Gulping, Misaki held his stare without flinching. "My request is simple." He said steadily, before throwing another glance at his lover.

"Well? I don't have all day!" the elder hissed with annoyance, alongside with Set's grunt of approval. Taking a deep breath, Misaki braced himself for the storm.

"You will grant my family full access to Phantom's parties and free, visiting hours whenever they like. You will grant them full access to the live transmission of every single mission of the pawns." He finished as his hands started shaking. Set's eyes widened his face a look of pure astonishment. "Fuck." Was what he thought at that moment. For a few moments the Puppeteer stared shocked at Misaki before his angry voice boomed in the living room.

"You insolent, stupid brat! You seriously are trying my patience and it is already running out!" he yelled. "To think I'd let scum such as your brother and others, with no money or social status step into my halls, hah! Unheard of!" he hissed, as his face turned red with anger. Set contemplated at the idea. Truthfully, no matter how small, this brother of Horus could sneak in a diversity of goods. Seeing that as an opportunity, Set smirked before speaking up.

"Boss, I don't see what the problem would be. That idiot is too meaningless to ever interfere with our business. Give Horus what he wants. After all… this mission you're going to place upon his shoulders…will make a fortune." He muttered, trying to cool his boss' temper. Silence filled the house. No one dared to make a move or mutter a word, to disturb the elder's racing thoughts. Misaki shut his eyes, praying for a miracle. Green orbs peeled open after a short while, meeting the blazing red of the Puppeteer's.

" _Granted_." He spoke with finality. "However…" the man smirked crudely." I shall add some more… _needy_ …customers to your list. You wouldn't mind, would you?" he cooed as he grinned as horror crossed Misaki's face.

Akihiko watched helplessly how the color from the lightly tanned skin of his lover drained in a matter of seconds. Misaki thought he might just turn green. Set's usual collected face showed a hint of munity and shock at the final sentence.

" _Poor you…Rough nights await you._ " He thought to himself.

Misaki bowed his head in defeat. He knew he couldn't fight against it. He was too meaningless to make a change. No pawn could face Phantom alone. That was a thing his parents died proving. All because of him.

"Perfect! Then, you shall hear from the Queen soon." The red eyed man said smiling happily as he placed his empty glass on the coffee table before he rose on his feet.

"It was a pleasure talking to you, little Knight." He said before stopped in his tracks.

"Ah… And do something about your scars and tattoos. Our customers will believe you are… more innocent than you actually are." He smirked before making his way out of the house, closely followed by his armed men. One masked man stopped ahead of the fresh corpse of Misaki's victim, before slipping his into a large, dark sack, before throwing it over his shoulder and following his boss at his own pace, leaving a pool of blood behind. Set remained last, glancing at the couple.

"Take care… _Misaki_." He whispered before he dashed out of their home, closing the door behind him.

* * *

 

"Will you please tell me what the hell was that all about?!" Akihiko fumed in the passenger's seat of his red sports car as Misaki placed himself on the driver's seat. The lad couldn't make out a word. He was too afraid. He was too ashamed.

"Misaki!" the older man exclaimed. Misaki started the car before he drove into the street. Driving at normal pace, Misaki's eyes were fixed ahead of the road totally ignoring Akihiko's words. Sensing that he will not have his answers anytime soon, the lavender eyed man slumped in his seat in defeat.

"When did you learn how to drive?" He asked tiredly, feeling colder than usual.

"… A close friend of mine taught me when I was 14." Misaki muttered before turning the wheel around, continuing his way to wherever he was driving to.

Akihiko glanced worriedly with the corner of his eyes at the youngster. The legal driving age in Japan was 18. What the hell was Misaki thinking? But… He never knew this. It soon dawned to him that there were plenty of things he had no idea about. He wanted answers. He really did because he hated being left in the dark. Especially with his useless, shot thigh. But he knew Misaki will tell him when he was ready. Well, at least he hoped so. Otherwise just might do something as foolish as asking Takahiro.

"Where are we going?" he decided to ask instead. Misaki threw a glance in his direction, showing him a bit of the turmoil hidden deep inside his lovely green eyes. Turning back on the road, Misaki drew out a long breath.

"To a doctor I trust very much. You didn't expect me to simply leave you like this, did you?" Misaki asked softly, the corners of his lips twitching upwards into a pained smile.

"Hah, I would've crawled after you." The violet eyed man winced in pain when he tried shifting in another position. Misaki went tense, squeezing the wheel tighter.

"Please don't say stupid things like that. You are precious to me." He argued weakly.

The rest of the road was covered in silence. Akihiko noted that they were heading towards the exit of Tokyo, towards the peripheral blocks around the place. Pulling out of the main street, Misaki drove down a cramped alley, before pulled over under the shadow of a willow tree, in front of a modest, house among many others. Getting out of the car, Misaki walked on Akihiko's side, opening the door and helping him hop slowly to the house. It proved tricky climbing the stairs, but in the end they made it to the front door. Pushing the door open, the green eyed lad helped the older man inside, into a small living room, softly lit by the warm fireplace.

The dimly lit house smelt of cinnamon and oranges, with a small tint of cherry flavored smoke. In front of the fireplace, sitting on a worn out armchair, was a woman in her early 50s, smoking quietly from her beautifully designed pipe. Her unruly, curly and slightly whitening dark hair was pulled into a messy bun at the top of her head. The petite and slim woman wore a white blouse and a pair of cotton light blue pants. Her dark, large eyes turned slowly to her guests, not being surprised at the sight in the slightest. Setting her pipe aside on a small coffee table on her right, she raised up before she made her way towards the injured man carefully being placed on a nearby dark brown sofa.

"Chika-san*…" Misaki gazed with a pained face at her. "Please take a look at him for me…" he asked her in a hushed voice.

Chika scanned the tightly bandaged thigh, noting that the ripped material of Misaki's shirt has been darkened by the man's flowing blood. Sighing at the grunting man, she gave out a tired sigh before she smiled gently at the lad, ruffling his hair in a motherly way.

"Go to the kitchen and watch the cinnamon rolls in the oven for me and spin the soup once every 15 minutes, while I take care of this big guy here, alright?" she gave him an affectionate hug. Misaki nodded weakly, before his feet dragged him out of the room. Setting her gaze back to Akihiko, she huffed in annoyance as she massaged her temples.

"Damn that bloody son of a bitch." She swore before slipped out of the room for a short while. Akihiko assumed she was talking about the bastard that shot him. She came back shortly with a large box of medical utensils, bandages, antiseptics, syringes and small vials with clear liquid. Akihiko guessed those were the anesthetics. Slamming the light switch on with her shoulder, the room was filled with a calming and clear white light.

"Would you mind if I asked you to tell me how you've got into this state?" Chika asked, her voice strong and confident, as she unwrapped the bloodied cloth slowly from his thigh. Akihiko grunted in pain at the sudden change of pressure on his wound.

"I don't see why not…Maybe then you could explain some things to me." He responded with a strained voice. The woman hummed with approval as she tossed the bloodied cloth into the box. Cutting the part of the material of his pants that was concealing his wound off, the woman injected his thigh with anesthesia, as Akihiko relaxed and finally related what had happened. By the time he was done, Chika had already removed the flattened bullet, preparing herself to stich his wound. Slipping the needle in and out of Akihiko's skin, she frowned worriedly as she sighed.

"I see… This is bad." She muttered as she continued her work on his thigh. After a while of silence, Chika started bandaging his freshly disinfected wound in a clean, white dressing. Collapsing into the sofa with his back, Akihiko frowned at the ceiling.

"Please explain this whole deal to me… Who were those people and how is Misaki involved with them?" he almost pleaded. Closing the box, Chika stared at the burning flames in the fireplace.

"It's a long story…" she whispered to herself after a moment of silence. Glancing expectedly at her, Akihiko urged her to continue.

"Misaki's case started the night of his parents' accident." She started before she turned the lights off, sitting once again on her armchair, drawing her pipe to her lips. " Misaki's parents were involved with Phantom long before Takahiro was even born."

"What is Phantom?" he dared to ask. The woman studied his face before she gave him an answer.

"Phantom is a secret military organization." She sighed when she saw how the man's eyes widened. "An organization that makes money out of new discoveries on hidden historical places, drug deals, and… assassinations." She finished as she let the information sink in the man's mind.

"You mean…Misaki is…?" he tried to ask, but failed to.

"An assassin. Yes." She affirmed before she exhaled a large cloud of smoke. "Well, he did fake his death when he was 16 with the help of the ones he really did trust and ran away, resuming the life he's been leading until today." She told the shocked man. "But it seems someone slipped that information out of their mouth."

"The Knight… Horus… Why did these people call him that?" Akihiko remembered being slightly confused when those men didn't call Misaki by his given name.

"Heh… It's quite complicated. To explain this to you I'll need to tell you a little story." She smiled mockingly at the dancing flames in her fireplace.

"Go ahead." "Phantom has a lot of professional, trained killers just as much as hackers, dealers and researchers. However, Phantom considered it was not enough." Chika spoke coldly at the though, before shutting her eyes close. "So they looked after children with a certain... gift and more importantly… with the crucial instinct of survival." She continued. Akihiko's eyes almost got out of his eye sockets. "

They wanted to raise them, to educate them and to train them from a young age in their own way, so that they would become the perfect killing machines." The woman turned to face him, as a humorless smile graced her full lips. "You can see where I'm going with this?" she asked sadly. "Misaki had the bad luck to have these two requirements under his sleeve… It didn't help that his parents were involved as researchers in Phantom either…" she sighed.

The ash haired man could only try to keep up with the gigantic wave of information trying to make its way into his brain. His heart started aching at the thought that for the 4 years that he's been living with Misaki, even if he thought he knew everything there was to know about his lover… it has been proven by this woman that he actually didn't know him at all.

"You see… I was very good friends with Misaki's parents since college. So when they died, I and three other people his parents trusted took it upon ourselves to make sure Misaki would become the best… hoping that this strength would help him survive and escape that shithole. Which he did. But with great effort and a great deal of sacrifice." She muttered.

"Hold on… Are you saying that the car accident in which his parents died… wasn't an accident? Akihiko asked hurriedly. The woman gazed carefully at him before her face borrowed a solemn look.

"Exactly. When Suzu* and Kenta* figured out that their youngest son might be taken by Phantom, they did their best to keep him as far away as possible from their eyes. They soon resigned their jobs at Phantom and searched for new jobs, hoping that they could start anew…" she drifted off as if remembering something.

"I and these three friends of ours continued our jobs to the organization, becoming their eyes and ears inside Phantom. In parallel, Misaki was taught by his parents history, word and logistic games and dead languages. I taught him the differences in medical herbs while one of our friends taught him self-defense, trekking, climbing and surviving in wilderness…" Chika said while she inhaled the cherry flavored smog before exhaling it above her head.

"And everything was well for a while. Suzu made sure not to neglect her older son either and considered teaching him as well, which in the end she did. Misaki's parents were loving and considerate, but they made sure they told an older Takahiro about the threat lying outside their door. But how nothing good ever lasts… Phantom found out about the child prodigy of Suzu and Kenta. Firstly, Phantom tried buying the child with heavy money, but they refused. Then…the threats started to appear. And then… the accident." She placed a hand over her forehead in grief.

"Oh God…" Akihiko slumped lower on the sofa. He knew the accident messed Misaki and Takahiro inside a lot…But he never thought it was this much of a mess. Then he realized how hard it must have been for Misaki to keep all that grief to himself. All those bottled up emotions. Of sadness. Of regret. Of rage. And moreover… the pain of blaming himself.

"That's when they took Misaki away from Takahiro. They left without a trace. Initially I wanted to quit. The pain was too much for me to bear. But then I knew I needed to be there for Misaki. I knew he wouldn't have anyone. So the day of the funeral, a day before Misaki was taken away, my friends and I took an oath. To always watch over him and try to make things easier." Chika revealed and the man remembered how tense and scared Takahiro had looked that day, never letting go of Misaki's hand. God, he was so stupid!

"And so Misaki started his training at Phantom." She said as she gritted her teeth with silent rage. "The training program included four other gifted children. Three boys and a girl." She said slowly, remembering the young faces of the damaged people.

"These children, alongside with Misaki were drugged and before they knew….They no longer had any memory of who they were, where they came from or what their names had been…" she finished solemnly.

Akihiko shook with anguish. It all sounded like a bad dream. A really, really bad dream and it hurt when he realized that this bad dream had been Misaki's reality for eight long years. How he wanted to hug and kiss all that pain out of his lover. But that moment he felt helpless. And mad at himself for not knowing what to do.

"Therefore… the children were given different code names. *The King… the Queen… the Bishop… the Rook… and the Knight." She whispered the last name in such a low voice that he almost didn't catch it. "But thinking it wasn't enough, they chose other five names for the children to call themselves. The names of Ancient Egyptian deities." Chika muttered before she turned once again at the man lying on the sofa.

"You get it now, don't you? You finally get it how much of a mess this all is…" she said in with a defeated and pained voice. Akihiko could only stare at her, as anger and sadness and regret and helplessness swallowed him whole. He felt like crying. But he couldn't. He needed to be strong for Misaki. He knew he must be suffering so much more than he was right in that moment.

Little did the two people in the dark room know that behind the wall separating the living room from the kitchen, a figure slumped on the tiles, hugging their knees tightly to their chest as they buried their head on their arms. If it weren't for the sounds the oven and the boiling soup on stove were making, Akihiko might have heard the breathless and heartbreaking sobs of his broken lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truthfully, I tried to slow the pace a bit as one of my friends told me that the events were moving too fast. So I took my time with describing and explaining. I hope it didn't bore you! I'm also sorry if this chapter had too much drama, but I honestly can't imagine it other way. I tried to keep it as realist as possible. I'm well aware that Misaki and Akihiko are so OOC but that's just the point.I hope I didn't confuse anyone with the block of information in this chapter. ಥ_ಥ Please let me know if you didn't get something so I can explain it better. I have no idea when the next chapter will be posted, but I'll do my best! :D
> 
>  
> 
> Now history, game and language info ~
> 
> *Horus – The Egyptian god of the sky, of war and hunting, as well as wisdom and justice. He was a symbol for kingship.
> 
> *Set or Seth – The Egyptian god of chaos, war, storms and desert. He was the one who killed Osiris, the eldest brother, starting the conflict and fight with Horus. Men that time feared Set even more than Nephthys, the goddess of death.
> 
> *Sekhmet – The Egyptian lion goddess and the alter-ego of the goddess of love, Hathor. Sekhmet is the goddess of war, her name literally meaning "she who slaughters".
> 
> *LMG – Light machine gun
> 
> *Chika – From Japanese 千(chi) "thousand", 智(chi) "wisdom, intellect" or 散(chi) "scatter" combined with 佳(ka) "good, fine" or 花(ka) "flower".
> 
> *Suzu - 鈴 Meaning "bell" in Japanese.
> 
> *Kenta - From Japanese 健(ken) "healthy, strong" and 太(ta) "thick, big".
> 
> *The King, The Queen, The Bishop, The Knight and The Rook are the strongest pawns in a chess game.
> 
> Hope that sorted everything out!
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Fel


	3. Where the heart lies

**Chapter 3**

_"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering." — Paulo Coelho_

* * *

 

**Where the heart lies**

 The room was dark. He could barely make out any figures in his living room. Puffy and swollen peridot eyes stared at the ceiling, as the young man felt how his sorrow clenched into his chest painfully. Maybe he should have prepared to fight against it instead? Against the catastrophic storm moving towards him at such a fast pace? No. He did the right thing. It's okay to get hurt than have others hurt for you. That's the rule he's been living after for so long… And he thought that by doing that, he might've achieved peace in the very end. But no. Oh, no. How wrong he's been. Peace did not exist for people such as him. Happiness was nothing but an unachievable, complex thing. And he grew so damn tired to chase after it. It was pointless. What was he more than a tainted and bitter pawn in a game beyond anybody's understanding? A game that sealed his fate a long time ago.

"I'll go hell when all of this is over." His mind whispered silently. "No, maybe I'm already there."

He's already given his resignation papers to Marukawa's president by fax, asking him to keep that information quiet until he was already gone. But he couldn't help but feel nervous. He felt it in his gut. Nothing could hide him from the editor-in-chief of Emerald when he really wanted to give him a piece of his mind. Onodera Ritsu closed his eyes, placing his forearm against the shut lids. He recalled the events from two nights ago, wincing when he accidentally applied some pressure on his bruised and slightly purplish corner of his jaw.

* * *

 

"You're well and healthy. I'm so glad." A small smile crept on her otherwise indifferent, pale face.

"Y-you… What are you doing here? I mean, it's so good to see you! Ugh, I'm so stupid!" he stuttered with embarrassment, before pulling the slender woman into a tight hug.

"I've missed you so much…" he confessed quietly, putting his head on her shoulder. The woman gave out a soft chuckle, hugging him back.

"I've missed you as well." She replied, her azure blue eyes twinkling with affection.

"Well, don't just stand there! Come on in!" Ritsu made space so that the young woman could enter his humble apartment. The female's face converted from indifference to horror the moment she saw how much of a mess his place was. She suddenly started to feel really dizzy.

"You never change, do you?" she muttered with exasperation.

"Nope." Ritsu's face was graced by a sweet smile, which soon faltered when he noticed her red hands and shirt. Obviously, she's had some business to take care of earlier that evening. Ritsu frowned and sighed.

" _So that's what the smell was all about, huh?_ " Ritsu wanted to ask but kept his mouth shut. It was a miracle he's already forgotten what that sacred redness smelt like.

"Go take a shower. I'll bring out some of my clothes for you, alright?" He said instead, pointing to the door that led to his bathroom.

The young woman nodded in appreciation as she pulled her dirty shirt over her head, before she tossed it aside. She started unzipping her jeans kicking them alongside with her undergarments. Ritsu came back from his room with his clumsily folded clothes and yelped at the sight of the woman's slender yet toned body, blushing furiously before he quickly turned around, offering a stuttered sorry. The azure eyed woman only smirked as she scratched softly at her toned abs, before she curtly took the cloths for his arms and started heading to the bathroom. Making sure the jet black haired woman was out of sight, Ritsu turned around and let out a heavy sigh.

"Why does she enjoy teasing me so much?" He asked no one particular. Throwing a glance towards her dirty clothes lying on the floor, he finally noticed a dull, dark object standing proudly on his floor. Her dark gun with its charismatic silencer. A Steyr M1912*, also known through the collectors as the "Hammer". It was almost scary to think how alluring the gun was. The "Hammer" had its own glory as well as its own rules. Ritsu could feel the weight of its history. He frowned darkly and let out a deep sigh. Gathering her clothes into his laundry basket, he soon tossed them into his washing machine. He then picked up the strangely light "Hammer", only to place it on the coffee table ahead of the sofa.

"I really need to make some tea…" He thought to himself. Making his way through the nightmare he called living room, once in his kitchen, Ritsu reached for a teapot in the shelf above his sink. Filling it with water and some mint leaves, he placed the teapot on the stove, waiting for the young woman to get out of the bathroom. Ritsu took a seat at the table, bringing his hands to his face. The kitchen had a sickening color of white under the light of the neon tubes on his ceiling, a color that reminded him of hospitals.

It reminded him of the words his late mother told him before she finally lost her sanity in her endless greed. Black has never been the color for death. Not at all. For black symbolized strong defenses, utmost secrecy and mystery. White on the other hand was just as pure as it was sick. White was a color that accompanied the human beings through their entire life. At their birth, when the infants are to be covered in soft white sheets, when they are already at the mercy of the world. At their wedding, when the lovers swear to each other endless love, support and fidelity, the bride blushing under her pearly white veil, the son-in-law smiling genuinely while playing with the buttons of his best white suit in nervousness. And how could he forget about the last chapter of the human lives? Life is just as short as it is long, and it depends on each and every one of people nowadays to make it worth it.

Because everything, without exception ends in death. The sickening, candle-like white of the dead's skin is always intriguing just as much as it is shocking. The once soft and warm faces and bodies and hands of the ones we've lost would only be a cold sack of bones, so hard at touch that one would say they are like rocks. Ritsu was one of the unfortunate souls to know that very well.

The creak door made Ritsu snap out of his thoughts, revealing the azure eyed woman while she was drying her waist-long jet black hair with a towel. Glancing over her form, Ritsu noted that his clothes were a tad too big for her slender form. A snort escaped his lips, before he clasped a hand over his mouth as he pathetically tried to contain his laughter. The young woman huffed in annoyance as she pulled his sweatpants higher on her waist, before they slumped back, barely hanging on her hips.

"One word and I'll slit your throat." She threatened darkly, before she took a seat at the kitchen table. Ritsu smiled warmly, before he took the hot pot from the stove and poured the tea into two of the mugs he placed earlier on the table.

"Thank You." The dark haired muttered gratefully when he handed over the Rudolf printed mug. Sinking two sugar cubes in the dark tea, the woman took a few sips before Ritsu caught a glimpse of her sparkling eyes.

"Mint tea! It's a wonder you still remember it is my favorite!" she cooed excitedly before she drank some more.

"How could I forget? You were always pressing us to buy you mint leaves whenever we were in town." Ritsu chuckled. The woman's smile was gentle, yet sad, as if recalling some lost memories from the corners of her mind.

"How are your parents?" She asked as she bore her eyes into her mug.

"They are alright." Ritsu forced a smile. "Mother…My step mother is bugging me to get married, while father is struggling to take me back into the mansion." He told her tiredly.

The blue eyed woman only smiled before she placed a cool hand over his own. Ritsu then remembered the familiar cold of her hands. He recalled trying to warm them up when they were younger but she would always shrug it off with a smile and a shake of her head.

"So you've finally remembered." It wasn't a question. More like a statement. Her eyes showed true happiness and yet… her sadness would always remain. Ritsu smiled sadly before nodding. He clasped their hands together and he already felt like crying.

"I'm glad. I'm _so_ glad." She bent her head so that her forehead pressed on the table. Her voice dripped with emotion. Her heart felt like bursting and breaking at the same time. Ritsu could relate to her feelings. The feeling of not remembering your own past…and not even your given name… it was hell.

"Listen up, Ritsu…" she mumbled softly. "They know."

"Hah… I knew that from the moment you've been standing in front of my door." He said with concern and a little bit of fear laced in his voice.

The young woman raised her face only to make full contact with his eyes. "I managed to convince the bastard to let me come to you instead of himself and his bodyguards. Ritsu… you have to come back. You know what would happen if you deny his request. I'm sorry." The dark haired whispered.

Ritsu only smiled painfully. He felt a burning sensation in his eyes and he soon felt like he couldn't breathe. A sob made its way out of his mouth as the brunette buried his face into his hands. The woman moved so that she could snake her arms around his shoulders.

"I'm sorry." She whispered brokenly.

* * *

 

There was no point of beating around the bush. At the blush of dawn he had to leave. He had to leave everything behind. His apartment, that was always so messy and yet always the perfect sanctuary. His work as a shoujo manga editor that he came to love so much, despite all of the hardships he's had to face. His family, whom he learned to trust and to love back with the same intensity they loved him. And… Takano Masamune. Ritsu winced at the thought of his boss. Truthfully, he really felt guilty.

He knew how much it would mess Masamune up if he left. But what choice did he have? It was either this or… the idea of being robbed of everything he cared about. He wanted to stay. God, he'd do _anything_ to stay by Takano's side. But he couldn't afford being selfish. Not when his loved ones were at stake. Not when he was so scared of letting Takano learn of his tainted past. Not when he couldn't let his comrades down. He's a done a vow back in his days.

_Always and forever_.

"Always and forever, indeed." Ritsu whispered to no one in particular.

A powerful knock on his door pulled him out of his racing thoughts. At first, Ritsu decided to ignore it, but as seconds passed by, the noise started to irritate him. The longer he waited the harsher the knocks and kicks on his poor door became. So much for a silent and uneventful night, eh? There could only be one person so desperate and so rude at that hour. With a groan, Ritsu managed to make his way through his now clean living room to the entrance of his apartment. His feet moved soundlessly against the wood of his parquet. Drawing in a deep breath, the brunette braced himself for the storm yet to come before he finally unlocked the door. Before he could even open up, the door slammed open noisily and before he could even register what was happening, Ritsu had already been pinned uncomfortably against the wall, facing angry honey filled orbs.

"You bastard!" The black haired man towering above him hissed hotly as he pressed Ritsu into wall even harder.

"Takano-san…" The brunette managed to say with a shock filled voice. Ritsu's eyes filled with emotions he couldn't voice out, bowing his head in shame as he tried to evade the other man's glare.

"You plan on running away again, aren't you? You plan on leaving me again…" Masamune rasped out angrily. "After everything we've been through? I told you that love you I love _you_ for countless times and you still refuse to hear me out?" The taller man's voice started to reach a crescendo. "What else do you want me to do, huh? What the fuck do you want, Onodera?!" He raged at his one and only love, as he gripped at the brunette's wrists harder, until he was gifted by a small whimper.

Noticing how the smaller man refused to meet his eyes, Masamune gritted his teeth in fury before he muttered darkly. "Look at me…" Ritsu vigorously shook his head as he shoulders trembled, his breaths coming out in short and heavy puffs.

"Look at me, damn it!" Masamune yelled as he quickly brought his hands to his lover's chin, forcing the green eyed man's head up to meet his eyes. The sight caught the elder off guard. He was greeted by slightly pained and puffy red eyes, the younger's cheeks being soaked by hot rivers of tears. Ritsu struggled to maintain any noise threatening to escape his mouth, but without any success.

"I'm s-sorry!" the younger creaked out. He finally started sobbing as he dropped his head on Masamune's chest, gripping as for his own life on the dark haired man's shirt. "I'm sorry!" Ritsu cried even harder. Masanume encircled his arms around Ritsu instinctively, as tears welled up into his honey colored eyes.

It hurt. It _hurt_ seeing Ritsu cry. Ritsu never cried. No matter how hard things became, he _never_ shed a tear. Not that he knew of. But if there was one thing he knew… it was the fact that tears didn't suit Ritsu. Masamune then kissed his lover in a poor attempt to distract him from his pain. Ritsu sobbed against his lips, giving him the perfect opportunity to snake his tongue into the brunette's mouth. He kissed the younger with a burning manner, his large hands rubbing small circles into the back of his lover, until Ritsu's sobs dissipated. The brunette slowly stared to kiss Masamune back with the same urgency as he brought his arms up to wrap around the taller man's neck. Masamune moved lower in the dark, pressing a wet kiss to Ritsu jaw and while he expected a moan, he was shocked when he was rewarded with a hiss of pain instead.

Snapping his eyes open, the taller man took a good look at his lover's jaw before he finally caught sight of the slightly swollen and purplish bruise marking Ritsu proudly. "Damn… Who gave you that?" The golden eyed man asked bemused.

"An-chan…"Ritsu replied while he was struggling to catch his breath. "…when I told her that I'll leave soon." He finished with a pant.

"Then you deserved it." Masamune said in his usual smug manner, making Ritsu a little more comfortable.

"Yeah… I guess I did." The brunette let out a shaky and strained laugh. Tears flooded the elder's eyes before he gathers the younger man into his arms and burying his head on his shoulder.

"Don't leave me…" Ritsu heard the plea from his lover's lips that remained glued to his left ear. "Don't leave… _Please_ , Ritsu, please don't." Masamune kept on pleading his lover. Ritsu felt a warm wetness on his shoulder and he felt like crying again.

"I'll never forgive you if you do." Masamune told him brokenly as he looked at Ritsu square in the eyes, before he sealed his lips with his own. Ritsu shivered at the contact between Masamune's roaming hands and the skin of his back and abdomen.

Everything else that night passed in a blur. Ritsu couldn't remember how they got into his bed and only remembered how perfect their lips melted into each other. He remembered how Masamune's body fit his own like a glove in their loving embrace. He remembered the burning desire in his navel, the feverish touches and the needy grips on each other's bodies. He remembered the particular taste of salt of their kisses, the salt provided by each other's never ending tears. He remembered how in the afterglow of their love session Masamune held on him tightly, whispering sweetly in his ear those three sinful little words.

Ritsu felt how his entire world started crumbling the moment he caught a glimpse through the curtains of his windows of the stunning palette of purples, blues, oranges, yellows and reds of the dawn sky. He gazed over the dark haired man's face. He fell in love once again when he noticed the peaceful and content expression on his face.

" _He looks so young when he's soundly asleep_ …" The brunette thought to himself, smiling sadly when he caressed Masamune's face as he earned a sleepy mumble back. With a heavy heart, Ritsu slowly slipped out of his lover's arms, making sure to move carefully around as not to wake the elder up from his slumber. Once properly dressed, Ritsu made his way to his desk in the living room, taking a pen and a piece of paper with him. He quickly started writing down on the piece of paper words he had too much pride to voice out, words he was too shy to whisper and something he never thought of doing before. Something stupid. But it was worth the shot.

Besides, this time… this time Ritsu was going to give Masamune a choice. A choice his teenager self refused to give out of selfishness and doubt. By the time he finished his letter, the morning sun had already crept into his apartment, creating a warm and welcoming presence. A presence he did not belong to. A presence he'd taint if he were to stay any longer. Moving soundlessly back to his bedroom, Ritsu placed the letter on his lover's lap. Ritsu's eyes were burned by the salty tears that now threatened to fall, as he one last time took a moment to take in the handsome features of his one and first love.

Ritsu took in the endless dark of his hair that contrasted so beautifully with his pale skin, the perfect curve of his thick eyebrows, the straight line of his nose, to his high and rosy cheeks and to his strong jawline. He memorized the feeling of his proud, full lips and of his large warm, hands, the feeling of strong chest in which he felt so safe and always at total bliss. Ritsu then burned that image of his lover in one of the corners of his brain, to keep a part of Masamune with himself forever.

He promised to remember this image in his darkest days, in an attempt to turn on the light of a hope, no matter how small, that they will meet again. Stuffing a sob from escaping his mouth, Ritsu moved above his lover to press a soft kiss on his forehead. Wiping roughly at his eyes, Ritsu drew in a deep breath before he whispered slowly something he should've said a long time ago. Three words that he should've said every day of his time spent with Masamune, yet failed to.

Having those words said, Ritsu left his apartment silently, cursing the fate of his love and cursing himself for not being strong enough to fight for something he knew he could never achieve. The only consolation he felt was given by the sweet words he shared with his sleeping lover. Words that could not save him from the cruel reality he lived in. Their echo drove him insane with loneliness.

_I … love you…I love you. I love you! I love you so much…!_

_Please forgive me._

* * *

 

Despite the shining sun that kept on rising on the pink sky, the wind was biting harshly at his exposed skin. Not that he minded. He was in no state to be bothered by pain of his cold hands and neither by his burning eyes. Misaki didn't want to think. He didn't want to remember the sleeping face of Akihiko when he left the penthouse for the last time. He didn't want to imagine the face Akihiko would be making when he realized he was nowhere to be found. It hurt too much. And he feared that this pain will eat him inside out.

He let out a deep sigh, as he pressed his back into the door of the black Toyota Hilux* standing proudly in front of the apartment complex a few feet ahead. The door's soft click drew Misaki's attention as from the passenger's seat got out a jet black haired woman with stunning azure blue eyes. Moving so that her back would be pressed to the big car, the young woman put a brown cigarette between her full, red lips, before she brought up a hand to light it up. A familiar scent of cherries comforted Misaki in silence.

" _Black Stones Cherry, huh_?" he thought to himself.

"You did the right thing, Misaki…" the woman tried to console him while she let out the smog out of her lungs.

"I know… That's just the problem." Misaki said bitterly as he ran a cold hand through his dark chocolate locks.

"How so?" She asked indifferently. "Because now Usagi-san will never forgive me for leaving him." He spoke out as he looked up into the light sky instead.

"Because now he has an idea about what kind of monster I am, and he should be smart enough to keep his distance."

"And what if he isn't?" The blue eyed woman asked, her usual rational voice cutting through Misaki like a blade. "What if he decides to chase after you, instead?" Misaki let out a forced laugh before his lips turned into a sickening, little smile.

"Then I'll just have to scare him off." He said darkly. "You'd know everything about that, right Sekhmet?" He asked mockingly.

"Heh, why of course." Sekhmet played along as her lips morphed into a solemn and dangerous smile. She inhaled once again from her cigarette as she figured that playing along Misaki's scenarios might help him overcome the pain that lingered inside his chest.

" _Aren't I such a good friend_?" she head her mind say with an amused voice. Another figure made itself shown as the door from the driver's seat was slammed back into its rightful place. The tall and muscular figure of the redhead man decided to join the two into their silence, as he awkwardly stuffed his hands into his coat. After some while of comfortable silence, the man let out a colorful bark of laughter before he grinned to his comrades.

"You know, I never understood how you guys always liked to stay out in the cold while you could simply just stay put in the car. What the hell are you doing anyway? Sightseeing?" Set asked barely containing his snorts. Sekhmet raised a dark eyebrow as she took another whiff from her cigarette before stubbed it out in her portable ashtray. Exhaling the smog into the thin air, the young woman smirked at the taller man.

"Well, you know I have… a particular taste for nature, if you know what I mean." She cooed sweetly as she made small circles into the redhead's chest with her finger. Misaki could only stare dumbfounded as he tried to make out the hidden meaning behind her words, while Set simply blushed furiously as he smacked her hand away quickly, mumbling softly to himself as she laughed in his face.

Misaki smiled at their cute exchange, before his smile faltered when he noticed a familiar figure in the distance, making its way to their car. Peridot met emerald once again in a sad encounter. Misaki made out Ritsu's swollen eyes before he noticed his bruised jaw. Set's eyes softened in understanding, while Sekhmet moved to give him a firm hug. Ritsu's expression reflected his own an hour ago.

The group soon hopped in the big car before they made their way out of the apartment complex. The ride was silent and still, as no one dared to mutter a word. The only sounds filling the car were the bittersweet sounds of Fritz Kreisler's* wonderful piano masterpiece Love's Sorrow. Sekhmet probably wanted to give Misaki and Ritsu time to adjust before they returned to Phantom, while Set simply placed his attention on the road ahead. In the backseat, Misaki squeezed Ritsu's hand in reassurance as both of them decided it was enough to just keep staring on the window, in an attempt to distract themselves from their failures.

It hurt. Everything hurt like hell. But… that was the point after all, now was it?

Pain demanded to be felt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah... You actually expected to read some smut right? Too bad guys, but not in this one. I promise you there will be some hot and angsty sex later in the plot though. :3
> 
> You've probably noticed that this chapter is more focused on Ritsu's side of story, therefore has more description than dialogue. Truthfully, I love describing… pretty much everything, but given the fact that English is not my native language, you could imagine that nothing was right. I've noticed while I was writing how I tend to lose myself into details. 
> 
> So many details, you actually lose the grip on one sentence. So for an entire month I kept on writing and deleting and writing and deleting, because nothing seemed right! I'm not completely satisfied with this version either, but I figured it's better than what I've written previously. 
> 
> Also, please do listen to BANKS – You should know where I'm coming from, while reading Ritsu and Masamune's exchange. I swear that songs fits their relationship like a glove. Well, more like…it focuses on the feelings built up inside Ritsu that is torn apart between leaving and staying. Seriously, go for it. You might have already noticed, but I'm a sucker for gun brands. You could just say I take that from my dad X*D 
> 
> Okay, now for INFO:  
> * Steyr M1912, also known as the "Hammer" is a semi-automatic, stripper clip fed pistol chambered in 9mm Steyr which was introduced in 1911. A large number of the M1912 were rechambered for 9x19mm after the German annexation of Austria in 1938. This gun has a lot of history, and is a blast to shoot. In other words, the perfect pistol to shoot your ex's balls off. *winks* 
> 
> * Toyota Hilux is a robust and great-value alternative to pick-up rivals like the Ford Ranger and Nissan Navara. The Toyota Hilux has been around for a while, with the first version launching back in 1968, but now into its seventh generation, Toyota's pick-up offers an extra dose of style and comfort compared to more traditional commercial vehicles.
> 
> * Fritz Kreisler (February 2, 1875 – January 29, 1962) was an Austrian-born violinist and composer. One of the most famous violin masters of his or any other day, and regarded as one of the greatest violinists of all time, he was known for his sweet tone and expressive phrasing. Like many great violinists of his generation, he produced a characteristic sound which was immediately recognizable as his own. Although he derived in many respects from the Franco-Belgian school, his style is nonetheless reminiscent of the gemütlich (cozy) lifestyle of pre-war Vienna. 
> 
> *Love's Sorrow is included in Alt-Wiener Tanzweisen (Old Viennese Melodies in German), which is a set of three short pieces for violin and piano, written by Fritz Kreisler. The three pieces are usually performed or heard separately, and are titled Liebesfreud (Love's Joy), Liebesleid (Love's Sorrow), and Schön Rosmarin (Lovely Rosemary).
> 
> Also, thank you so much for reading this story! It makes me very happy that you guys like it! ^^ I'll do my best and update as soon as I can *hug*  
> As you've probably figured out, the other 3 paws are not SIH or JR characters. X*D And let me tell you a little secret. One of the reasons that this chapter took me so long to finish was because I didn't plan to write about Ritsu at all! In fact, this chapter was supposed to be well, the future chapter 4. But I noticed how many reviewers as well as some of my friends asked me to include more Nostalgia. So I decided to try my best and include them as much as I could. It will be tricky to bring Takano back in the plot, but not impossible. 
> 
> Until next time,  
> Fel


	4. A glimpse of Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misaki goes to the club. Or so they say...:3

**Chapter 4**

_"Shall you fight fire with fire of your own and you might end up with ashes instead of victory." - Anon_

* * *

 

**A glimpse of hell**

They stopped somewhere deep inside the woods. When the four got out of the car their eyes were greeted by a peaceful and bright atmosphere, something that only nature could provide. Sekhmet and Set moved together ahead as they chatted quietly about last night's Supernatural episode while the two brunettes chose to stay behind them and take in the lovely view that they were blessed with. The sun was warm and it highlighted the red and yellow leaves of the autumn trees, morphing the leaves lying on the ground into a colorful and unique manifestation of nature's wonderful masterpieces. Misaki was almost feeling bad for ruining it with his feet. Almost. If only it wasn't for his guilty thoughts plaguing his mind. A tuck on his sleeve made him turn his head to his right to stare questionably at the chestnut haired man.

"Stop thinking about it. It won't help either one of you." Ritsu cracked a soft smile, his tired eyes staring ahead strongly, as Misaki guessed he was concentrating on anything else but his heartbreak. Misaki only tugged his nose under his red scarf as he chose not to talk about anything related with his now past life.

Taking Ritsu's advice as an attempt to anesthetize his wounded conscience, the younger man started focusing on nature and later on about things to come. He thought about the way nature always seemed to relax him, even in his darkest moments and wondered if it was the quietness or the refreshing sight that calmed him more. He thought about how the birds of passage might have already left Japan to warmer countries. He asked himself if the sun would fade earlier that day than the day before. And then he simply started to argue with his conscience about the possibility of actually finding Amanita muscaria* somewhere in those woods and about taking time off to collect some and using them on future enemies. Talk about being an assassin, heh.

"It's going to rain soon." Ritsu spoke casually as he woke Misaki up from his thoughts.

"Nonsense. Look at all of this sunshine! There is no sight of clouds on the sky either…" Misaki argued as he frowned at his elder. Ritsu only sighed and smacked the younger at the back of his neck not-so-gently, earning a wince of pain.

"What the hell was that for?!" Misaki exclaimed bewildered, making soft circles around his aching neck.

"One. Never question your elders." The peridot eyed man said with a smirk, before adding. "Scratch that. Only trust me, Set and Sekhmet. Don't ever place your trust in Apep*, even if your life depended on it." Ritsu narrowed his eyes.

"You needn't tell me that, geez… Trust me, I know better than to place my trust randomly." Misaki said darkly. "And why the hell are we talking about him, when we were talking about the damn weather?" Ritsu gave up a long sigh.

"Sorry, I got carried away." He said sheepishly, earning an annoyed look from the younger man.

"Well? What's number two?" Misaki decided to ask instead of barking complaints.

"My back is screaming that it's going to rain soon." Ritsu said with an apologetic smile and Misaki's face just fell.

"Shit…I can't actually believe I forgot about your back." The dark brown haired smacked himself over the face. "I'm such an asshole."

"Hey, don't blame yourself about it. It's been six years after all." Ritsu said as he glanced over a tree's trunk, noticing the old carving of a heart in which rested a Z and S*, tied together by a plus. Ritsu then smiled before saying.

"Besides… even I forgot how _short_ you were." He said with a snicker. Misaki punched the elder in his arm playfully as he huffed in annoyance.

"For your information, I grew up three centimeters these six years!"

"Just three? God, you suck…" Ritsu laughed when his arm met another punch. Misaki was ready to give a very intelligent response when his face collided with Set's back. Groaning in pain, the darker brunette rubbed his nose, meeting Set's annoyed sunset-like eyes.

"Oy, watch the fuck where you're going." Set snarled as he turned to face the old house a few feet ahead of them.

The house wasn't old. It was freaking antique. Ritsu actually wondered how the house was still standing on those poorly maintained clay walls. The roof was formed by countless layers of straw and Misaki guessed that the straw had been covering that house for so long that mosses alongside with a diversity of plants were already stuck on it. The windows were so dirty that one could hardly see anything inside. With a long sigh, Ritsu was the first one to move towards the house, shortly being followed by his comrades. As the door slid closed, concealing everything from the peering eyes, after a short while, the house muffled the bone chilling screams and cries of two unfortunate souls.

* * *

 

It's been five months since the day they've regained their scars and tattoos. Misaki felt a wave of anguish wash over him as he remembered how he's given away his prized possession. While certain others would have laughed at his loss, he didn't find it funny at all. Even if it was just a music box. Except it wasn't just that. It was… It _had been_ the only thing his mother and father had left behind. The only thing he could remember his parents from, other than family albums. And now it was gone. And for what? To reclaim these damned markings, the proof that he was the monster every child feared at night. To reclaim the things he's suffered so much to get rid of six years ago.

" _Whenever you are afraid or hurt, let this music box soothe your wounds and chase away your fears, love. Remember that each time you play it, no matter where you are, I'll be there._ " His mother said once.

Misaki felt like he failed her by giving the music box away. He was ashamed, depressed, angry… so _angry_ and so _hurt_! But magic always came with a price. The old witch was probably the only living person he knew that always took the right price for the right spell. Magic wasn't a game. It wasn't fun. And it wasn't cheap either. Few knew that, hence, informed people always left magic only as a last resort. And Misaki knew he should be grateful. Especially when his price couldn't even compare to Ritsu's.

Carrying the weight of being Phantom's Rook, Ritsu had been forced to live up to his title and act as a shield to fellow companions. So it was understandable that Ritsu also bore more battle scars than all of the pawns. Every member of Phantom knew that Ritsu was the key of winning any battle. Not only for his gifts as a hacker, but also for his remarkable fighting tactics, defenses and high pain tolerance. While the Queen was able to take more enemies at one time thanks to her great abilities as a fighter, the Bishop was rightfully known for traps and his utmost finesse of every single kill, sticking his prey down the moment it believes it's safe. On the other hand, the King… well, he had this talent of getting information out of people and he wasn't gentle about it either.

And then it was the Knight. Misaki was famed for his agility, for his ability of infiltrating even the securest places and especially for his mastery at killing his enemies silently. Misaki was like a shadow, a barely felt winter breeze… a phantom. So here he was, on his first mission since he's returned. Misaki was actually grateful to his shitty boss that he allowed both him and Ritsu to train themselves in order to get fit and live up to Phantom's expectations. After five months of intense training, fighting, climbing and survival tests, his body has gotten used to the overflowing adrenaline and his burning muscles. He was prepared for this.

And so the brunette walked along with some people towards the entrance of one of the most prestigious night clubs in Tokyo. _Spirit_. Walking in front of a security guard, Misaki flashed him his obviously fake ID, before heading inside. Wearing a sleeveless black turtle neck blouse, with tight latex pants and dark combat boots, accompanied by a dark, casual trench coat, one would think the young man was giving himself away. Luckily, the night's theme was All BLACK and Misaki mended into the flow of people naturally.

The music was loud, the bass powerful and sending waves of energy everywhere. The predatory green orbs searched around with boredom, before they stopped to burn a hole into the broad back of a man seated a floor above the mass of people, on a large sofa, surrounded by numerous, elegant business men and women. At that moment, the band that was supposed to entertain the public for the night stepped with confidence on the stage. The charismatic female singer placed her hands on the mic before she flashed the crowd a sparkling smile. Greeting her fans and the rest of the people gathered there for the concert, the band began their performance.

 

" _You make my teeth clench and my hands shake_

_Do you ever see what you do to me?_

_You're wearing me out_

_Just wearing me out_

_But I'm wearing you down."_

 

"Wow… I never expected them to be so good! Especially that woman. What a voice!" Misaki heard a guy on his left exclaim in delight and he knew that the band just earned another fan. But indeed, the man was right. If only Sekhmet could see them right now. She'd want to go on stage and sing with them. Misaki snorted at the thought. She had never really given up on her dream of becoming a rock star.

The green eyed man focused once again on the laughing man above the crowd and with a weary sigh he moved through some people towards the exit of the large hall, towards the stairs leading above. Misaki suddenly became more aware of the weight in the hidden pocket of his trench coat. He felt how his hands were eager to hold the handle of his Beretta, how his fingers were burning to pull the trigger. And it made him his to the stomach.

 

" _You're impossible to love or leave_

_So impossible to win or please_

_I'm wearing you out Just wearing you out_

_But I'm wearing you down._ "

 

The singer's voice laced gracefully with the dynamic and rhythmic instrumental, making Misaki wish he could just stay in the crowd and enjoy the damn concert like any other normal person. But any thought of normal lives flew his mind the moment he reached the upper floor and saw how his target smacked a waitress on her bottom. The waitress reddened considerably with embarrassment and fury before she dumped the cocktail on her tray right between the shameless man's legs.

Surrounded by the mocking laughs of his guests, Misaki's prey cursed the waitress and in blind rage he brutally pushed the woman on the floor. The sound of the breaking glasses on her tray stopped the men's laughter and the women's giggles, especially when they caught sight of the slightly bloody hands of the fallen young woman. "Get the fuck out of my face, you ugly piece of shit!" The man roared angrily as the girl winced both in pain and fear.

"Get lost, before I smash your filthy face into the shards of glass!" He threatened darkly.

"Y-yes, sir!" She stuttered while she quickly cleaned up the mess on the floor with her bare hands. Misaki watched from behind a pillar how the young woman kept her dignity high and refused to show any of them any sight of weakness.

 

" _Take what you want from me It means nothing now_

_Take everything from me_

_It means nothing now_

_Not so easy to forgive; harder to forget_

_Take what you want_."

 

The music seemed to get the man back into the groove, totally ignoring the waitress as he began flirting with the vulgar woman in his lap. As soon as she was finished, the waitress rushed away from the pathetic excuse of human beings, finally letting tears of defeat roll down on her heart shaped face.

Misaki decided to make his presence known by stepping in front of her. Shocked by his sudden appearance, the waitress quickly made a movement to wipe her eyes, before she tried to pass by him. Misaki then surprised her again by catching her by the wrist, spinning her around so she'd be facing him again. Misaki studied her flushed face and guessed that she couldn't be older than 18, and most probably a senior in high school. He then smiled gently and took the tray from her bleeding hands.

"I apologize on that bastard's behalf, miss." He apologized as he gave her a bill of 10000 yen with slight anger laced in his voice. "Please accept this and…Shit! You are bleeding too much!" The brunette cursed as he snaked a hand in one of the pockets inside his trench coat before he came back with a first aid kit bandage.

The young woman gaped at him as he began bandaging both of her hands with a speed she never thought it was possible.

"You need to go to the hospital as soon as possible. The only thing I did was to stop the bleeding but you need to get all of the shards out and get treatment for possible infections. Understood?" He asked her seriously. Noticing that the waitress was still in a daze, Misaki shook her gently by her shoulders.

"Hey, are you listening?" He asked with amusement twinkling in his green orbs. She quickly nodded, her cheeks burning in a lovely shade of red, her brown eyes showing a glimpse of admiration and … something else Misaki couldn't comprehend.

 

_"I make your lips wet_

_And your moans quake_

_Try to think through what I can do to you_

_It's wearing me thin,_

_Can I begin to wear you out?_ "

 

"Y-yes! Thank you so much for your help, sir!" She said with embarrassment before she bowed so low to show her respects that Misaki thought she might fall on her head. "No, no! It's quite alright! Don't worry about it." The brunette assured her with a smile.

"Sir! Please tell me what your name is! I want to know the name of my savoir!" She spoke so quickly that he barely caught her words.

"Ehehe… I am no savior miss. I was only-" He tried to reason out before he was cut off by the petite blonde girl.

"Please!" She flushed darker and she bowed again, as her blonde mid-length hair covered her face.

"No, please there is no need for you to do that!" Misaki said embarrassedly. "My name is Misaki Takahashi." He finally surrendered to the girl's antics. The girl raised her head to reveal a bright, pearly white smile.

"Thank you so much for your help, T-Takahashi-san! P-please take care of yourself!"She stammered out quickly before her legs broke into a quick jog downstairs, leaving Misaki dumbfounded.

 

" _Take what you want from me_

_It means nothing now_

_Take everything from me_

_It means nothing now_

_Not so easy to forgive; harder to forget_

_Take what you want_."

 

The song broke into a wonderful guitar solo and Misaki shook his head with amusement, before he turned to spy over the filthy group ahead of him. Soon the prey rose up to head to the bathroom, probably to take care of the mess stuck on his pants. Like a shadow, Misaki followed, sliding soundlessly into the bathroom and with a quick movement, he locked the door. The man swore as he went to the sink, wetting his rough hands with water before rubbing them against the material of his pants in hope that the strains would disappear. Noticing that his actions were in vain, the man let out an angry growl before he threw a fist into the sink.

"That stupid bitch!" He swore once again, too preoccupied with his own problem to notice the dark figure coming next to him. And that seemed to be his gravest mistake, for the next second he was lying on the floor, clawing helplessly at his bloodied chest.

"Now, now. That's not a nice way to treat a lady, now is it?" The green eyed monster spoke coldly, the man cowering in fear under his deadly gaze and the sight of the hard, light grey gun.

"Please...!" The man gasped out. "Please don't kill me! I-I have money! Name a price and let me go!" He desperately pleaded at the predator. The brunette towering above him let out a small chuckled and while his lips were curled into a smirk his eyes showed no mercy when he shot the wounded man again in his chest.

"People are not yours to buy, scum." He muttered as he watched how the man coughed blood in his pathetic attempts of crying out after help. "But I suppose I've just taught you that. Too bad you won't get to apply that any time soon." Phantom's Knight spoke as every sign of life left the dull eyes of the wealthy man.

Letting out a sigh, Misaki pulled the corpse into an empty stall before preceded on cleaning the fresh poll of blood in the middle of the bathroom. He wouldn't want to draw attention before he left the club. The staff would already have a lot of cleaning to do in the stall, and he didn't want to add more to their future problems. Though he figured that cleaning would be the least of their problems. He was actually very grateful that there were tiles instead of the usual parquet found in club and restaurant bathrooms.

 

" _I'm impossible to figure out_

_So impossible you had your doubt_

 

_Take what you want from me_

_It means nothing now_

_Take everything, honey_

_It means nothing now_

_Not so easy to forgive; harder to forget_

_Take what you want from me._ "

 

Misaki started on washing his hands as he waited patiently for the next song to begin, but frowned in concern when he heard screams instead. Rushing out of the bathroom, a hot gust of wind stopped him in his tracks. Green eyes widened as he witnessed what one would call a scene pulled out from a horror movie. Fire. Smoke. Terrified people stepping and pushing one another in order to grasp a chance of survival. Misaki's eyes quickly moved to the source of the hellish nightmare, towering on the ceiling before he took a sharp intake of breath. Was that… foam sound insulation with a ceiling made of nylon?! As he inspected it better he figured the foam wasn't even A class but C class. In other words, extremely flammable. Misaki's gaze followed the course of the foam, leading to the two burning, wooden pillars on the stage. He noticed fireworks tied to each of them. He cursed as fear crossed his orbs.

"Okay… Okay, the place is on fire. Shit, don't panic." He talked to himself in an attempt to calm himself down. "Okay… I need to get out of here… without asphyxiating and burning out like a torch." Misaki said with a slightly comic-like pitched voice.

He moved towards the sink and in a few seconds he soaked the entire length of his scarf before he used the empty tube of liquid soap to soak himself from head to toe.

"Okay… I _can_ do this." With an unusual speed, the brunette hurried downstairs, pressing the wet material of his scarf to his nose and mouth. The wet scarf was not only protecting his lungs from the thick smoke. The fact that the material was wet had the water inside acting like a filter, allowing him to use the scarf for an extended period of time. Unfortunately, the moment he snaked through the flow of people and was so close to the exit, a good length of the nylon ceiling fell.

"Get back!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, trying to prevent the people beside him from taking another step forward. But his cry was ignored by everyone and only the girl on his right was quick enough to obey him to stop in her tracks, watching with dread as the melting ceiling caught the poor souls underneath it. Screams of pain and anguish filled the air. Misaki winced when he saw the melting faces of the future corpses and turned around, pulling the girl along with him. They were trapped.

"Takahashi-san!" The girl screamed with fear, her bloody bandaged hands clawing helplessly at his sleeve before she broke into a coughing fit. Misaki then brought the scarf to her mouth, allowing her to catch her breath, surprised to notice that she was the waitress from earlier.

"Keep that to your face and _don't_ let go of my hand!" He yelled before he yanked her towards the bathroom on the ground floor.

He felt his lungs straining, his head starting to get heavier and heavier with each passing second and he knew that the girl was barely standing. Facing the two fashionable sinks, Misaki let go of her hand and kicked powerfully the two legs the sinks were standing on, individually. With a loud noise, the sinks fell and shattered before letting him see the two tubes connected to the underground sewage. Ripping them from the wall, Misaki brought one of the tubes to his mouth and inhaled the air only the underground could give at that moment. The girl followed his example and brought the other tube to her mouth as she breathed deeply, relief washing over her face.

"The fire won't get here. But we need to stay here 'till the firemen arrive." Misaki explained when his head became clear, before he turned to breathe again in the tube, the girl nodding in understatement.

"I owe you my life, Takahashi-san." The girl smiled as tears spilled from her hazel eyes. "I could never repay you for what you did today." She spoke loudly in an attempt to cover the screams outside, pressing her mouth harder on the tube as her breaths came out in short puffs.

"You needn't repay me. The life of innocent people is very precious." Misaki spoke into his tube but loud enough for the girl to hear him. "And Misaki is just fine. What's your name?" Misaki smiled as he watched her wipe her eyes before she looked at him with bravery.

"Asuka*." The blonde said with pride.

"Well Asuka, you've been very brave today." He smiled gently. The girl had everything needed to survive. The bravery, the instinct, enough brain in her head to judge like a survivalist. "Don't let the horrors you've seen today stop you from living your life to the fullest, got it?"Misaki asked and saw how her eyes shined with admiration and respect.

"I won't let it stop me. I promise." She smiled through her tears.

In half an hour the firemen arrived and took them out of the hellish club. They found out that there were 18 casualties, leaving out the not-yet-found corpse hiding in the stall on the first floor, and around 100 wounded. Misaki knew that it was the time to go. Pulling Asuka aside, he whispered in her ear.

"I need you to do something for me."

"Anything! Please ask away!" Her hazel eyes reflected eagerness, her cheeks flushed.

"Please do not say my name to anyone. Not to the policemen nor to the firemen. Nor to the lawyers and business men and women or reporters that ask you for information. Not even to your family or friends." His lips pressed to the shell of her ear, earning a shiver on her behalf. "Can you do that for me, Asuka?" He asked with the gentlest voice he could gather.

"Y-yes! I swear on everything I have precious!" She stammered and Misaki smiled affectionately before ruffling her hair. He knew the girl would keep her word.

"Thank you. Have a happy life." The brunette gave her one last smile as he waved his hand and walked away.

" _For your well being, may we never meet again, Asuka."_ Misaki whispered to himself before he vanished from the public eye.

* * *

 

Akihiko was a mess. He searched everywhere he could think of. He tried to contact Takahiro countless times, but everything he did was in vain. He guessed that his old friend was in just as much pain as he was. But no matter where he looked, there were no traces of Misaki. His Misaki. God, he missed his green eyed lover so much it drove him insane! But Misaki made him swear that no matter what happened he wouldn't neglect himself or his work. And he tried not to. But how could he write when the reason he lived for was gone? How could he sleep knowing that in the morning there would be no Misaki greeting him downstairs with freshly made breakfast?

The silver head remembered how in the first month without Misaki, everyone close to him visited constantly, as if they were afraid he might do something reckless. Like committing suicide. Everyone visited him. From his father, Hiroki, Isaka, Aikawa to his brother, Haruhiko. It was strange how this sad event united the two brothers. Akihiko might never say that aloud, but he was glad that Haruhiko was also doing everything in his power to find Misaki. If only Misaki were there to see that…

"What are you doing now, Misaki?" He whispered to himself. He's just sent ten chapters to Aikawa via mail, thus earning two weeks of rest. Turning on the TV, his lavender eyes widen as he let the news into his processing mind.

" _One hour ago, a terrible fire has erupted into the famed nightclub, SPIRIT. The authorities refuse to give further information, but we've found out that there are 19 casualties, including the dead body of the well-known business man Tachi Komatsu and over 100 of wounded people. Until we get further information-_ "

Akihiko's brows knitted into a frown when he saw the multiple bodies and countless of doctors performing first-aid procedures. But what he saw next left him unprepared. Behind the reporter, a familiar figured flashed. The image didn't last for more than three second but he already knew. He was shocked to the core as he slumped into his sofa.

"Misaki… Don't tell me you-"Akihiko was interrupted by the angry buzz of his cellphone. Initially he was going to ignore it, but something drove him to reach it. Slightly dazed, the lavender eyed man moved to grasp the phone on his coffee table and the moment he saw the name of his caller, he immediately responded.

"Takahiro!" He answered, his voice dripping with relief and desperation.

" _Usagi… We need to talk. As soon as possible._ "

* * *

 

Misaki moved as a lone wolf under the moonlight, on the empty streets. He wasn't in a rush to get back. Why would he be? His return would only bring more assassination requests. How could he be thrilled about that? He hated this. He hated being who he was. He hated his life. The green eyed man brought a hand inside of his pocket to bring out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. The brand was Camel. The brand his precious Usagi always smoked. Slipping the cancerous stick between his lips, Misaki lighted his cigarette, before inhaling the smoke inside of his lungs. The taste brought tears into his eyes. He knew smoking was bad. He himself always pestered Akihiko to quit.

He really knew smoking was bad. But the reason he smoked was by far worse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Dun, dun, dun~~! Guess you did it! I did, HA!   
> I bet you were thinking that I wouldn't be posting until next week, right? Well, let me tell you that the plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone and I just had to write this down. I admit though, that this chapter was a whole deal harder to write. But considering the heartbreaks in the last chapter, I believed it was only natural to make it up to you guys with some action. I even made the chapter longer than intended! Go me! *jumps around happily* 
> 
> The part about magic… Yeah… I wasn't going to make this a Fantasy fanfic but I couldn't come up with a solution to regaining their scars and tattoos! God, I am really thankful I had this idea; otherwise I don't know what I would've done. Once again, I want to thank each and every one of you silent readers that wait patiently for my chapters. I can't say how happy it makes me to see all your views! *hugs* Though I, of course, appreciate reviews as well, as I always look forward to improving my writing skills. I've only started writing seriously in August, so I have a long way to go. PS: The song the band is playing is Impossible by Anberlin. 
> 
> INFO:  
>  * Amanita muscaria is commonly known as the fly agaric or fly amanita, is a mushroom and psychoactive basidiomycete fungus, one of many in the genus Amanita. While it is known as poisonous, scientists have reported that there cases of death from its ingestion are extremely rare. And did you know that if prepared properly, this kind of mushroom can be eaten? Just so you guys know, in my story, this kind of mushroom will be poisonous, so please bear with me? 
> 
> * Apep or Apophis was the Egyptian god who embodied chaos and was thus the opponent of light and Ma'at (god or order and truth). He was depicted as a giant serpent. And some said he was even crueler than Set. 
> 
> * The Z and the S go for Zen and Sakura. *grins* Don't you just love me? 
> 
> * Asuka comes from Japanese 明日 (asu) "tomorrow" and 香 (ka) "smell, perfume", or from 飛 (asu) "to fly" and 鳥 (ka) "bird". 
> 
> Until next time, Fel.


	5. Smoke and Mirrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of bros being bros and talking about getting out of shitty business, wigs and sewerage systems, past-agressive homos, daddies comming to the rescue and dangerous women. :>  
> Enjoy!

**Chapter 5**

_"The most confused we ever get is when we try to convince our hearts of something our heads know is a lie. – Karen Moning_

* * *

 

**Smoke and Mirrors**

Akihiko was aware of a few things that chilly night at the curious hour of 2AM. He was aware of the rain outside and the generous raindrops batting mercilessly at his windows. He noticed that other than the soft creaks of the sofas and the ticking clock resting on his wall, the penthouse was silent, filled with tension and anticipation.

He started thinking that the penthouse was a symbol for his own psyche. His home was nowhere near the warm and happy place he and Misaki had created together. It wasn't clean. It wasn't peaceful. It wasn't the sanctuary he'd run to at the end of every day. Not at all. It was cold and dirty and… a pathetic excuse of the home it used to be in the past. Just like the fire sparkling and warming each and every happy and content home, Misaki had been the thing that had ignited the lifestyle Akihiko craved since childhood. And now that fire was gone, leaving him as cold as the winter breeze outside.

The noisy doorbell awoke the silver haired man from his misery, as he darted to the door immediately. Opening up the door, Akihiko's lavender eyes met the stiff and hollow figure of Takahiro Takahashi. Nowhere in sight were his signature gentle eyes and soft smiles. Instead, the silver head was rewarded with a hard, yet tired and pained pair of light grey eyes, a straight line gracing his friend's lips.

"I'm sorry for bothering you at this damned hour, Usagi." Takahiro spoke tiredly, as he pushed by him gently before he made his way to the red sofa, leaving Akihiko dumbfounded.

" _Did he just… swear?!_ " He asked himself.

"Don't worry about it. You know you're welcome any time." He found himself say instead. Walking towards his old friend, he hesitated before he asked. "Tea?"

Takahiro raised his gaze from the floor before he waved his hand. "There's no need."

Akihiko almost sighed in relief. Only God and Aikawa knew how rough these five months have been in the kitchen. He wasn't fooling anyone. He was a lost cause in the kitchen and he wasn't eager to prove that to anyone, especially Takahiro. Sitting on the sofa, in front of the dark haired man, Akihiko opened his mouth to ask the question that bugged his brain for hours, but Takahiro beat him to it.

"I assume you've seem the news?" He asked quietly, joining his hands in a tight grip as looked the lavender eyed man intensely.

"I did. Did you-" He was cut off once again.

"See Misaki…? I did." Takahiro said before sighing and leaning his head backwards into the sofa. "I am mostly certain that he was the one to finish that business man. Nonetheless, I don't believe he is the one who started the fire. Even for him… it's too much." He continued while biting his lower lip softly. "I guess that in the end I'll go to Phantom after all." He muttered.

Akihiko's eyes widened. "Wait, what?! Takahiro, you saw what they've done to me! Who knows what in the hell they'll do to you when they realize you have the power to influence Misaki's actions and judgment?" He countered fiercely. He knew that by doing this, Takahiro would most likely hurt both himself and Misaki. "There… There must be another way. I… I just have to find it first." Akihiko said bitterly as he sank his face into his hands.

Takahiro lips curled into a small, sad smile. "I see… I guess that's what Misaki loves so much about you..." The dark haired man spoke bluntly, causing Akihiko's head to snap back in attention, with shock painting his features.

"How…?" Akihiko tried to ask but failed to voice out any more words.

"I've been suspecting for a while now… Especially after Misaki's 19th birthday." Takahiro's brows bent downwards creating a little frown of annoyance. "It's only been confirmed by Misaki five months ago… Imagine my reaction." Takahiro huffed with irritation.

"What did you do?" Akihiko frowned as different scenarios played through his mind. "What is your answer, Takahiro?"

Takahiro looked him dead in the eye before her sighed. "I was mad. How could I not be?" He asked exasperatedly. "I wanted Misaki to move on from the horrors he's experienced in the past, to start his own life, to make a happy family of his own. And then he just had to bring it up to me that he was gay." Takahiro massaged his temples, as Akihiko chose to remain silent, looking disapprovingly at his friend.

"Don't look at me like that, Usagi. I know what you're thinking but I didn't do anything to my baby brother." The ebony haired man said under his breath. "Sure, I was disappointed in his choice, but… I want him to be happy. God knows he deserves that so very much. How could I take the source of his happiness away, Usagi?" He looked at the violet eyed man pleadingly.

"You wouldn't… He's the only family you've got left. Just as you are his. He might not really show it, but he loves you very much, Takahiro. And your opinion is very valuable to him. It had always been." Akihiko tried his best to cheer his dearest friend.

Takahiro sighed. "Thanks Usagi. I know that." He brought a hand to his forehead in an attempt to stop the throbbing pain in his skull.

And then there was silence. None of the men dared to mutter another word as they both drowned into their own dark thoughts. What else was there to say? No matter how much they tried to repel the image of a cold blooded Misaki, of merciless forest green orbs and of unshaking hands holding a gun, they both knew that their Misaki was only a face out of another thousand they didn't know. Just like the moon, a part of the youth's true identity would always remain hidden from their eyes.

A soft knock on the door snapped the two men out of their daze, before Akihiko moved towards the door to allow the new guest inside his sanctuary. Lavender eyes reflected the urgency and the bitter-sweetness inside the man's dark gray eyes.

"Brother." Akihiko greeted with a new found politeness. If his past self could see him now, he would've probably burnt a hole in the center of his forehead. It was strange, but Akihiko was grateful for Haruhiko's support so far. They both used their family's influence to find out more about Phantom's underworld business, in hope that they would find the slightest evidence to bring the organization down. But so far, they had nothing. And Akihiko feared that they might never actually find something to corner Phantom with.

"Akihiko." Haruhiko greeted back, his voice confident and unwavering, with a soft tinge of tiredness in it. "Takahashi-san." He tuned his face towards the awaiting dark haired man seated on the sofa. "Thank you for allowing me to take part in this meeting." The eldest of the Usami brothers spoke with gratitude.

"No. I should be thanking you for all of your help so far." Takahiro smiled kindly, bowing his head slightly.

"Want tea?" Akihiko asked his older brother. " _Say no. Say no. Say no._ " The silver head chanted in his mind. Haruhiko stared at the amethyst eyed man and raised a dark brown brow when he sensed the conflict in his younger brother. They had been living with each other as children after all. He barely held himself from snorting before he took pity on him and shook his head.

As soon as they were seated on the red sofa, Takahiro's smile faded into a tight line.

"I've sent Manami and Mahiro to Osaka. They'll be safer there." The eldest Takahashi spoke tiredly. "Therefore, I can officially announce my participation at Phantom's headquarters anytime."

Both of the Usami brothers shook with impatience. They both felt that they had to make sure that Misaki was alright with their own eyes and yet, Akihiko knew that the Misaki he'll sooner or later meet in the halls of the hellish organization wouldn't resemble his lover.

" _It doesn't matter." He told himself. "Misaki had been there for me when I needed him. He made me see everything differently. He saved me from myself. It's my turn to save him now. At all costs._ "

"You need to know something first..." Takahiro said reluctantly. "You mustn't give the slightest impression that you know him." He gulped and he bit his lower lip. "He'll be given drugs to forget everything if you get caught… Just like..." The black haired man clenched his hands into fists as he struggled to continue, trying his best to prevent any tears from falling. "Just like… the day they took Misaki away from me all these years ago."

"I... I can take you with me. But you _must_ promise you will _not_ do anything that would in the end bring harm to Misaki. Especially _you_ , Usagi." Takahiro raised his light silver eyes to burn inside lavender orbs. "Swear to me." His croaked voice created a powerful conflict inside Akihiko's chest.

Of course he'd want to touch Misaki the moment he'd see him. How he longed to kiss the brunette's soft lips, how he missed his lean body's warmth under his sheets. He was just like a thirsty man, wandering in a lifeless desert in hope he'd find an oasis to save himself. Bowing his head in defeat, Akihiko vowed to Takahiro that he would stay away from his lover. But little did Takahiro and Haruhiko know that the silver haired man would do anything in his power to find a private moment with his love. Akihiko would do whatever he could. That was certain.

* * *

 

Human life is so precious. So fragile. It only takes so little to rob someone of their life. Like a simple twist of their head. A slight cut on their throats. A multiple fracture on one's skeleton. Blood loss. The incapacity of a human being to breathe underwater. Or to resist the licks of flames on their skin for too long. And even the slightest scratch on a vital organ. But it was the truth. Human lives were just as easy to wipe away just as it was simple to create them. However, death was a normal step in everybody's life. Just like Homer used to say in The Iliad*, as is the generation of leaves, so is that of humanity. The wind scatters the leaves on the ground, but the live timber burgeons with leaves again in the season of spring returning. So one generation of men will grow while another dies.

" _And what a pathetic way to die._ " A certain peridot eyed male thought to himself as he watched blankly how his victim drowned in his own blood, helplessly pressing his hands against the deep wound of his recently slit throat. His prey's wide, teary eyes burned into his own like salt on a wound, and Ritsu knew that night he'd be fighting another merciless wave of nightmares. Still, Phantom's Rook made sure that the other than his impassive and collected features, the dying man lied in front of him would not see any hint of shame and guilt.

With a final sigh, the CEO of a well-known pharmaceutical industry as well as a famous importer of illegal drugs of the Black Market in Tokyo, slipped into the awaiting arms of Shinigami*. Ritsu's eyes scanned the CEO's dark office room before he spotted a crouched, trembling little figure under the desk. He figured that'd be the dead man's secretary. Switching the light back on, Ritsu couldn't help but notice how the older woman flinched as she pressed a hand to her mouth in a poor attempt to keep her crying quiet. With a sigh, the Rook moved closer to the terrified woman before he crouched to her level, earning another startled look from her. Sighing yet again, he placed his hands on her shoulders before she flinched at the contact.

"Look, I'm not here to kill you. My job here is done." He reasoned out, in hope that it might help calm the secretary down.Dead wrong. If it was possible, she started crying even louder than before, her eyes becoming wide with fear at the sight of the lying corpse just a few feet away. " _Why am I even trying to calm her down? Her reaction is natural. She just saw how I slit her boss' throat._ " Ritsu thought to himself shamefully.

"Hey, let's make a deal." He offered and he almost sighed in relief when he saw the shaking woman looking at him questionably. "If I let you go unharmed, in return I only want you to stay here without announcing anyone of my presence. Deal?" He moved his gloved hand towards her, awaiting her decision patiently.

With a choked sob, the woman's sweaty hand clasped his own as they made their agreement. "Thank you. I'm sorry you had to witness this." Ritsu said sincerely, before he got up and left the office.

Ritsu was suddenly grateful to Sekhmet and Set for urging him to wear a wig, different colored contact lens when he passed by the surveillance cameras and the guards ever so casually, even though the damned wig was starting to make his scalp itch unbearably. " _Just a little bit more and I'm out._ " He reassured himself as he already saw the exit, barely stopping his hands from scratching his head. However, just as the he was about to step out of the building, the alarms went off and Ritsu swore before he broke into a run with a pack of guards behind him.

" _That's what you get when you suddenly decide to show mercy to random strangers, especially to someone who saw how you killed your target!_ " His conscience spat at him, but Ritsu paid no second thought as he ran from the fully lit main street into the cover of a dark alley. Snatching the wig off his head, the green eyed man tossed it into his bag.

He really did want to take off the contacts considering that his eyes were all watery but he figured that it would be too much of a bother and he had better things to do, like finding a way to escape undetected? His hands touched the soft material of his knitted, bright green scarf. He knew he should take it off as it stood out too much. But Ritsu also knew that Sekhmet put her everything into knitting it. He remembered her genuine smile when she's given all of her companions, including the King, a different colored scarf, under the pretext that Christmas was coming soon and by that time, they'll all be too busy doing… dreadful, _unspeakable_ stuff.

" _Promise me you'll always wear it when it's cold. No matter what._ " Sekhmet's voice echoed in his head.

With a fond groan, Ritsu wrapped the scarf tighter around his neck as he broke into a jog further down the shady alley.

"I see him!" Ritsu heard a guard yell behind him before he felt how a bullet grazed his left upper arm."Shit!" The chestnut haired man swore in pain as he clasped a hand over his weeping wound before he reached another main, empty street. With a pained wince, Ritsu made a life-saving decision, preparing himself for the dread he was about to support.

In a matter of seconds, four guards inspected the street furiously, swearing when they found no clue on the murderer's whereabouts. "Something's fishy here…" One guard said. "I feel like we're missing something…" He continued as he itched to kill the bastard who murdered his boss.

"Hey, I think he went this way!" Another guard a few meters away yelled as he pointed to a pair of boot tracks in the mud inside another dark alley.

Hearing grunts of agreement and afterwards all the four pairs of footsteps fade into the distance, Ritsu let out a shaky breath, finally allowing his tensioned muscles to relax. " _That was too close._ " He agreed as steam made his skin sweat. A wave of nausea washed over him the moment he inhaled the foul air, but being the prideful man he was, Ritsu forced his bile down before he climbed down the iron ladder, lower into the underground sewerage system.

As soon as he reached the lower floor, Ritsu fought another wave of nausea at the disgusting smell of human excrements, rotten leftovers and mould, before he finally lost the awful battle against his stomach. The green eyed man fell on his knees and in a pitiful way, he started vomiting all of his stomach's contents multiple times, until there was nothing left for him to puke. Ritsu then shakily wiped his mouth and blew his nose into a clean tissue, while he also tried to wash away the bitter taste of bile from his tongue by swallowing repeatedly.

Having finally gotten used to the smell, the peridot eyed man slumped on the floor, as he proceeded to take care of his bleeding wound. " _Shit it's deep._ "He concluded as he examined his arm. Taking the first aid kit out of his bag, he took his jacket off before he wrapped his wound tightly. " _That'll have to do for now._ " Ritsu thought tiredly.

He was truly annoyed. Back in his days as an assassin, he never grew tired out of something so…insignificant as foul smell and blood loss. But these were other times, he tried to console his weeping pride. Having lost enough blood on his way down there and having vomited his entire dinner just a while ago, Ritsu felt dizzy and light-headed, with a growing headache. Taking the radio transmitter from his pocket, Ritsu switched it on before he breathed deeply into his scarf as he called someone he disliked greatly.

"Apep, do you copy?" He asked, gathering the coldest voice he could muster. When he couldn't hear anything but disturbing buzzing, he frowned both in concern and in annoyance. "Apep?" He tried again, adding a slight bite to his voice in the process, while he moved further into the sewerage system.

" _Yeah, yeah. I'm here_." An amused voice made itself known on Ritsu's transmitter.

"What the hell took you so long?" The chestnut haired assassin asked displeased, barely hiding the relief he felt when the all mighty King responded to his calls.

" _Oh well, if you really want to know, I was with this gorgeous ginger chick in a love hotel after we've had some drinks, and things got_ really _crazy when the other chick showed up. The brunette had this amazing trick with her tongue and the ginger was-_ "

"I don't care for details! Come and pick me now at the coordinates I'll send you. Got it?" Ritsu snapped furiously, while he also felt how his cheeks reddened in embarrassment when his mind played unholy scenes of a gangbang. The brunette shook his head quickly before he banished the dirty thoughts that were stressing his mind out.

" _Yes, yes, rookie._ " Apep replied smugly and Ritsu could hear that signature smirk of his through his voice.

"Don't call me rookie, you dumbass!" He barked angrily before he let a tired sigh. "Just…Just be there. Out." Ritsu told him quietly before he switched his radio back off.

For a good 15 minutes, the chestnut haired man walked towards the end of the sewerage system, using the GPS device as a coordinator. Seeing the iron ladder at the end of the system, Ritsu started to climb upwards, wincing when the muscles of his left arm began to strain painfully, making his wound weep a whole deal lot. The moment he pushed into the iron lid forcefully, Ritsu was hit by chilly and clear winter air and the man breathed greedily before his eyes remained stuck on the lean, yet muscular frame of a tall man seated on a charismatic motorcycle.

The peridot eyed male took in all the details. From the shaggy, blond hair falling playfully around his gorgeous, pale face, to the amused honey filled orbs and to the casual outfit of his trench coat, dark pair of jeans and sneakers he was wearing. A small smile graced Ritsu's lips despite his efforts to keep his face straight, when he noticed the bright yellow scarf Sekhmet has given him, wrapped loosely around his collarbone.

"I thought you weren't going to wear it?" The Rook asked playfully, as he rose up to his feet before he placed the iron lid back in its rightful place.

"Yeah, well… It isn't the best color she picked for me… But she's Sekhmet. You can't deny her anything." The King flushed in embarrassment as he pinched the bridge of his nose. And he was right. Sekhmet was like their little sister. Just like a princess, all other four pawns did anything in their power to pamper her. God knew she deserved it. "I guess we'll need to stop by the infirmary first after all." The blond stated when he saw the way the younger man was holding his arm.

"Yeah…" Ritsu replied as he got up on the motorcycle behind the other man, before he wrapped his arms around his waist as Apep started the engine. "God, you reek of piss and shit!" Apep exclaimed in disgust but his voice was nowhere near the cruel one Ritsu remembered from six years ago. "Oh well, that's hardly your fault, but I would've been more grateful if you had chosen another hiding spot." He continued to mumble under his breath as he rode his motorcycle out of Tokyo's periphery, shocking Ritsu with his attitude. "You know, I actually tried convincing Boss to send you to kill Kurosawa another day, since he's already sent Horus to take care of Komatsu earlier this evening, but he wouldn't listen. Sorry, I should have fought harder against him."

Apep related when he suddenly noticed Ritsu's quietness. "Hey, you okay?" The King asked in genuine concern, as he took a peek through his rear-view mirror at the brunette behind him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ritsu snapped out of his shocked daze. "I was just… amazed about how much you've changed over the course of these six years…" He explained.

"Ah, that." Apep chuckled softly as his eyes softened when a sudden thought crossed his mind. "Things happened. And I had to change. We all had to." He stated as he rode the motorcycle out of Tokyo's central district. "That's what I've been trying to tell both you and Horus, but you guys kept on avoiding me all these five months so…" Apep smirked when he saw Ritsu flush in embarrassment through his mirror.

"You can't judge either of us, Apep. Not after our history together." Ritsu frowned distastefully as he remembered the worst part of his entire life. "I know. And for that I am sorry. I hope you can understand that I was only a sadistic teenager who was always high on drugs the week we've had our sessions." Apep tried to reason out but he knew how reluctant Ritsu could be. The brunette hardly ever trusted anyone in the first place and if anyone betrayed him, well… there wasn't a guarantee he was going to be forgiven.

Apep swore. He had never been good with words. Especially to the level the bookworm behind him would've liked. "And if you have to know, I had to choose between amputating your legs or the shock treatment. Boss considered that you were no longer of use considering... the kid was still alive and kicking." He decided on telling instead and Ritsu wrapped his arms tighter around him. "I'm really sorry for how it turned out. Forgive me?" He added a sugar coated tint to his voice in hope it might make the brunette feel a little better.

"I'll… I'll think about it." Ritsu said tiredly as water and electricity flashed behind his closed eyelids. He remembered the face of a young blue eyed boy smiling genuinely before he bit his lip and shoved that memory deep inside his brain.

"Thank you." Apep expressed his gratitude, as he brought a hand to quickly give Ritsu's hands a tender squeeze.

The rest of their ride was done in complete silence, and Ritsu wondered how it wasn't snowing yet in Tokyo as it was so damn cold. He suddenly realized that it was already dawn when he saw the faint tinge of red and pink painting the horizon. He then remembered that there were a few days until the date of 24th December and a wave of loneliness washed over him when amber eyes flashed into his mind.

" _This sucks._ " Ritsu's conscience replied in a corner of his mind and he completely agreed. After all, if there was anyone guilty about how things evolved the past year, it was all him.

* * *

 

On the other side of Tokyo, in a certain 1201 apartment, Takano Masamune went over some drafts at the awful hour of 6 AM. Since Ritsu's departure, Masamune buried himself in work, not allowing himself a moment to think of the brunette. His heart shattered into a million pieces when he woke up that morning into an empty apartment.He was so damn broken he didn't even notice the envelope in his lap. Not that it mattered because the moment he was done weeping, rage quickly took over and the next moment found him burning the envelope to ashes. He swore to the olive eyed man that if he'd walk away from him, Masamune wouldn't forgive him. And if Masamune was anything, then he was a man that kept his word.

But the loneliness, the pain, the love he had been carrying for Ritsu was still there, no matter how much he tried to cover it up at work with his fits of anger and bullying. No matter how much he tried to deny it in front of Yokozawa. No matter how much he tried to skip sleeping just so he wouldn't dream of the beautiful, the innocent moments he shared with him. But God, he was growing more insane by the day and he wondered for how many days he could keep this up. A part of him wanted to die and forget everything about the suffering he was enduring, but another part of him earned to run and search every corner of this damn Earth for Ritsu.

An angry knock on his door made him swear in annoyance as he threw the drafts on his table, before he headed for the door. The moment he opened the door, preparing himself to spat angrily at the unwanted visitor for disturbing him at that hour, Masamune suddenly felt how annoyance was drowned by a new found rage when his eyes met the hazel ones of An Koshinata.

"What do you want?" He growled angrily at the petite girl. "What the hell gives you people the excuse of disturbing me at this hour?" Masamune yelled at the top of his lugs, not caring if you woke his nearby neighbors, when he noticed a middle aged man behind her. The tall man frowned with annoyance at the youth's rudeness, before jade green eyes burned into Masamune's amber ones.

"Young man, please mind your tongue." He warned lightly. "I would've thought my son would've chosen a more… respectful person than you are." He replied icily, as he scanned the dark haired man from head to toe.

"You're mistaken, Oji-san*. Takano-san is more than a respectful and kind man-" An argued weakly, before she was interrupted by the middle aged man's hand on her shoulder.

"Listen to me closely, _Takano-san_ , for I am going to say this only once." The man said deadly serious as he took advantage of Masamune's shock. "I'd like to take you with me to see Ritsu. Do you agree?" He asked softly as he awaited the dark haired man's response.

A new flash of anger sparked inside of him before he raised his voice once again. "After he left me, not one but twice, do you seriously expect me to chase after him again?" The amber eyed man argued, before a small hand slapped his left cheek powerfully. An brought her hands up to grab into Masamune's shirt before she yanked him closer to her face.

"Listen up, you bastard." An said in a dangerous low voice. "I don't care if you don't want any part in this but Rittie… _loves_ you." She continued between her panting breaths. "And because I _love_ him, I will do everything to make him happy!" She started to scream hysterically as she shook Masamune harder. "And so God help me, if you _dare_ to refuse me a second time, I'll drag you out in the car myself!" She finished as tears started to flow down her flushed cheeks.

The older Onodera placed a hand on An's shoulder and squeezed reassuringly, while he gave Takano a disapproving glare. With a sigh, Masamune stepped aside and let the man and girl step inside of his apartment before he closed the door, not having the slightest idea of what fate had in store for him. He figured that sometimes the road of life takes unexpected turns and people have no choice but to follow it. And that was precisely what he was going to do. That was understandable. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm truly sorry for this chapter. I am aware it sucks. I just felt that this chapter had to be done like this, even though I'm far from being satisfied with it. I hope Ritsu's little trip made the chapter bearable. I promise I'll make it up to you with chapters 6, 7 and 8!. I swear, the next chapie is going to leave shocked. Or so I hope.
> 
> I hope the discussion with Takahiro at the beginning was as close as possible to the way you've imagined it. Well, at least that's what I imagined, because I thought Takahiro wasn't that blind, but hey, I've read the manga and guess what, he is!  
> And I love Haruhiko. <3 That's precisely why I'm trying to build from scratch his relationship with Akihiko, because I believe that if it weren't for the circumstances they grew up with, they would've been best bros. Or that's what I want to believe at least…
> 
> The thing with the sewerage system… yeah, I don't have a thing for them, even if this is the second time I'm mentioning it. It's just that I've always seen in movies how heroes evade their enemies into the sewerage system and it always annoys the hell out of me when they aren't disturbed in the slightest by the smell. I wanted to highlight in this chapter that even if he's an assassin, Ritsu is still human and has his own limits.
> 
> And about the last sequence… I hope you were as eager and amused as I was when I wrote it. I personally love An's character because she seems like a genuine and devoted girl that would do anything for Ritsu, including letting him go to be happy with Takano. U.U
> 
> INFO:
> 
> * The Iliad - is an ancient Greek epic poem in dactylic hexameter, traditionally attributed to Homer. Set during the Trojan War, the ten-year siege of the city of Troy (Ilium) by a coalition of Greek states, it tells of the battles and events during the weeks of a quarrel between King Agamemnon and the warrior Achilles.
> 
> * Shinigami - are gods or supernatural spirits that invite humans toward death, and can be seen to be present in certain aspects of Japanese religion and culture.
> 
> * Oji-san – Uncle in Japanese.
> 
> PS: This is the longest chapter I've ever written in my life. I'm so shocked. O.O
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Fel


	6. Snowdrops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of stories, Christmas trees, Riddles and Sorrow

**Chapter 6**

_"One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered." ― Michael J. Fox_

* * *

 

**Snowdrops**

_Once upon a time there was a majestic king, who lived with his noble brother in a colorful kingdom where music and art were celebrated. However, neither music nor art could soothe the king's loneliness and sadness. Not even the rarest of jewels and gold could revive his once happy self. But one faithful day, a beautiful magical fairy arrived at his court, charming everyone's gaze with its beauty and refreshing allure. And so everything changed._

_One night, the good fairy visited the king's chambers, in an attempt to cure him of his loneliness, giving him the spark he needed to continue his blossoming reign. The king did not foresee having a child, but he ruled a land where all things were possible. In time, he was blessed with a beautiful baby daughter, for whom he wished only peace and happiness. Still, after a terrible fight, the king banished the beautiful fairy far, far away in the darkest corners of his lands, where evil beings roamed in search of vengeance. Soon, the fairy's kindness and light turned to ash, being replaced with an unspeakable hatred and desire to punish the king for his mistakes. Blessing the demons in the shadows with her unearthly magic, the evil fairy crumbled the magical barriers that kept them away from the rest of the kingdom._

_And so, the king soon had demons that pursued the mighty king, inflicting pain and misery on his innocent people. There was a ruthless beast that wanted the kingdom for his own, armed with a pack of untamed creatures, vowing to avenge the fairy's sorrow of having been robbed of her little one. The beast mercilessly drove all the magical creatures from the land, cornering the king in his palace with nowhere to escape. And there was an evil sorceress, with enchanted stones that weakened the king with every full moon, not giving him the chance to stand his ground and fight the sinful demons off his land._

_Seeing the shadow that his enemies cast upon his home, the king was driven to send his beloved princess away, convincing all of his faithful servants and his terrible enemies that she was forever lost. The king, lost in his sorrow, turned away from the world. The palace closed its doors and the kingdom fell. Some say that the only light that shines in the palace illuminates the shadow of the once mighty king in the room meant for his child. But as the ruthless beasts took rule over the fallen king's realm, little did they know that he and his noble brother would not rest until their enemies were vanquished. For they believed that one day, they would heal their broken kingdom and bring their princess home, so that she might live happily ever after._

* * *

 

Every Christmas Eve, Apep would always stand by the fireplace telling the other 4 pawns the same old tale. It was something about that story that drew them into the very core of it. Its true meaning. Perhaps it was the sorrow they were left with after the story was told. Maybe it was its tragedy, a tragedy all of them knew perhaps too well. Or maybe… just maybe, it was how much they compared themselves to the tragic heroine. They'd spend the night by the fireplace, on the soft material of the carpets, drinking mulled wine laced with the pleasant taste of oranges and the soothing tint of cinnamon, pretending that they were just a bunch of young adults hanging out like people usually did. They would stay in the dark of their home for hours, showered in the soft, golden light of their Christmas installations hanging around the thick branches of their tall and proud Christmas tree in the middle of the living room.

While Misaki, Ritsu and Set were following Shintoism, Apep and Sekhmet belonged to Christianity. It had always been obvious that they weren't Asian. Misaki remembered that when the two of them had been brought to Phantom's quarters for the first time, neither Apep nor Sekhmet spoke Japanese. Both of them had a thick accent while speaking Japanese as teenagers, but as they stepped into their adulthood, the accent started to wear off, dissolving into a friendly reminder of their origins. Apep knew he was born somewhere around England, Scotland or Ireland. His accent was proof. He tried visiting as many places around those countries as he could, but no place ringed a bell. Sekhmet had a more difficult situation. Her accent obviously hinted to a Slavic language, but other than that they had no idea. Sekhmet began studying various cooking book and blogs, in hope that some traditional plates might make her remember something. But so far she had nothing. No hint. No clue. Just the reminder that she belonged to Slavic lands.

In the present, only Misaki and Ritsu were aware of their past. Of their roots to their individual families. Of their names, always reminding them that they weren't born killers. Their true names were a symbol of their true strength, a power the Heads of Phantom feared above anything else. All of the five pawns knew that. Otherwise, the boss would have never hid their names inside of his locked desk drawers. It would have never given the Boss that much power over them.

Misaki had been tense with caution and fear for a while now. If all of these were indeed true, then what was stopping the Puppeteer from erasing both of his and Ritsu's past six years? Why hadn't he drugged them the moment they stepped into Phantom's halls? He knew better than anyone that even if Takahiro were to join all of Phantom's activities, if his memories were altered then his presence would mean nothing. Takahiro Takahashi would be nothing more than another faceless figure in the crowd surrounding the five pawns, mocking them, earning for their bodies, their eyes glinting maliciously whenever they had to fight for their lives.

" _I don't even know anymore._ " Misaki thought to himself as caressed one of the branches of the Christmas tree, eyeing the glitter of the tinsel and the playful light installation clothing the fir tree.

"I wonder where Apep and Ritsu are…" The azure eyed woman said quietly, staring at the flames burning all high and mighty in the fireplace. Sparing a glance towards the ebony haired woman in a yoga sitting position in front of the fireplace, Set's eyes went back on the paragraph he's been trying to read for the last fifteen minutes, however it wasn't long until the orange eyed man groaned in annoyance.

"I overheard Apep saying that he's got a guy to play with in the basements and Thoth* said something about setting another guy up with some illegal drugs." Set responded, before trying to read the book again on the armchair he was crouched on. He knew how bad the following night would be and the mere thought of it made him feel heavy with disgust.

"Tsk… That bastard. And here I was hoping that he'd send us to do his dirty works today too. But it makes sense that he let us rot in here, considering tonight is-" Sekhmet said angrily before she was cut off by the brunette behind her.

"It's not like he hasn't done it before." Misaki sighed with a feeling of annoyance of his own. And from that moment on, no one dared to mutter another word.

Sekhment moved on the couch and turned on the TV before she watched it closely, while Misaki did what he knew best, namely cleaning. All of them seemed so calm and yet the tension in their bones was obvious to careful eyes. Each of them preoccupied themselves with something in order to escape the plaguing thoughts in their heads. Sekhmet was right. It would have been so much easier if they were sent to do some of the Boss' business, but it would seem that the Head took pleasure from tormenting them. He always did.

As the emerald male moved the swob around and rubbed every inch of the sandstone tiles in the kitchen, Misaki thought for the second time of his older brother. He just had this feeling in his gut. He couldn't quite place his finger on what exactly was he anticipating, but he knew that he'd see Takahiro soon. He just hoped that it wouldn't be tonight. He wouldn't be able to get over the shame if anyone he knew from his anterior life saw him in that pitiable state.

* * *

 

Takano Masamune was _pissed_. The turmoil inside his chest has never been more powerful. Not even in his college years. All of his co-workers noticed. His manga artists noticed. Yokozawa Takafumi noticed. Hell, even Isaka Ryuichiro noticed. But it didn't change anything. They didn't understand. His co-workers' kind words couldn't fix what was broken. Yokozawa's soft reasoning talks couldn't fix him. No amount of alcohol could make him forget. But what pissed him more than anything was what happened a few nights ago.

Akio* Onodera, Ritsu's father, was everything and nothing he had imagined before. He was collected, elegant and cold towards him, and yet Masamune could hear the warmth, the pride and love in the older man's voice, whenever Ritsu's name rolled off his tongue. The amber eyed male recalled how the elder had given him a letter and a phone number, before whisking An away from his door. Masamune looked over the closed envelope several times the morning Onodera-papa has given it away, before he realized it was a copy of the one he had burnt five months ago. A copy of the words his lost lover left behind.

The dark haired editor had felt fear picking at his heart the moment he opened the envelope yesterday evening, but he needed answers. He had been in denial for five damned months, but he knew Ritsu deserved at least the chance to explain his actions. It's just that… nothing could've prepared him for what was written on that piece of paper. Nothing. Masamune knew he ought to call at the number he found inside the envelope, but a nagging feeling kept on bugging him. He had to be cautious. He had no idea whose number was that, but if it was the number Ritsu entrusted to him, then he guessed he could try it. Despite his better judgment, the amber eyed man had texted the number the same night he opened the envelope.

" _Who are you?_ " Masamune had texted that night and the answer came instantly.

" _Did you guess them?_ " Masamune knew that the text was referring to the riddles. Reluctantly, he had texted a shy _No_ , but a mere minute later his buzzed, revealing another message.

" _Then you better get started_."

Takano Masamune felt _guilty_. Masamune always dismissed Ritsu's actions as mere embarrassment outburst. He never thought…not one second he would've thought the chestnut haired male could've been part of something greater. And he still had no idea what. God, wasn't he an idiot? It's never been easy. Waiting that is. He had been waiting for Onodera for ten years, give or take, and just when he thought he had finally won over his heart, Masamune was left empty-handed. He decided that it was his fault after all. He should've read the damned letter when he had the chance to. It would have made things so much easier. He would have understood. Because this time was different from the first time Ritsu had left him in high school. Yes. Because this time, he'd been given a chance, a choice. A choice he had burnt without even acknowledging it. Such a wonderful boyfriend he was.

Takano Masamune was _tired_. He'd been reading the same letter for countless times, without really making out the hidden meaning behind his lover's elegant writing. He knew he was leaving out something important, something priceless, but he couldn't quite grasp what exactly.

" _Damn you and your silly little riddles, Onodera_." The young editor groaned as he laid on his bed, under the soft rays of sunlight, the creamy texture of the letter still warm in his hand. With one last spark of determination, Masamune raised the letter to his visual range before reading the contents slowly, carefully.

 

_Takano-san, I hoped that it wouldn't get to this letter, but if you are indeed reading this, then I assume you've possibly ripped the first letter into tiny pieces of paper. I'm so glad I've come up with the brilliant idea to write a second and give to my father...You're such an idiot. I know what you're thinking. I know that you're **mad**. I know that I've probably broken your heart for the second time around. But trust me when I say this to you. I was presented with a choice. I had to choose between leaving all of the people I care about (yes, that includes a certain demon editor-in-chief, you prick) or watch them die. I wouldn't have any of it. Never again. Otherwise… I would have **never** left. Trust no one but yourself and what you feel it's right. Use your instinct and imagination and you shall succeed. Use the obvious and the internet and you shall loose. _

_I trust you. Good luck._

 

_"A slow, solemn square-dance Of warriors feinting._

_One by one they fall, Warriors fainting,_

_Thirty-two on sixty-four. "_

 

_"A hundred brothers lie next to each other;_

_Each white and fine — they've only one spine._

_I am the tongue that lies between two._

_Remove me to gather their wisdom to you."_

 

_"All shining and silver,_

_With a beautiful face,_

_You look into me,_

_And find this place. "_

 

" _Aged, at ninety, yet healthy and hale,_

_praise be to Moses, my most honored father_

_Seldom I'm called, but more seldom I fail -_

_Silent, I am, till I speak for my master._ " 

 

And that was all. No apologies. No concrete answers. Just these stupid riddles. Masamune figured that those riddles were hinting to something but he was too tired to think. But maybe…. Maybe these riddles were leading him to concrete, real answers. He couldn't back down now of all times. Not now when he was so close!

" _Trust no one and nothing but yourself and what you feel it's right._ "

The second and the third riddle were easy. The second riddle referred to a book mark. He didn't just spend his entire teenage years in the library for nothing. The third however, hinted to a mirror. "Okay, use your imagination Masamune. You can do this shit." The dark haired man encouraged himself.

"Okay… Let's start with the easier parts." He thought to himself as he started to inspect all of the mirrors in his apartment. He took all of them off of his walls and nothing. He tried looking for a funny looking bookmark and still nothing.

"Damnit!" He cursed before he kicked in blind rage at one of his low shelves in his living room, causing a small key to fall defeated at his feet. And that was all Masamune needed to make a light bulb inside his head switch on. He suddenly started laughing, wiping his sweat off his face with the back of his sleeve, before he bent down to pick the key. A key leading to a certain 1202 apartment.

"Of course… The answers are all in his apartment. Masamune, you've been drinking too many drinks for your good." His mind contered annoyed as he pulled a cardigan over himself. "It replaces your brilliant mind with stupidity."

Wasting no more time, Masamune slipped his feet into a pair of flip-flops, before rushing to Onodera's apartment. Now he remembered. Onodera-papa hinted a few times that Ritsu's apartment was now his. He was just too much of an idiot to pay attention and figure it out. Slipping the key into the lock, he turned it two times, before Masamune opened the door easily. The familiar smell of pine from Ritsu's air-conditioner brought nostalgia into his chest.

The clean apartment had nothing to remind him of its past messy self. Well, nothing other than its furniture and dry plants in different pots around the living room. "Okay, let's do this." He spoke to no one in particular, before he ventured further into the apartment, inspecting every single mirror. To his relief, the moment he reached the last mirror in the apartment, the one hanging on Ritsu's bedroom wall, he found a small piece of paper glued with scotch tape on its back.Eagerly unfolding the piece of paper, he started reading the contents three times in a row, before dread filled his stomach again.

 

_"I wear thick and sturdy clothing but I have no body,_

_I support all and nothing but I have no hands,_

_I make different sounds whenever I am touched but I never say a word,_

_I hide the treasure one searches but I have no gold,_

_I lie at one's feet but I will never get up."_

 

For half an hour Masamune has been brainstorming every idea out of his head, but in the end, it led him nowhere. With an angry growl, the editor punched the wall in a poor attempt to calm himself but all was in vain. He was stuck.

* * *

 

"Did Chika-san give you the pills?" Misaki asked Sekhmet, noting how the sun faded into the horizon. " _In an hour… it begins_." He thought to himself as he watched how distressed azure eyes glanced to her hands, where a small package of pills laid.

"Yeah…" The black haired woman answered softly, before she faced the Knight, forcing a smile on her lips. "It's just for tonight. I can handle it, so don't worry so much." Sekhmet tried to assure the younger male, but he was far from being fooled by her words and smiles.

"You and I know better than that. Tonight's going to be rough. Especially for you. You don't have to act all tough and strong with us. We're your family." Set placed a hand on her shoulder before squeezing lightly. He was horrified of the bruises he'd find next morning on her pearly white skin.

"Stop acting like I'll be the only one who'll be bearing this torture!" Sekhmet yelled angrily as she slapped his hand away from her shoulder. "I am not _weak_. If I could handle it all these years ago, then more of this shit coming means _nothing_." She hissed under her breath, but Misaki knew her bark was by far worse than her bite.

"We never said you were weak, Sekhmet." Set sighed tiredly. "We're just saying that you ought to be careful. _Cautious_. Kill everybody who crosses the line." The redhead advised, caringly brushing his fingers against the skin of her cheek, causing her blue eyes to soften.

"You know I always do." She reassured him, sighing in defeat.

"Don't forget to take a pill when you finish-"Misaki tried urging her but she cut his words off with a death glare.

"I know that, okay?" She said exasperatedly. "Seriously, Misaki, you ought to worry more about yourself than any of us." She said lightly, patting his shoulder before walking out of the living room, disappearing into the kitchen.

"I have a bad feeling about this night." Set confessed as he let himself fall on the sofa.

"You've always had a bad feeling on nights like these." Misaki countered lightly, before joining him of the sofa, watching the dancing flames in the fireplace. "

Yeah, I guess you're right." The redhead chuckled sadly, before the slap of their home's door made the two of them snap their heads into attention.

Two pairs familiar of footsteps were heard in the hall of their house. The first was loud and smug, while the second was almost silent and shy. The clattering of the footsteps became louder and louder, before two male figures were revealed by the soft light of the fireplace.

"We aren't late, are we?" Ritsu asked tensely, as he panted, trying desperately to catch his breath.

"Careful, rookie. I might think you are actually eager for tonight." Apep smirked elfishly, before the corner of his jaw was met by an unforgiving punch.

"Owwww! What the fuck do you think you're doing, punk?!" The blond raged furiously as he rubbed at his forming bruise.

"That's for even _daring_ to joke around about this damned issue." Ritsu muttered darkly, before he turned around and walked away. "I'm going to change." The chestnut haired man said before he went upstairs. Apep growled and was prepared of going after him, but strong hands stopped him in his tracks.

"Let it go." Set told to the blond man. "You'd lose the fight anyway." He smirked when he saw the dangerous glint in Apep's furious eyes, before his hands were slapped away from his broad shoulders.

"Tsk, as if I'd waste my time with the likes of him." Apep dismissed the case with an angry sigh, before fading upstairs.

 

Later that evening, the five pawns were standing before the fireplace, waiting. Each and every one of them were dressed formally, all men in black suits and immaculate white shirts, while Sekhmet wore a dark baby doll dress, with a low neck opening, giving away a teasing sight of her cleavage. A guard slipped inside of their living room, before locking a hand around the young woman's arm.

"You are expected. One of the boss' guests has shown earlier just to see you. Aren't you a lucky one?" The guard mocked her, as he let his hungry gaze rape her body. In a split second, the guard was moaning in pain, lying on the floor while holding his head in his hands.

"Fuck you and his guests." She hissed lowly, before kicking the fallen man in the stomach, being careful to hit him right where it hurts most. With a mocking snort, the ebony haired woman turned on her high heels, walking out of the pawns' visual range and out of their home, but Misaki couldn't help but notice the dread in her glistering, teary eyes and the way she was biting her lower lip. And in an instant, he remembered Apep's story.

* * *

 

_Years have passed and flew by, and while the king fought and successfully locked his enemies away, his beloved daughter grew up in a nunnery, hidden from the evil fairy's watchful eyes. Always surrounded by the protection and the kindness of the nuns that raised her, the child grew into a gracious and beautiful 16 year old girl. Her locks were darker than ebony and softer than cashmere, her large doe-like eyes purer than any springs. Her pale face could compete with the moon's visible face, easily earning the envy of fellow young girls the princess met. Her kindness knew no boundaries and her innocence was untainted. Noticing the pure light their loving child was always soaked in, the nuns named her Shirayuri*, for she resembled the white lilies in the spring, both in appearance and in personality._

_But as every human being, the princess' desire to see the world and to discover the origins she came from burned her soul. The nuns never told her of her ancestry and neither did they tell her about the noble man who brought her to their doors on a moonless night in July. In her sadness Shirayuri ran away from the safety of the nunnery. All by herself, the young girl traveled the lands in search of shelter for days with no success, until on the seventh day when a kind old man drove his carriage near her. She asked him if he could take her somewhere safe and the man remained silent for a while, before a smile blossomed on his old face. He asked her if she'd like to be taken to a place where she'd have to keep company to some poor men in exchange for shelter. The naïve princess agreed eager to meet new people and to make new friends._

_As they rode silently, Shirayuri asked about those men in that isolated castle but the only response the old man had given her was that their noble king wiped all the danger from the land and that by doing so, he was forced to make a compromise, which was that he would bring young and kind girls to the castle in order to make the place livelier, every late winter and early spring. The girl simply nodded dumbfounded, already planning on how to present herself to her new friends._

_B_ _ut as soon as they arrived at the dark castle at the most distant corner of the kingdom and the old man left, the kind girl was forcibly taken into a dark room where untamed and sinful creatures did unspeakable things, the terrified little girl forced to endure pain beyond anyone's mind. Shirayuri was in pain both physically and mentally when the guards brought her to a cold cell, below the ground._

_The princess soon realized that she had to escape the terrors hidden in that evil castle and with her remaining strength she pulled the sheets meant to keep her warm around her neck, in hope to meet the endless and peaceful sleep she so earned for. However the man guarding her door had prevented her actions with a startled look in his eyes. The girl began to cry at the man's feet begging him to let her consummate the procedure, but the man only knelled beside her before he pulled her into a warm hug, whispering reassuring words into her ears. In an attempt to distract the young girl from her misery, the young man asked her of her life before she came here._

_She told him about the nunnery she grew up in, about the beautiful forests she'd go to play hide and seek with her friends. She told him about the nighttime stories the sisters told her about a powerful king and his noble brother. The young man soon grew fond of the beautiful girl and he promised her that if she endured 7 days in the castle he'd be able to take her back to the nunnery. A spark of bravery ignited a new fire in Shirayuri and she confessed that she'd try her hardest in honor of his promises._

_But the next day was worse. Shirayuri's petite and frail body was bruised and swollen, bandages hugging almost every inch of her skin. And so the girl cried into her pillow before she pulled her sheets closer to her battered frame. In turn, the kind young man that guarded her cell suffered when he heard her muffled sobs and cries. Compassion blossomed into his being as he once again kneeled before the once bright girl, running a kind hand over her swollen cheek. He told her that the next day he was going to take her out of there and bring her to shelter, where they could live together happily and in peace. The young girl gave him a teary smile before she fell into his chest, muttering her gratitude._

_That faithful day however, there was a terrible blizzard but that didn't stop the young man from trying his best in his plans of escaping with Shirayuri. The moment he entered her cell, his eyes narrowed with pain and worry at the sight of her broken ribs and her bandaged head and body. The princess shivered at the cold and gave him a shaky smile before she limped towards him. The man clothed her frail body with his own coat and scarf, before he took her in his arms and sneaked out of the castle. Setting her feet on the snow coated ground, the man told her to wait there while he fetched a horse._

_But the odds had never been in their favor and soon a loud sound filled the chilly air. The girl's eyes watered and she knew that the man wouldn't be coming to rescue her. But there was a way to save herself. Pulling the scarf heavily soaked in the man's comforting scent tightly around her throat, Shirayuri collapsed in the cold snow as she drifted into an endless sleep, beside a solitary snowdrop._

* * *

 

It was official. He hated winter Holidays. And Misaki had a really good reason behind it. When they were younger, barely slipping into their teen years, no one could phantom the real meaning behind this one story. Not because they were innocent. They were far from being angels with glowing halos. It was their own ignorance that forbade them to see the actual horrors of Apep's story. The tale of a strong king whose recklessness resulted into chaos and tragedy. A king, whose selfishness robbed a mother of her only child. A king, whose compromises led to his own daughter's doom.

In a way, Sekhmet reminded the emerald eyed man of the tragic Shirayuri. Just like the heroine of Apep's story, the azure eyed woman was forced to bear rides to hell and back every Christmas. They all were. However, unlike the heroine, the pawns were far from being weak. They were far from being totally helpless. They were also more than aware of the ways of the world. The Heads made sure of that.

So here lies the question. Why did she continue to bear it? Why didn't she just run away? Why? Once again, it was obvious. Even if she where to run away, where would she go? Who'd take care of a stranger who didn't even know their own name? Then Misaki realized… She's been doing this for so long. She'd been carrying this cross on her back for fourteen years. This is her reality. Her crude and unforgiving reality.

Just like in the Allegory of the Cave*, Misaki feared that if he ever had the chance of taking Sekhmet to see, to experience the kind and forgiving side of the world, she'd turn around and run right back to Phantom's quarters. It pained him seeing her like that. It angered it whenever he saw how shadows darkened her bright, azure eyes with fear and dread.

Misaki hated that he was feeling so powerless. The pawns were the strongest assassins in Japan and yet they were all damaged beyond repair. They were being toyed by the heads of Phantom, forced to destroy everything in sight, forced to give up their own happiness, forced to see every act of kindness as something they had to dodge. They lived without hope, but they would never be allowed to die. The brunette then remembered the promise the five of them made fourteen years ago, just a few months after they've been drugged and robbed of their previous lives.

" _We stick together as one. Always …and forever_." An azure eyed little girl sobbed as she clasped her hands to his 9-year-old self and the 11-year-old self of Ritsu. Misaki remembered how his shy self brought his free hand up to grab Apep's awaiting one, while Set took into his hands both Ritsu's and Apep's free hands.

Another guard appeared from their door, slightly alarmed when he saw the moaning figure of his colleague on the floor. Crouching down to his fallen comrade, the shorter guard glared accusingly at the four men, before fixing his mean gaze on Misaki.

"You're expected. Move your ass out, before I happen to let something slip out of my mouth to the Boss about your insubordination." The guard barked before he picked the bruised man and carried him outside their home, with Misaki following his steps. A heartbreaking conclusion visited Misaki's mind. Each and every one of the five pawns was broken in a whole, different way. They were the embodiment of death. Destroyers of everything good in this world. They were the definition of curse.

_Always and forever._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I said that chapter 5 was the longest chapter I've ever written then I have to tell you that this one is ever larger with at least 1000 words. I know that I told some of you that from this chapter forth everything will be rated Mature, but I've decided to let you wait until next chapter. Trust me, it will be worth it. 
> 
> I hope you liked the riddles. Here's the thing. If you guess the right answer for the last riddle from Ritsu's letter and the riddle found on the back of the mirror (which I've created by myself, mind you. Yes, I know it sucks.) then I'll PM you a spoiler about the 8th chapter.*w*
> 
> I hope that little tale I've written didn't bore you so much. I wanted to try my hand at writing fairytales so when this idea came into my head I just couldn't stop. I was inspired by reading BRADHERLEY NO BASHA a few months ago, which is a dark-themed manga. Here's the synopsis: Every year, Lord Nicola A. Bradherley, one of Europe's leading aristocrats, sends his coach round to various orphanages to adopt little girls and trains them to join his opera troupe. But most of these girls never make it onto the stage — a far more sinister fate awaits them, sacrificed in the name of the greater good. The story is placed somewhere in the Western Europe, in the late 1800's and early 1900's. If you like dark-themed stories, then you should totally check it out. 
> 
> Now on the INFO:  
> * Thoth - as the god of writing and knowledge. The ancient Egyptians believed that Thoth gave them the gift of hieroglyphic writing. Thoth was also connected with the moon. Obviously, Ritsu.
> 
> *Akio - From Japanese 昭 (aki) "bright" combined with 夫 (o) "husband, man", 男 (o) "male" or 雄 (o) "hero, manly".
> 
> *Shirayuri – Means "lily" in Japanese. The lily is the flower most commonly associated with funeral services as they symbolize the innocence that has been restored to the soul of the departed.
> 
> * Allegory of the Cave* - is presented by the Greek philosopher Plato in his work the Republic to compare "the effect of education and the lack of it on our nature". Plato has Socrates describe a gathering of people who have lived chained to the wall of a cave all of their lives, facing a blank wall. The people watch shadows projected on the wall from things passing in front of a fire behind them, and they begin to give names to these shadows. The shadows are as close as the prisoners get to viewing reality. He then explains how the philosopher is like a prisoner who is freed from the cave and comes to understand that the shadows on the wall do not make up reality at all, for he can perceive the true form of reality rather than the mere shadows seen by the prisoners. Socrates remarks that this allegory can be taken with what was said before, namely the analogy of the sun and the analogy of the divided line. In particular, he likens our perception of the world around us "to the habitation in prison, the firelight there to the sunlight here, the ascent and the view of the upper world to the rising of the soul into the world of the mind".
> 
> To my reviewers. Thank you so much for putting up with this story and giving me some of your thoughts on it! I hope you liked this chapter and please brace yourselves for the next one, because seriously, hell is breaking loose. To my silent readers, I've reached up to more than 3000 views which makes me so happy and I really love you guys! Thank you for reading this story! I'll do my damnedest to update as soon as possible! Please leave me your thoughts on this chapter until then. 
> 
> Until next time, Fel~


	7. Weeping Wounds

**Chapter 7**

_"The human race tends to remember the abuses to which it has been subjected rather than the endearments. What's left of kisses? Wounds, however, leave scars." ― Bertolt Brecht_

* * *

 

**AN: What do you mean the rating changed? My fingers just slipped. Beware of violence,rape and depression.**

 

**Weeping wounds**

 

A riddle is a statement, a question or a phrase having a double or veiled meaning, put forth as a puzzle to be solved. Riddles are of two types: enigmas, which are problems generally expressed in metaphorical or allegorical language that require ingenuity and careful thinking for their solution, and conundra, which are questions relying for their effects on punning in either the question or the answer.

Defining riddles precisely is hard and has attracted a fair amount of scholarly debate. One definition famous in Anglophone scholarship is that of Alan Dundes and Robert A. Georges. A riddle is a traditional verbal expression which contains one or more descriptive elements, a pair of which may be in opposition. The referent of the elements is to be guessed. In some traditions and contexts, riddles may overlap with proverbs.

'Nothing hurts it, but it groans all the time' can be deployed as a proverb, when its referent is a hypocrite or as a riddle, when its referent is a pig.

But what Masamune was dealing with was something on a whole different level. The fact that time passed by quickly and having no solutions to the riddles was driving him insane. Not to mention the bugging curiosity of whose cell number was that he had texted some nights ago. Was it Ritsu? Was it his fiancée? His dad?! Frankly, he had no idea. Masamune was certain that he was crazy. How? Well, he just happened to spend his entire Saturday trying to figure out some ridiculous riddles his so-called boyfriend left behind. And for what? He was out of patience. He was pissed.

But the dark haired editor couldn't deny one thing. He missed the peridot eyed man. So much that he was willing to pluck his hairs out of his head in his desperate attempts to find him. To understand the weight of the responsibility, of the choice Ritsu left in his hands. Otherwise, he was back to square one, back to where he had begun ten years ago.

He needed a drink.

_Again._

Right now.

A light bulb switched on in his fuzzy mind and the black haired editor smiled weakly, before grabbing his cellphone. Long fingers typed a certain number quickly, before pressing dial.

" _Why, Masa-kun. This is the best idea you've had all day_!" His conscience exclaimed happily and in a matter of seconds, Masamune's ears were greeted by a familiar grunt.

"What is with you calling at this hour? " Yokozawa fought back weakly, and Masamune heard the distinct sounds of dishes against one another and that of running water.

"Come on, it's only 9 PM. It's not even that late." The editor-in-chief of Emerald chuckled amusedly. "Say, how about we go out for some drinks? My treat." He offered smoothly and he knew that Yokozawa wouldn't refuse him. Not after the salesman tried so hard all these months to get him out of his trance-like state.

"Sure. See you in 30 at the usual place?" Came the immediate response and the black haired man smirked in victory.

"Yeah. See you then." He said impassively before hanging up.

* * *

 

Phantom's surrounding were something he could have never foreseen. Laid beneath the ruins of an old house 15 km from Tokyo, pretty much in the middle of nowhere, Phantom was what a kid nowadays would call an impenetrable fortress.

" _And that it is._ " Akihiko thought with dread, as he waited for the elevator to take the three of them to one of the lowest levels of the grand organization. The ash haired man didn't know if he should be in awe at the revelation or wary about the thought of what terrifying history laid buried beneath that old house. The moment he stepped in the ruins, he felt how a chill crept up his spine. The moment he climbed down to what he supposed it was the remains of the house's basement and got inside the flashy elevator, he was tense with excitement and fear.

" _Misaki is here. He's here._ " He chanted in his mind, the mere thought of finally being close to his lover after so many months apart making his stomach fuzzy with butterflies. However, being the smart man that he was, he schooled his features into one of indifference, one of boredom, not even bothering to scratch his poor and abused scalp under his dark brunette wig. Others would say he was being ridiculous. But he sure as hell wasn't. Why? Ask the bastard that shot him a few months ago. Because Akihiko won't blow this up. Not when he was so close to see even a fraction of the emerald eyed boy's face.

The bell brought the violet eyed man out of his daydream, letting him know they have arrived. The moment the doors have opened, Akihiko drew out a shaky breath, not realizing that he's been holding his breath all this time. Stepping outside the elevator, the trio was met with the stunning view of a large hall that hosted a few other newcomers that were either seated on the elegant red couches, straddles by one or two prostitutes, either seated next to each other having a chat and a smoke. It didn't get him too long to realize something. Not only that it was tricky getting inside, but the chances of escaping Phantom's guards and even the idea of getting out of its maze of passages was almost near impossible without back-up.

"Please enjoy your time here, gentlemen." The guard gave them a fake smile before he took the elevator back up, either to secure the place or to pick up other customers.

Either way Akihiko couldn't care less. Takahiro cleared his throat when he felt the curious stares of the men and women in the hall, before he turned to the Usami brothers laughing nervously.

"Uhm, so if I remember right from what Chika-san has told me…If we go straight down this corridor," he said pointing to the large corridor awaiting for them ahead, "then we should be at the lounge in no time." With an affirmative nod, Haruhiko has been the first to make a step forward, carrying himself with the grace of a nobleman, being followed shortly by his little brother and his best friend. The lounge was spacious and even though the décor was elegant, the vibe there was still relaxing and pleasant. Akihiko had to admit that this place was exquisite.

From its dimly lit, almost golden aura to some of its sleek design elements, like the Spanish-imported stone tabletops and antique mirrors, the novelist quickly understood that this was a place designed for the richest men and women in the world. From what the silver haired man had understood from Takahiro, in the early part of the evening, one may sit wherever they want - in the leather couches or at the brass high-top tables - but as the evening wears on, much of the seating was reserved for bottle service.

Thankfully, the night was still young and the trio reserved a table near the exit, not too far away from the stage where a band of jazz was singing the sweetest of songs. As soon as they were seated, a kind looking waitress poured each one of them some of their most exquisite red wine, before she carried herself back to the bar counter.

"So now what?" Akihiko asked with a poorly concealed impatience. Haruhiko raised a brow at his youngest sibling before sipping some of his wine. "Now we observe." The eldest said before sparing a glance to the crowd of men and women seated to the table right beside them.

"And hopefully, we'll get some information regarding our situation." Takahiro sighed as he massaged his temples. "Either way, there is no way we're going to see Misaki if we'll stay here all night." He murmured with a poorly concealed irritation, his words spoken loud enough for the two brothers to hear him.

Suddenly, a drunken man fell in Haruhiko's lap, singing happily alongside with singer's flawless jazz. The wine bottle the middle aged man was carrying has already found its doom on the floor under the form of tiny shards of glass and spilled redness. Giving an exasperated sigh at the conclusion that no one in that lounge was going to help the man get off him, moreover help him to the bathroom, Haruhiko hooked an arm under the dizzy man's armpit before raising both of them up.

"I'll help this gentleman to the bathroom. Now if you'll excuse me…"He excused himself before hooking the man's arm around his shoulders as he headed to the nearby bathroom. Takahiro chuckled sincerely as he followed Haruhiko's form in the crowd before disappearing round the corner of a wall.

"Has he always been that unnecessarily polite?"

* * *

 

Ritsu had only made love with one person only. Just one person. And that was Takano Masamune. However Ritsu had had sex with tons of other people before and after meeting a certain topaz eyed editor. It wasn't something he took pride in. He was amazed how he hasn't died of AIDS or any other sexually transmitted disease so far.

But it was true. The peridot eyed man only made love with one person. Being used to the brutality and selfishness of other people's desires, Ritsu has been brought to tears the first time he slept with Takano Masamune when they were 15, respectively 17. The gentleness the dark haired boy touched him with, the sweetness of every lingering kiss and the sincerity in his golden eyes were enough to make Ritsu love him more that he loved his life. More than he loved pretty much everything combined.

But this was different. He wasn't making love. He wasn't being touched with gentleness and carefulness. He wasn't feeling any pleasure. Only disgust and pain and shame and regret, as the man behind him thrust deeply one last time inside of him before he emptied his disgusting fluids down his rect. It didn't take long for the man whose cock was blocking his throat to finish his deed either. With drunken laughers and lustful gazes, the old men left Ritsu gasping for air in the wet and stinky bed, before paying their debt and leaving behind what was their part of their deal. With the silent click of the now closed door, the chestnut haired man glanced tiredly at the clock.

" _02.35… The bastards took their time_."

He thought miserably as he waited for the next sex driven person to enter the room. He often wondered why people screamed fire instead of rape. He guessed that that way people wouldn't look other ways, pretending nothing was happening. Why should he lie? He had been raped for so many times he forgot to count. He had been raped so many times and fought against his rapists and been punished for it so many times that he gave up.

If Ritsu had to describe himself, victim would never find its way in the list. He liked to call himself a survivor. Because while his wounds told others about the person who has hurt him, his scars, on the other hand, told the tale of the kind of person hw was. Of how both damaged as broken glass and strong as steel he was.

In his loneliest days, Ritsu chose to think of Masamune. Of the thick abyss that was caught in his hair, the gold that was flattering his eyes, the pale blush that was gracing his lips. His touches, his kisses, his embraces, his everything. The memory itself gave him strength to go on with another day in this shitty nightmare he was living. Because if Masamune hadn't given up on him for ten years, Ritsu wouldn't be the first to let his love go.

The opening door came to him like a slap over his face and he knew he'd be suffering yet another few times before he'd be finished for the night.

Except he was wrong.

Frail arms embraced his shivering body, holding him close to a warm and delicate frame. Brown long hair tickled his shoulder blades and he could feel hot drops of water fall on his forehead.

"How dare they do this to you?" The petite woman sobbed as he hugged him tighter. "Why is this happening to such a good person like you?" She cried as she questioned her beliefs in life again. A tired smile found its place on his broken lips, tears creeping up in his already red eyes.

"We don't get to choose our fates, An-chan…" He explained as he wrapped his arms around her and forced his tears down. He couldn't cry. Not in front of An. Barely tearing herself apart from him, An felt how rage took over her grief at the sight his swollen right eye, broken, bleeding lip, weeping cuts and love bites, purplish black marks on his hips and throat. Ritsu bowed his head in shame.

"Please don't… look at me while looking like this." He asked of her quietly. An winced at her mistake and turned her head elsewhere, giving him time to cover himself up with a spare blanket that was kept under the bed.

"You know…You can go take a shower... I paid enough to stay 'till the night is over." She blinked her tears away as she forced a smile on her face. "I-I can wait for you." The wavy brown haired young woman promised.

"No…I-I want to spend this time with you. It's been so long, An-chan. I could…really use some company now." He smiled as he pulled the blanket closer to his body. The copper colored eyes narrowed in concern as An sat down on the bed and started rubbing his arms in a poor attempt to warm him up.

"How did you get here?" Ritsu asked her as he studied her carefully.

"Your father has had a hand in the arrangements." She said and he gave a relieved sigh out of his lungs. "Your parents want you to know that they haven't forgotten about you. That they are doing everything in their power to bring these bastards down to the grave." An said as he squeezed his cold hands with her warmer ones. "I… I haven't forgotten either." She smiled sadly.

Ritsu looked at her and he felt guilty. Tears pooled in his eyes again and he had to blink a few times to wash them away.

"I'm sorry An-chan." He said brokenly as he bowed his head so that it fell in her lap. "Even though you've done so much to help me, I only bring you misery." He continued as he started whimpering, hot tears finally making way down the bridge of his nose. "I'm so sorry I cannot meet your expectations." He cried into her lap as he gripped at the material of her dress.

"No Rittie… You are not at fault." The tawny haired woman consoled him as she ran her fingers through his sweaty hair.

"We…we don't choose the ones we fall in love with."

* * *

 

"You're drunk as fuck."

"I'm not drunk!" A raven haired man protested as he slammed his empty mug on the table, scarring off the pair of girls that were headed to probably hook up with them.

"…Well at least you are understandable." Yokozawa rubbed his temples for the millionth time that night. "Tell me again, why the fuck did I agree to come with you in the first place?" He asked, meeting his best friend's death glare in a bored manner.

"So you can give the solutions to these little shits~!" Masamune sneaked a hand in his jean pocket and slammed a crumpled piece of paper in front of the onyx haired man.

After reading what was on the piece of paper, an excited glint shone in his cobalt eyes before his mouth morphed into a smirk.

 

"A slow, solemn square-dance

Of warriors feinting.

One by one they fall,

Warriors fainting,

Thirty-two on sixty-four."

 

Yokozawa spoke aloud, before grinning like a mad man. "You're kidding? This riddle is for kids! It's obviously a chess table, dumbass." He said as he pulled out a pen, wait, where did the pen came from, and wrote the answer at the end of the riddle.

Masamune snapped his head up and looked at the onyx haired man with wide eyes. "How did you know…?" He couldn't help but ask. "And how…So fast…"

"I loved games as a kid. Especially riddles. So yeah…" He admitted as he rubbed the back of his neck, before he read the next riddle aloud.

 

"A hundred brothers lie next to each other;

Each white and fine — they've only one spine.

I am the tongue that lies between two.

Remove me to gather their wisdom to you."

 

"Are you kidding me? You couldn't figure out this one either?!" Yokozawa glared at the dark haired editor, obviously mocking his intelligence.

"For your information, bastard, that is a fucking bookmark. So fuck off." Masamune warned before he slammed his head back on the table, causing the rest of the clients still around at that hour flinch and glare daggers at their table. "

Okay, Mr. Demon Editor." The salesman snickered before he went on with his reading.

 

"All shining and silver,

With a beautiful face,

You look into me,

And find this place."

 

Before Yokozawa could make another statement at his friend, the black haired man cut him off:

"It's a damned mirror." He grumbled as he played with his hands.

"Okay." Yokozawa indulged.

 

"Aged, at ninety,

yet healthy and hale,

Praise be to Moses,

my most honored father

Seldom am I called, but more seldom I fail -

Silent, I am, till I speak for my master."

 

And then there was silence. Yokozawa frowned deeper than ever before as he re-read the words again.

He blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Then he just turned around and shouted loud enough to scare the waiter behind him. "TWO MORE BEERS!" He yelled angrily. There was no way, no freaking way he wouldn't find the solution to this one.

"Heh…I thought you said you were an expert in riddles?" Masamune mocked him as he smirked with challenge at him. Yokozawa only gritted his teeth in annoyance as he went back to face the paper.

 

"I wear thick and sturdy clothing but I have no body,

I support all and nothing but I have no hands,

I make different sounds whenever I am touched but I never say a word

, I hide the treasure one searches but I have no gold,

I lie at one's feet but I will never get up"

 

"…It must be the something hidden in the floor, I think." Yokozawa said as he studied the words once again carefully. "Yes, that must be it. A lot of people in these days hide things inside their floors you know?" He explained as he caught Masamune stare at him with his mouth hung open.

"That's amazing Yokozawa…" Masamune affirmed with awe.

"Close your damn mouth, idiot. You wouldn't want to swallow any flies." The onyx haired man blushed at the praise.

After another hour, Yokozawa slammed the piece of paper on the table, clearly dizzy himself from how much alcohol he has drunk. "I give up. I have no fucking idea why Moses would have a fucking gun!" Masamune laughed so he wouldn't cry instead, because what the druken Yokozawa didn't know was that he nailed it.

"That's it." Masamune said slowly, not believing the discovery himself.

"What? Moses having a gun? That's utterly ridiculous." The blue eyed man huffed.

"Not Moses, but John Moses Browning." He said as he finally understood.

"Who?" Yokozawa was clearly starting to get annoyed.

"John Moses Browning. The man who created the 45ACP pistol, in 1911."

* * *

 

Haruhiko was staring at what men would call a goddess. Jet black hair falling down her naked pale body, large sky blue eyes that were too cold, too sharp, too empty for a woman her age. He noticed the finger marks that hugged her neck, the numerous swollen and dark bruises gracing her skin. And lastly but not the least, the dagger in her hand and the bloody frame of a man that had fell rather ungracefully when she pushed him out of the bed with her leg.

"This is what happens when you step over the line, mister." She azure eyed woman said darkly, making no movement to cover up her breasts or her lower regions. Haruhiko gulped silently and pulled himself out of his shock. _So this was the famous Sekhmet_ , he thought. He did nothing to hide his gaze from lurking over her toned abs, legs and arms. He wouldn't deny she was very attractive.

"Are you going to stand there and stare? Sekhmet hissed with venom laced in her voice.

"I wouldn't mind, trust me, but I don't want to hear anything about you having no time enough to fuck me. So get it over with." She said coldly, as she spread her legs, exposing her intimate regions, obviously waiting for him to come into her deadly embrace.

Haruhiko cleared his throat before looking her dead in the eye. "Miss, I do not intend to have sexual intercourse with you tonight." He spoke with genuine sincerity.

Sekhmet frowned and then slipped under the bloody covers of her bed.

"Then what do you want, Mr. Four Eyes?" She asked mockingly, a humorless smile gracing her lips. Haruhiko's eye twitched with irritation. It's been a while since anyone dared to call him that. Given the fact he was who he was, no dared to. Well, except Akihiko. That bastard thought he could do anything.

"I want to talk to you about Misaki Takahashi." The smile died from her face, being replaced with a dark and defensive pair of eyes.

"I know nothing of that name." She said, her voice unwavering.

"Please do not lie to me, Miss." Haruhiko warned."I know he is Phantom's Knight."

"You know nothing, Four Eyes." Sekhmet stated as her eyes burned into his silver ones. "And if you think this place was made for chit-chats you are gravely mistaken." She added dangerously.

Haruhiko sighed. "I know more than you think I do."

"Surprise me." The black haired woman challenged.

"I know Chika-san help him frame up his death when he was 16." The brunet divulged, watching with satisfaction as Sekhmet wasn't fast enough to mask her shock, before she placed an indifferent expression on her face.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She said instead. Suppressing a groan, Haruhiko sneaked a hand inside the pocket inside his grey suit, before he made his way next to the young woman. Placing the slim piece of glossy paper in her hands, his eyes softened.

"You might not believe me this time either, but I want to help him." He whispered loud enough for her to hear. Sekhmet gazed silently over the photograph. She smiled when she saw the nervous, smiling face of Misaki, holding a birthday cake to the smiling man that was obviously the one that was now resting on the bed beside her. After a short moment of silence she gave the photograph back.

"How do I know you weren't the one who ratted him out?" She asked defensively.

"You don't. You'll just have to trust me, his lover and his brother." Haruhiko said honestly, looking at the photograph with adoration. Eyeing him carefully the azure eyed woman finally gave out a long sigh before she turned with a tight smile to her face.

"What is it that you want to know?

* * *

 

He could feel his conscience slipping. He didn't want this. He didn't want this woman atop of him, moaning and massaging her big breasts as he lowered herself again and again and again on his manhood.

" _I don't want this._ " He chanted in his head over and over again as he was losing yet another battle with his body's selfish desires. He hated the moment Set injected him with a strong aphrodisiac saying he was sorry he had to do that, but those were the Boss' orders.

A few more seconds after, Misaki cried with hurt and shame as he emptied himself clean into the older woman's hot cavern. Gasping for air, the blonde gave him a wrinkling smile and kissed him on the cheek.

"You have always been my favorite one, out of the five pawns." She said as she released his shaft by falling beside him.

"So you have told me, many times, Coco-san." Misaki affirmed tiredly. As she dressed up and put her hair back in place, she took her purse and given him a piece of paper with elegant kanji written on it.

"I hope this information will help you, Horus-kun. I heard it while my husband was talking to your Boss on the phone." She said softly, her dark eyes smiling when Misaki snapped in sitting position and stared at her with his mouth open.

"Why?" He asked her. "I have no right to ask anything of you… Of anyone." He told her as he frowned trying to mask his fatigue.

Coco smiled genuinely once again and ruffled his hair. "You filled the loneliness in my life when I found out my husband was cheating on me. I am grateful for that." The fair haired woman said honestly. "This is the least I can do for you."

"But why? You know that as soon as I and my comrades find out something important, we will not hesitate to bring Phantom down along with its followers." The emerald eyed man warned as he didn't want this kind woman caught in their conflict.

"I am by no means involved with Phantom. There's a reason I don't give anyone my real name, right?" She laughed as she put her hands into her beige pants. "My husband can go face life sentence for all I care."

Misaki remained silent. Sometimes he just couldn't believe how lucky and how equally unlucky he was. Raising his head, he forced a smile.

"Thank you, Coco-san." He said with gratitude.

The woman smiled once again before she vanished on the door.

Misaki then opened the bottle of Jack Daniels Coco has brought him as a gift and so he drank and drank and drank until the memory of his smile, his laugh and his cold hands weren't a memory and rather they were a feeling of distant satisfactory and soon he curled up under three blankets hoping he could convince himself that this bed was more comfortable than his lover's arms.

* * *

 

In the end, neither one of the three men saw Misaki that night. Takahiro had been so broken he drank his regrets enough to be as jelly in Akihiko's arms. Akihiko eyed Haruhiko suspiciously as they made their way up in the elevator. He'll have to ask him what he found out. The lavender eyed man wasn't stupid. He knew Haruhiko had a talent at finding things even with his eyes closed.

Thankfully they didn't have to wait for their driver for long in front of the deserted ruins of the house and soon they were on their way home, the only sound being the music that played discretely on the radio. Akihiko, being the man he was, masked his disappointment well and when he saw the first light of a red dawn painted on the horizon, his hand instinctively clasped the soft material of the red scarf Misaki had given him years ago for his birthday.

There are 7 billion people in this world. Some are running scared, some are coming home, and some tell lies just to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. Some are good, struggling with evil. Seven billion people are in this world, seven billion souls. And sometimes...All you need is one

. Sometimes, you meet someone and it's clear as crystal that the two of you belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you're in love or you're partners in crime. You meet these kind of people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they make you feel alive. That's what Akihiko had thought in the past 4 years.

He didn't know if meeting Misaki made him believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely made him believe in something. Even if he still had no clue in what exactly was he placing his beliefs. But it was true. Meeting Misaki had changed everything for the novelist. Akihiko was saturated in emotions and not enough words could explain them. And yet, the forest green eyed boy would always manage to say it all in so little words. His words had always calmed the raging storm inside of him.

In the entire world, there was no heart for him like Misaki's.

In the entire world, there was no love to Misaki like Akihiko's.

So why? Why was this happening? How did things turn up like this? Was it just a test the two of them had to pass or was it the inevitable destiny knocking on their door?

The silver haired man couldn't care any less. Be it destiny, prophecy, coincidence or pure bad luck, he will bring Misaki back by his side.

Even if he had to travel through all nine circles of Hell.

He will not fail.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Guess who is still alive and kicking? ME! And this fic of course. I'm really sorry for taking so long. It's been a very difficult chapter to write!   
> I hope from the depths of my heart that this chapter is what you've been waiting for and enjoy Promise that the next chapie will be longer. Hopefully. Thank you and I hope you'll stick with this story until it's complete!   
> PS: Sorry for any grammar mistakes if there are any! I don't have a beta X*D 
> 
> Until next time,   
> Fel


	8. The Blue Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stay away. In the Far, Far, Far Away Kingdom from drugs. Mkay?

**Chapter 8**

_"Pain changes people. Crying isn't a sign for weakness. It's a sign that you've been strong for too long." – Johnny Depp_

* * *

 

**The Blue Monster**

 

What is justice? Some would say that it represents fairness in protection of rights and punishment of wrongs. While all legal systems aim to uphold this ideal through fair and proper administration of the law of the land, it is possible to have unjust laws. It's always been that way.

When a poor man steals, he is named a thief and ends up in jail. When a rich man steals he is named minister and no one dares stand against him. Now where's the justice in that? Where was justice when a rich man bought his way out of prison? Where was justice when someone poor or of color or from a shady environment was immediately sentenced to jail just because there was no way someone educated and rich to commit a crime?

Justice is all about equality. But there was no equality in this place. Not in this world. It is believed by many people that justice is controlled by a god, energy, or force. It is also believed that this entity is infallible and exhibits perfect justice. Ask a Hindu what justice is and they will explain Karma to you, ask a Christian and they will explain Judgment Day. These are both examples of a form of justice that goes beyond human intervention being controlled by a supernatural force.

But each and every religion discriminates its followers. Each sin, every single crime, misdoing and mistake is judged and inevitably sentenced to the one of the nine circles of the Inferno*. Or the bitter touch of Karma that is said no one can escape.

But not Death. Death doesn't discriminate. It doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes and it takes and it takes. Until there is nothing left to take. And people keep on living anyway. Humans rise and they fall and they break and they make their mistakes.

And if there was a reason Ritsu was still alive and breathing when everyone who had loved him in the past had died, he was willing to wait for it. That thought itself brought an unmistakable peace to his core, each and every single time he was making something atrocious. Every single night the dead plagued his dreams. Every single day he was forced to face the monster he's become. Why should he apologize for being who he was? The ones who made him be that way never did in the first place.

Ritsu learned to live with that. Because Ritsu was smart. Because Ritsu knew what the ones that refused to obey were sentenced to. Because Ritsu himself was one of the fools that opposed Phantom and was tortured mercilessly for it.

Death was kind. Ritsu often reminded himself that when he was quietly slitting a man's throat. Death was and had always been the easy way out. The coward's choice. Death was not an option for the ones like him. Ritsu was strong. If he dealt with the weight on his shoulders all those years ago, while being constantly raped and drugged and beaten up and used for others amusement, he could sure as hell do that now. He owed it after all to himself and the ones that put him back on his feet again. To the ones that never gave up on him. But Ritsu will never forget.

Death was always following his footsteps. Death was everywhere and he knew it in his bones that everything he touched would be inevitably tainted with its shadow. Death was waiting for him. Always waiting. The peridot eyed man knew that someday he'd have to indulge it and fall into its arms. But what do we say to Death?*

"Not today." Ritsu whispered as he shot the shocked woman in front of him without hesitation, before given the chance to scream for help.

Blood painted her pale features as it drained into a red river down her temple, before she fell to the floor like the weightless sack of flesh and bones that she was now. Hiding his Sig Sauer P226 SAO Legion* inside the inner pocket of his coat, the chestnut haired man headed to the window before jumping effortlessly and silently into the nearest bush.

Like a shadow, he slipped quickly past the guards and in a few minutes he was already out of Haruno Eru's domain. He'd met the woman once or twice before. He knew that she was a good person. After all she was working on framing Phantom. Too bad that someone ratted her out and Ritsu was sent to finish her.

He made sure to apologize first of course. He was a monster alright, but he still had a sense of nobility. It didn't take him long to get in front of a familiar café with the logo of duck. Even though he's been free for quite a while he didn't visit the café until he had to warn Misaki about the threat laid ahead.

Climbing down the stairs, the ex-editor pushed the wood door open before he let himself in the warm and dimly lit place. The air smelled of freshly crushed coffee and mulled wine with oranges and cinnamon. The place was lively, full of people seated at tables, chatting about their day and their easier or difficult problems. It didn't take Ritsu long to spot the manager of the café behind the counter brewing some of the most amazing coffee the peridot eyed man has ever tasted on his tongue. The elderly man gave him a wrinkled smile and made him a sign to take a seat in front of him, on the counter height bar stool.

"Good evening, Ojii-san. How are you today?" Ritsu smiled kindly, yet with an unmistakable tiredness. "Very well actually! I was just talking to Aoi-kun* about how many customers we've had lately." The man gave a soft, song-like laugh out, as a young lad, probably in his mid-teens, came out of the Staff Only door.

"Nii-san…" Aoi said with a powerful shock imprinted in his voice, as he gave a tense smile. "It's been so long since I've last saw you." The navy haired boy said as his black eyes shone with an unmistakable uncertainty.

"It's been indeed, Aoi-kun," Ritsu bowed his head in shame before he gave a tense smile back himself. "You've grown so much in these past six years."

"You bet I did!" He said as he gave him a cheeky grin before returning back to the old man's side.

"You'll have to excuse my grandson." The old man chuckled as the navy haired lad huffed under his breath. "He's as excited as he was when he was a little child."

"That's not fair, Grandpa! I only get excited when there's a good reason to!" Aoi countered back. "But he's right. We've had a lot of people here lately." The boy said as he closed his eyes thoughtfully.

"I can't help but remember the early days of this café."

He was right. Even though Aoi was nothing but a child at that time, no one could ever forget the dark history the café was built on. No one could ever forget the initiation of the pawns. Neither the exhausted huffs of their dying victims and the overflowing red that stained the floors for weeks afterwards.

"Aoi…" His grandpa warned, but Aoi didn't listen.

"Listen, Nii-san... I really wanted to say this for a while. And I want to say it now that I have the chance." He said pleadingly, as he threw a glance at his grandfather who was brewing some coffee quietly.

"I don't want you to blame yourself for that day." He said as he threw Ritsu out of his comfort zone. "I… I didn't understand what was happening at that time. I didn't understand that the whole situation was out of your control." He confessed as he tightened his hands into fists.

"No…I shouldn't have pulled the trigger in the first place. I killed an innocent woman because I was told to. That's wrong on all the levels I can think of." The peridot eyed man said as he took the coffee form the manager's hands, bowing his head in gratitude.

"You have each and every right to condemn me."

"I don't." Aoi said tirelessly. "I did condemn you when I saw you shoot her… when I saw Misaki-onii-san and Sekhmet-onee-san shoot the other men in the room. But that was until you three came and saved us from the fire 8 years ago." He countered fiercely as he looked straight into the chestnut haired man's eyes.

"You… you didn't have any obligation to save us in the conditions, your Boss is the one who ordered the fire in the first place."

"We've just done what any human being would have done…" Ritsu said uncomfortably. He wasn't used to being praised for pretty much anything.

"Wrong. You people are good people forced into doing other's dirty work. I don't blame you for that. I know you have your reasons for obeying in the first place." Aoi smiled sadly as he squeezed the other man's shoulder. "And that's fine. Sometimes we have no choice in life but to do what we're told."

Ritsu's mouth broke into a pained smile as he ruffled the teen's hair. "You're a good kid, Aoi." He said as the teen blushed with embarrassment. "Thank you for your kind words."

"It's not a big deal…" Aoi said as he blushed further causing both Ritsu and his grandpa to chuckle with amusement.

The rest of the evening they chatted about anything and everything related to anything but his line of work. It was nice, Ritsu thought. Talking to normal people about normal things. It made him feel normal for a while. That until his cellphone's ring brought the reality clashing upon him violently.

"Hello?"

 _"Where are you?"_ Sekhmet asked, as Ritsu heard the distinct sounds of the traffic.

"At the Smuggling Duckling's." He answered her curtly.

" _I'm coming to get you_." He could hear her smile. " _Wait for me in front of the café in 5_." The dark haired woman instructed before she finished the call.

Turning back to the older man and his grandson, Ritsu gave them a polite smile as he put his trench coat on.

"It's been a delight to talk to you again." He said sincerely as he wrapped his scarf around his neck.

"Likewise." The manager smiled kindly. "Feel free to visit anytime you want, Ritsu-kun."

"Thank you, I will!" He promised as he headed to the door.

"Take care!" Aoi said urgently, worry flashing into his eyes.

"I will. You take care as well." Ritsu smiled one last time before he showed himself out.

Night had fallen fast upon the land. No more than two hours ago the sky was painted with hues of red, orange and pink, but all color had faded leaving only a matt black canvas with no stars to be looked upon. The darkness was thick and the dim light coming from the street lights hardly lit his path allowing him to see at most an arm's reach in front of himself.

Other than the darkness and himself all that seemed to exist was the chilly wind that's harsh bite could be felt through his trench coat. He could feel the hairs on his arm raised and the bite of the wind had left its mark in the form of small bumps that were tingling on his arms, but its bite was more than flesh deep. His blood ran cold through his veins and his bones were chilled.

"Ricchan?" A very familiar brought him back from his reverie, as he turned around to face the none other but Kisa Shouta, which bore the same shocked expression as himself.

"Kisa-san…" Ritsu whispered, before he shook his head in a poor attempt to recover himself.

"How have you been? How is work going?" He asked pulling off the best cheerful voice, giving off a surprised smile. Kisa seemed to buy it.

"I'm tired as hell!" The shorter editor complained. "Takano is working us to the bone ever since you've left…" He drifted off as he tried to catch a better look of Ritsu's face in the dim light. Too bad Ritsu wouldn't let him.

"Ahahaha, sounds like Takano-san alright!" The chestnut haired man forced the tight knot in his throat with a laugh. "How…How is he?" He dared to ask as his hair covered his eyes.

Kisa wasn't stupid. He knew something was going on between the Demon Editor and the "noob" of the department. Why did they break it off? He didn't have an idea. But he figured that if it was meant to be, everything would work out in the end.

"He's become a workaholic. He's always been a workaholic." Kisa huffed under his breath. "But he's overdoing it. Everyone can see that…" The black haired editor stopped when he noticed the guilty expression on the other man's face, but chose to continue anyway.

"Yokozawa-san is doing his best to make him relax, but…he wouldn't listen. It's as if…as if he is trying to forget something by drowning in his work." Kisa said finally as he gave Ritsu the finishing blow.

"I see…" The ex-editor said regretfully. Kisa eyed carefully the stiffened form of the other man and cleared his throat. He watched how the other man composed himself, like an actor going on the stage, out on that empty and lonely street.

"Why did you-?" Kisa tried to ask but he was cut off by the powerful sound caused by the stopping car right beside them.

The door was swung open, and the only things the short editor could have noticed were the womanly form of the stranger and her light, bright blue eyes.

"We need to hurry." The beautiful stranger said curtly, eyeing him almost as a hawk eyed its prey.

Kisa fought down a shiver. He turned to look back at his ex-workmate to notice how he was already bowing respectfully to him.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you…" Ritsu apologized as he rose up to reveal a tight smile. Why? Why was he looking at him as if that was going to be the last time they were going to see each other? Don't look at me like that… That's what Kisa would've wanted to say, but the careful, calculating, blue gaze prevented him from doing so.

"Please send the others my regards." Ritsu continued as his hands trembled. "Please…Tell Takano-san that I miss working with him." He asked the shorter male before he squeezed his shoulder.

"May we…may we never meet again, Kisa-san." He said lastly before he hopped in the car and disappeared into the dark night, leaving Kisa Shouta more shaken than he would've liked.

"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting." Ritsu only but whispered softly after a long while, loud enough for Sekhmet to hear him.

"Don't apologize. It's okay." She assured him as she began driving out of the big city. "It's okay." She repeated.

Only that it wasn't. Whenever the guilt comes, it would always take Ritsu down the old familiar path. He always wants to refuse to walk it, pretend that he was the person he demanded that he was. He wanted to see himself in sepia tones, not perfect colors. He wanted to scrub his head, but if he did he'd never learn from what happened. And it's true what they say, " _Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it_."

He couldn't bare that. So he would keep his eyes on the horizon and his mind to creating a positive future; because really, isn't that what everyone needs?

* * *

 

"You've got to be kidding me." Akihiko frowned suspiciously at his older brother, as Takahiro sipped his tea nervously.

"I am not." Haruhiko dodged his accusing tone easily. Akihiko gave out a humorless laugh before smiling dangerously.

"So you're meaning to tell us, that while we were waiting in that lounge full of drunken men and whores, you have been talking to a damned woman?" He asked as he brought his hands together into a fist.

"That is correct." Haruhiko affirmed calmly as he wrote something down in his notebook, annoying Akihiko further. Takahiro was already sweating from the thick tension in the living room, when Akihiko smashed his fist into the coffee table, causing the later to almost drop the half empty tea cup on the floor.

"Stop fucking around! You knew we wanted to see Misaki! And you just left us there when you probably even had the chance to talk to him!" The silver haired man yelled angrily. Haruhiko finally raised his eyes from his notebook before tossing the said notebook into his little brother's face.

"I was getting information, dumbass. It's more than you could do." He said as he crossed his legs and looked at him smugly.

Akihiko wanted to make him eat those words back, but chose against it when Takahiro rushed to his side to see the notes Haruhiko succeeded in getting. The moment they finally finished reading the notes, both of them the best friends frowned in displeasure.

"There's nothing here about what and how Misaki is doing…" Takahiro deadpanned as Akihiko struggled not to rip the notes apart.

"Misaki is fine. What you've just read are the plans of their next mission in a few months. "The businessman explained, getting a little annoyed himself.

"Phantom wants the "Happy Team" find and steal a relic that from what I've understood if kept somewhere safe in Russia. The Queen tells me it's impossible to get it without Misaki's knowledge on High Valyrian." He explained further.

He almost snorted when he saw the teary eyes of Misaki's brother. "Misaki is okay? Oh thank goodness!" He smiled as he cried with relief.

Akihiko patted him awkwardly on the back, being relieved himself. "There, there."

The moment Takahiro wiped the last tear from the corner of his eyes, he cleared his throat and frowned worriedly. "How…How did you get in touch with the Queen in the first place?"

"It wasn't that hard." Haruhiko admitted. "Remember that old fool who feel down on me? The one I offered to take to the toilet?" He asked as he gazed carefully at the two other males.

"Of course. What about him?" Akihiko asked.

"Well, let's just say that he started blabbing about how he was about to have sex with the most amazing woman in Phantom. With the Queen herself." Haruhiko said with a cold smile gracing his features. "And let's just say that the said man was knocked out by accident and I just got to get his lucky card." He explained as he waved to the two males a golden card.

Akihiko was the first to recover from the discovery, as he gave out a tired snort. "You lucky dog…" He praised as he mirrored his brother's smirk.

"How do you know that what she said is true?" Takahiro asked as he massaged his temples for the countless time that evening.

"I don't. We'll just have to trust her." Haruhiko sighed, as he brought the tea cup to his lips.

"One thing is for sure. Next month, the pawns will be picking up their apprentices."

"Their what?" Takahiro frowned with confusion.

"Their _successors_."

* * *

 

The drug abuse treatment was a joke. It was all about the drug and nothing about the problem that drove the teen to take them in the first place. When the soul is arid, when darkness comes and they have no love to ward it off, chemical substitutes are tough to resist. It made the treatment as effective as telling a hungry person not to eat.

Misaki knew better than someone his age should have.

" _Pour in the love first, show them how much they matter and then try your "treatments" and see how much better the mind can defend itself against the addiction._ " That's what their doctor, Chika-san had told to their Boss, who noticed the drugs made them weaker than usual. So weak it was pathetic.

" _They have to want to live, want to get better, want to heal, and it takes love to bring them to that better place._ " She had said. But the Boss only dismissed her with a cold laugh.

" _They are not human beings, Chika. They are nothing but lifeless, useless pawns that were created for doing my dirty work. To make Phantom the best. Nothing more, nothing less_." He had said.

Misaki had grieved so many times. The drugs had taken his self away a piece at a time. Once he had been the boy that held his mother's hand on the way to swings, squealing with delight and demanding to be pushed higher. He had been generous with his smiles and free with his hugs. Until he was ripped away from his family. Robbed of his origins, of his own name.

Forced to hold either a combat knife or a gun. Alongside with his teammates. That's when he first made acquaintance to drugs. What are drugs anyway? Well, a drug is any substance other than food, that when inhaled, injected, smoked, consumed, absorbed via a patch on the skin or dissolved under the tongue causes a physical or physiological change in the body. Most of the drugs he's ever taken were the ones that made colossal changes to his body.

There was a reason he couldn't hope to reach Takahiro's heigh.

He won't deny that he'd been drugged with something that made him lose his mind in his early teens. No one knew what was named. So they called it The Blue Monster. And while most of the pawns escaped their addiction to the Blue Monster, Apep was the only one who was still fighting it.

"I can't do this." The blond man vomited into the Chika's sink."I…I can't." He repeated over and over as Misaki rubbed circles into his back.

Sure, Apep has done nothing but torture them all when they were in their teens, but he believed in second chances. And Apep deserved at least that much.

"You can." Misaki said before he gulped.

He felt it. The addiction he overcame screamed into his veins. His brain craved the Blue Monster, but he wouldn't indulge it. Never again. "You can do it." The brunette said again, with more strength in his voice.

"There's been a great improvement since out last session, Apep." Chika said softly, as she turned off the ECT* device.

"You're so close. Don't give up now." She tried to man him up as he handed him a handful of pills and a glass of water.

"These should help you." The sweating man gulped the pills and the water immediately, as he literally clung to Misaki.

His usual pale skin was white as sheet, graced by purplish lips and dark circles around his red rimmed brown eyes. Misaki brought up all of his strength and pulled the massive man up, before helping him lie on the nearest bed from Chika's laboratory. Apep was panting hard when Misaki brought the back of his fingers to his cheek.

"He's burning, Chika-san." The forest green eyed male said with worry. "Apep?" Misaki shook him by the shoulder.

When he didn't open his eyes, Misaki shook him a little harder. Panicked, the young man brought his fingers to the blond's neck, feeling for the pulse. When he felt the quick, strong pulse of the King, he sighed relieved as he fell on the chair beside the bed.

"He's passed out." Misaki told Chika, as she wiped the sweat off Apep's face and neck. However the moment Chika's hands touched the blond neck, Apep's eyes flew open and in a fraction of a second, he had her pinned to the floor as he circled his hands around her throat.

"Nina, you fucking bitch!" He yelled loudly and started squeezing Chika's wind pipes, as she chocking and helplessly scratching at his face with her nails, leaving bloody red lines in their wake.

"You thought you could kill me?! Think again!" He said as he started laughing manically. His laughter was however cut by a powerful kick to his side that threw him off the good doctor into the metal tray on which Chika kept some of her surgical instruments. Misaki quickly raised Chika up and pushed her towards the exit of her lab.

"Get out of here!" Misaki yelled urgently at her, before Apep tackled him into a door that was made of glass, causing it to shatter into millions of big and little pieces of broken glass.

"Hahaha, you brought one of your friends, Nina?" He said amusedly as he punched Misaki straight into the corner of his left eye. "No problem! I'll just kill him before I kill you!"

"You fucking idiot! You're hallucinating!" Misaki screamed before another punch landed on his cheek. "Nina is dead!" He tried again. "Hahaha, you think I'm crazy? Pfffff, I'm not the one screaming his head off!" He laughed as he punched Misaki in his guts.

"Have it…your way." Misaki hissed between his bloody teeth and brought his knee high up into his tackler's crouch. Giving a long hiss of pain from the blow, Apep froze for a few seconds, giving Misaki more than enough time to escape.

"Where do you think you-"Apep's scream was cut off when Misaki sunk in the skin his arm a vile of a clear liquid, knocking the blond out instantly.

After he rubbed his face a bit, Misaki knew he'll have a nice purplish makeup tomorrow. He guessed it could've been worst. He finally decided to pick the panting and sweating mess of a man up from the floor and tuck him back in the bed. Chika finally came out from beneath of her desk, rubbing around the already forming bruises around her neck.

"Thank you…" She said in a raspy voice. "If you hadn't been here…I would've been dead." Chika concluded, as she caressed a blond lock out of Apep's face. "He didn't want to do this."

"I know." Misaki agreed.

He himself went through the same treatment with Ritsu, Sekhmet and Set. It hadn't been easy. They killed a lot of people on their way out of their addiction.

"Let's get you patched up." Chika smiled tiredly. "We need to put some ice on your eye as well." She continued as she pulled him towards God knew where.

"Let me help you clean up this mess first." Misaki offered.

"No, let the cleaning staff do that…"

But Misaki didn't listen. He never really listened to anything she said. She watched him as he picked pieces by pieces of glass. She bent down and started picking up the pieces herself. Until a familiar redness started painting the floor.

"Misaki!" Chika yelled in alarm as he frowned at her in confusion. Her expression faded into a pained one as her gaze dropped on his hands.

"...You right hand." She whispered, as she took his hand and pulled the large piece of glass that was stuck into the side of his hand, letting his blood flow rich and continuously on the floor.

As she stitched his and bandaged his hand up, Misaki thought about his condition.

He was born with Congenital Insensitivity to Pain (CIP), also known as congenital analgesia, is one or more rare conditions in which a person cannot feel physical pain.

The forest eyed man has never felt pain in his life.

Except one time, that he did.

* * *

 

An 8-year old Misaki found himself being dragged to a white room with no windows. There was a surgery table in the center of the said room, a white lamp hanging above it, highlighting the rows of beeping machines and the shining surgical instruments on either side. It didn't take him long to realize that those were to be soon used on him, and like any other child, he began to scream. He thrashed and kicked his legs, trying to get away, trying to run away from his captors with fear eating away at his ragging heart.

But what could a child his age do against three grown men? He saw rather than felt the needle injected into his arm and his voice left him in seconds. Misaki tried to make up words, but nothing came out of his little mouth other than ragged gasps and chocking sounds. Tears soon started falling out of his eyes like rain poured on the ground in late autumn nights.

He wanted home. He wanted back to his amazing Onii-chan. He wanted his Mother and Father to rush in there and save him from those monsters. But they never came. Why? Why didn't they come to save him? Didn't they love him? Misaki started sobbing even harder when they removed his shirt and his pants, elastic trousers pulled in their place. He wondered how metal would feel on his skin when laid on his stomach, his back exposed to the manic eyes of his captors. He soon found himself incapacitated by the strong belts of the table. He couldn't move and that made him panic more, every instinct bent on survival but unable to be fulfilled.

"Don't cry, child." A kind voice was heard. Misaki turned his head to see the kind smile of a man in his late forties. "They're not going to hurt you." Misaki stared into the kind red eyes that were contradicted everything that was happening.

The kind smile morphed into a feral one and Misaki started crying again in sheer fear. "Too much that is." The man laughed as he left his side, leaving monsters in white surgical coats.

He was scared even further when he couldn't do anything but stare at their waists as their started doing something that sounded wet. What where they doing? He couldn't understand. Nothing made sense. Until he see one of the monsters bring down a red thing that seemed like a knife. He didn't want to die. He didn't care that he couldn't feel pain. The teary forest eyed boy didn't want to be torn apart by them. The horrible wet noises lasted for what seemed like hours, one of the monsters let out a low whistle.

"Yup, he's got nerve endings but they're shut off. He's perfect." The monster started giggling. "We've found our little Knight!"

Ever since that day, Misaki has hated Knights in shining amours and on white steeds.

They were nothing but a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I'M SOOOO SORRY FOR UPTADING SO LATE! I was so anxious about the results on my college admission that I couldn't type anything, no matter how much I tired. Btw, GUESS WHO'S A FREAKING MED STUDENT STARTING THIS MONTH? ME, holy shit I'm crying again.
> 
> *sniffs* Anyway, this chapter was a whole deal longer. Like 25 pages or more? But then I thought that it might be too ridiculously long so I split it in two chapters.
> 
> I really hope this chapter was to your liking. I really did do my bestest lol. I've a whole deal of research and of reading before writing this so yeah XD
> 
>  
> 
> INFO TIME:
> 
> * The Inferno - Inferno =Italian for "Hell" is the first part of Dante Alighieri's 14th-century epic poem Divine Comedy. It is followed by Purgatorio and Paradiso. The Inferno tells the journey of Dante through Hell, guided by the ancient Roman poet Virgil. In the poem, Hell is depicted as nine circles of suffering located within the Earth.
> 
> *"What do we say to Death? Not today." – Taken from Syrio Forel from ASOIAF/GOT
> 
> * Sig Sauer P226 SAO Legion – Pretty much a 1911 Tactical drag queen
> 
> *Aoi - From Japanese 葵 (aoi) meaning "hollyhock, althea" or an adjectival form of 碧 (ao) meaning "green, blue". Other kanji with the same reading can form this name as well
> 
> * ECT device - Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), formerly known as electroshock therapy, and often referred to as shock treatment, is a psychiatric treatment in which seizures are electrically induced in patients to provide relief from psychiatric illnesses.
> 
> PS: If you notice any grammar mistake or typos please tell me! I don't have a beta-reader :*)
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Fel


	9. The turning point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you ever spot a hired assassin killing, for Heaven's sake please don't drop whatever you're holding and scream, ok? Becasue that would pretty much assure you a free grave.

**Chapter 9**

_"Life is one long curve, full of turning points." – Pierre Trudeau_

* * *

 

**The Turning Point**

How does a monster become a monster?

It starts with love. Always love, and they ate it in greedy handfuls, back when they were whole and beautiful and the light waltzed on their skin like stars.

It starts with sin, always sin, like fingerprints on the spine, like a devouring, like singing while Eden floods, like singing with fists in their mouths.

Before a monster is a monster, it is swollen with love, it presses sin flush against the wall, it pretends that it knows what to do with its hands.

And then the love vanishes, it is plucked right out of their mouths, and the monster is desolate, and the monster is withering, and all that is left is sin and a gaping hole where the heart should be, overgrown and abandoned, stars spilling out.

* * *

 

_8-year-old Misaki knew he was a monster when the demons in white coats stitched his lacerated back, having him whimper and tremble further in fear. At some point they must have injected him with something for his vision drifted into a peaceful darkness. The moment he woke up, he found himself in fluffy blue pajamas, covered by more than one pastel colored blankets. Blinking his eyes out of confusion, he realized he was in a similar white room, except this one was graced by the presence of numerous colored, stuffed animals and toys._

_He didn't fail to notice the presence of four other children, staring owlishly at him in complete silence. Misaki tried to speak and the moment he realized he could, he immediately curled himself into a sobbing ball, burying himself in the pastel colored sheets. He soon felt a small hand shyly patting his head, before teary emerald green locked with vibrant peridot green eyes. The boy awkwardly patting his bead was slightly a bit older than him. Misaki took in his rather feminine features, his cropped lighter, chestnut hair that looked soft and silky, his shocking pale skin and moreover, the dark bruises that were painted over his face, his arms and legs._

_"Hey, ummm, my name is Ritsu. What's your name?" Misaki stopped crying the moment he heard Ritsu's song-like, gentle voice and saw a small, delicate smile on the other boy's face._

_"M-Misaki…" He whimpered as he wiped his tears and snot away from his red face with a blanket that smelled of tears and disinfectant. Ritsu beamed at him._

_"That's a nice name! How old are you?" Misaki glanced between Ritsu and the two boys and girl staring quietly at the two of them._

_" E-eight." Misaki responded quietly before he hiccupped, earning a soft giggle from the little girl seated in the bed next to his._

_"Great! Then you're the same age as Sekhmet!" Ritsu smiled as he pointed to the girl with jet black hair and sky blue eyes. "She's not Japanese. That's all she knows about herself." Ritsu said as a matter-of-factly._

_"And those two, over there," Ritsu pointed out to the two boys seated on the bed on Misaki's left. "Are Set and Apep. Set is the one with red hair and Apep the one with blond hair." The chestnut haired boy explained._

_"Uh, okay." Misaki nodded slowly. It unnerved him how quiet the other three children were, but then again, the entire room was disturbing, never mind the toys and colors it held. The brunette gasped the moment Ritsu hugged him out of the blue._

_"I know it's hard to believe but we are going to make it! We'll all become good friends and everything will be okay!" The light brown haired boy said with ambition._

_Sekhmet got off her bed and took a seat next to Ritsu and nodded more than one time, even though her face was emotionless. Apep and Set shared a look before they both walked to Misaki's bed and sat on the other edge of the bed. The red haired boy, Set, nodded before he patted Misaki's shoulder._

_"Ritsu's right. If we stick together we'll be fine. Besides, we can't feel pain." Set said with confidence, before he was smacked behind the head by the blond boy, Apep._

_"You idiot! We can still feel emotional and psychological pain." The blond boy, that looked slightly older than all of the children there, explained._

_"Like…when you get your feelings hurt?" Set asked confused._

_"…Yeah. Something like that." Apep smiled amusedly._

_From what everyone explained to little Misaki, the brunette understood only a few things._

_He was the same age as Sekhmet, Set was ten and Ritsu and Apep were twelve. He understood that Sekhmet was kidnapped from her family and had no memory whatsoever about her past. He was told that Apep and Set were taken from an orphanage and also, held no memory of their past either._

_Ritsu, on the other hand, was a different story. The lime-green eyed boy told him about his mission to make his mother happy. About how she had taken him to the demons in white coats to save her life and to make her proud. Ritsu told him that he missed his mom, but he knows she'll come back for him._

_How wrong he was._

_Day in, day out, the children were taken out from the pastel room and tutored. Each child had a different subject to cover and everyone finished their own courses faster than they would have finished at normal schools. With time, Misaki learned to bit back his cries when they injected him with drugs that made his vision black out, even though he was wide awake, entirely conscious. He learned how to ignore the fresh and old scars encircling his wrists and ankles from where his feet and hands were severed off then reattached. He had felt nothing, seen nothing thanks to that special drug, and it was only after the procedures, when his system was drug-free and his vision was clear, that he realized what they had done to him._

_Misaki guessed he really did have his nerve-endings turned off if they could cut through his bone without him to notice a thing. He guessed that was a good thing. But he couldn't help but wonder what being hugged by another person felt like. He wondered what did the needles they injected in him felt like._

_Because Misaki Takahashi couldn't feel a thing. Well, until they found a bloody way to make him feel for a fraction of a second._

_And that was the worse day of his life._

_He didn't remember much about that day. Misaki just remembered that they took him back to that cursed white room, placed down on the surgical table as usual before the devil in disguise smiled at him._

_"Lay down on your stomach and we'll start something new for today, okay little Knight?" Misaki resisted the urge to shiver at the sight of that red eyed old man and did as he was told before he was tied down firmly by more than two pairs of belts._

_"So, little Knight, how are you feeling after the previous operation?" The Boss asked, as he patted his bruised back, and Misaki had to remind himself that it was out of the question to lash out at him and hit the damn demon whose crotch he was forced to stare at as he was bound to the table._

_"Fine." Misaki said though gritted teeth, out of anger and frustration._

_"Now, we're going to do something entirely different. Try not to scream too much, alright?" The demon smiled again before he left him surrounded by the men in white coats._

_Misaki stiffened at the man's words, for he stopped screaming for some time now. He didn't feel the pain he should have felt, so what could they possibly do so barbaric that he'd scream? He didn't scream anymore. He knew there was no point in doing so. There was no Superman or Batman to come there to rescue him and the other children._

_Misaki was suspicious though. Why bother ask him about how he felt after the last procedure? It's true that the procedure itself had been strange. He remembered how more doctors were present around him that there used to be. He remembered how they implanted tubes in his back and in his arms, tubes that pumped in his little body some sort of neon blue liquid out of a huge canister. Misaki learned that he wasn't the only one who had been sentenced to the odd treatment._

_The other children talked with each other after all. They talked about how they fainted as soon as the liquid entered their body, about how they woke up around half a day later and vomited everything they had eaten earlier that day. He hated it. He would always dream of the impossible happiness he'd feel to be with his family again. But that was impossible. If his parents were already gone in Heavens, then Misaki doubted his brother was still on that earthly plane._

_The moment he was injected with something in his nape, Misaki's eyes rolled back in his orbits and his mouth opened in a silent scream, saliva dripping generously from his chin, tears flooding his forest green eyes. He thrashed and he struggled, something he stopped doing a year ago, trying to reach out for the source that was causing him such dread._

_He felt something cold and hard being pulled out and away from him. The pain of his open back and visible spinal cord was something unreal, something he couldn't comprehend, something he didn't want to feel and yet it couldn't compare to the pain he felt in every pore of his skin, to the feeling of splintering ice in his lungs, to the rotting of his the infected flesh._

_It was terrible. That wasn't pain. It was beyond pain. He screamed and struggled and he didn't stop. He couldn't stop. He could not stop. He had never felt anything, neither pain nor warmth, and this burning feeling agony of more-than-pain was too much for him to handle._

_This time, the darkness he fell into wasn't welcoming, nor peaceful as it had been in the past. For the agony had followed him in his sleep and this time he couldn't fight against it. He could just feel. His pain manifested itself in colors of red and blue and green and orange and all the spectrum of the rainbows he's seen after storms, and he had almost gone insane from the sudden and over-abuse of his nerves._

_And then, the next morning when he woke up and vomited the same as he had always done, Misaki cried. Because he didn't understand why his bed had become tainted by a bright red. He didn't want to understand why all of the other children's bed were just as tainted with blood as his was._

_And then he felt nothing._

_No pain, no warmth, nothing.That moment, Misaki knew._

_He was a monster. For only monsters like him couldn't feel anything at all._

* * *

 

"MISAKI, WAKE THE FUCK UP!" Forest green eyes widened and the brunette almost jumped out of his bed, if it were not for the firm hands of the red haired man beside him to keep him in place.

"S-Set?" Misaki panted as he wiped the sweat from his face with a trembling hand.

"You had a nightmare." The cooper eyed man explained as he let the brunette's shoulders go. "Are you okay? Want me to bring something?" The redhead asked with concern as he eyed Misaki carefully.

"No…It's okay." Misaki panted one last time before he took a deep breath to calm himself. "I'm okay." He forced a smile up on his deadly pale face.

"Stop lying, you fool." Set warned with annoyance, as he sat up and threw a jacket over his pajamas. "Care to join me for a walk outside? I could use some fresh air." The redhead yawned as he put his hand into his pockets, before throwing another glance at Misaki.

"Well, at least you certainly do need it." He stated before dragging the green eyed man out of his bed and out in the cold night.

"So, what did you dream about?" Set asked as he stopped under a willow tree and sat on a large, smooth stone near the frozen lake of the abandoned property Phantom's headquarters were buried in.

Misaki knew there was no point to lie about it. After all they were all carrying the same cross.

"The past." Misaki muttered as he raised his red scarf over his frozen nose. "The first year, anyway." The brunette confessed, before he brought a hand into the pocket of his coat, revealing a pack of Camel cigarettes.

"Join me?" The green eyed male asked as he handed the redhead the pack after he slipped one of the cancerous sticks between his lips. Set raised an eyebrow, amusement clearly shown on his face before he accepted Misaki's offer and took a cigarette as well.

"Since when do you smoke anyway?" He asked, accepting Misaki's lighter before he lit up his cigarette and threw the lighter right back into its owner's hand.

"Let's just say it reminds me of… home." The brunette indulged, inhaling the smog into his lungs, feeling how his throat burned from its bitterness.

"Home? Come on, you're just missing your b-"

"There you are!" Both of them snapped into attention, catching the shady silhouette heading towards them. "I searched for you the entire, damn headquarters." She complained as the moon highlighted her dark hair and light colored eyes.

"Calm down, Sekhmet." Set smirked as he played with his pocket knife. "Something up?" He asked with a yawn.

"Nothing special, really." The young woman confirmed as she crossed her arms. "I just have to *send an idiot off for selling some of Phantom's information as well as huge debts…" She sighed tiredly.

"Give me one too, Misaki." Sekhmet asked before the green eyed male handed her a cigarette and the lighter. As she exhaled the smog into the mid winter's air, Sekhmet eyed the two young men carefully before she frowned.

"Since when does Misaki smoke?" Set started laughing while Misaki face-palmed himself.

"Come on, what's so curious about the fact that I'm smoking? Maybe I've just given up and followed you guys into this habit." Misaki tried to defend himself but he was clearly failing to when he saw how both of his comrades were laughing.

"Ah…" The young woman's giggle drifted into silence, as a tired smile graced her noble features. "Anyway, Misaki you're coming with me." She stated before stomping the cigarette in the wet ground.

"And what about me?" The red haired man whined. "I haven't left the headquarters for a few days either." Set argued while Misaki laughed nervously.

"Misaki has spent these days taking care of Apep. You spent these days playing video games and watching The Vampire Diaries." The blue eyed female countered, struggling to keep herself from laughing in his face.

"…Really?" Misaki was the first to laugh out of them. "Damn it, Set!" The brunette forced himself to stop and breathe before he cracked up again.

"He's a romantic at heart, what do you know?" Sekhmet smiled genuinely as she ruffled Set's red hair. "Don't worry," She said before she flicked her finger on his forehead. "We love you anyway."

"Go suck a dick!" He cursed, trying to cover his red face.

"Already done that." She smirked.

"Well, if you don't have anything else to say, let's go." The dark haired woman turned on her heel before walking away with Misaki behind her, before she stopped and twisted her head back to eye the redhead. "You coming?" She asked playfully, as Set cursed once again and ran after the pair into night's camouflage.

* * *

 

"KISA!" The Demon editor-in chief of Emerald boomed and brought Kisa Shouta out of his reverie with an unmistakable start.

"Oh! Umm, what is it?" Kisa asked sheepishly.

"What do you mean what is it?" Takano said through gritted teeth. He was really trying to be civil, huh?

"Tsk…This is the third time you doze off." The dark haired editor stated as he played with his pen. "We were talking about the series you're in charge of!" He yelled again in the entire conference room, automatically sending shivers down all the staff's spines.

"I'm s-sorry!" Kisa stuttered as he searched furiously through his own files. "Um, you mean Morimoto Kana's, right?" The 30-year-old man dared to ask and failed to see Hatori Yoshiyuki face-palm himself for the countless time that day.

"Actually, we're talking about Mizushima Yoko's right now." Hatori tried to help him, while Mino simply smiled as he always did.

"E-eh?!" Kisa gasped in horror as he continued to search as a mad man through his files for what his superior needed.

But it was no use. They weren't there.

"Oh, crap! I left the documents in the office!" He panicked as he raised up and rushed towards the door before Takano's hot anger stopped him in his tracks.

"Kisa." The golden eyed man said in a dangerous low tone. "You've been too distracted lately. You need to focus!"

"Yes, sir! Please excuse me!" Kisa bowed a little before he literally sprinted out of the conference room.

Thankfully, things worked out by the end of the evening. They sorted everything out with the printers, Yokozawa, as usual, took care of the sales, and of course, Takano Masamune finished what others would call a day in hell.

"Okay, everyone!" The Demon Editor shouted out to his fellow teammates. "You can go home now. Thank you for the hard work!" He praised as Hatori, Mino and Kisa bowed their head in respect before turning towards the elevators.

"Kisa, a moment please?" Kisa stopped in his tracks, as he felt sweat run down his nape with nervousness.

"Yes, Takano-san?" He laughed awkwardly, trying his best not to look as embarrassed as he felt right then.

"Is everything alright? Anything happening at home, with your old folks?" Takano raised a questioning eyebrow as he watched intently every move of his subordinate.

"No…"The shorter editor denied as he started playing with his hands. "It's just that…I've been thinking about something I couldn't really understand." The 30-year-old man tried to explain but obviously failed to as the editor-in-chief frowned in confusion.

"And what is that-"

"I met Richhan two nights ago." Kisa blurted out before he could stop himself. Takano's eyes widened and for a few seconds, none of them muttered a word.

"I see…" Takano said slowly, as if trying to recover from his shock, before he masked his obvious bewilderment and faked a lazy smile.

"So what did you guys talk about? Did he find another job at his dad's company?" He winced. He hadn't meant to say that.

"No…We actually talked about…you." Kisa confessed as he massaged his the back of his neck awkwardly.

This time Takano simply couldn't mask his surprise. "He asked about me?" He dared ask as his voice trembled a little.

The hope. The happiness he felt, made all of his pain and sorrow melt away as if they had been nothing. He finally felt something. He felt as if Heavens gave his and Ritsu's relationship another chance.

Kisa, on the other hand, was shaken by this sight of Takano Masamune. Never in his time working side by side with him, has ever Kisa ever seen him so vulnerable. He guessed that's what love does to one man. It breaks him and it mends him back together and makes him suffer and it makes him happy.

"Yeah…" Kisa nodded. "But I couldn't ask him anything because a car stopped by and took him God knows where." He sighed as he ignored how his boss' face fell."I'm sorry, Takano-san."

"Idiot…There's nothing for you to apologize for." He muttered as he buried his face in his hand with regret.

* * *

 

"So Sekhmet, by sending this guy off, you mean to set him up to the police or killing him?" The red haired man asked from the backseat, as the young woman drove into one of the poorest districts in Tokyo.

"No, Set. We're here to kill him silently." The blue eyed woman reported, as she stopped the car behind a big van.

"I tried talking to the Boss about sending him to the police instead, because this guy has a kid, but he wouldn't hear about it, so here we are." Sekhmet sighed as she turned the engine off.

"Okay, then why did you really have to take with you?" Misaki whined. He really didn't want to see how the man would collapse in horror to the floor with a hole in his head. He didn't want to hear the cries of his child either. He didn't want to murder that child.

"Because I was bored and I want you as my company." She smiled sweetly at him.

In the past, he was the same as her. He didn't care anymore about who died and who didn't. It was his job. Their job. And he just had to get used to it. He wasn't sure if he could do all of that stuff again.

"I'm staying here…" Misaki closed his eyes, not wanting to deal with nightmares that night. Set and Sekhmet shared a look before Set clutched his shoulder. "Are you sure? We won't take long." He tried to reason out as the young woman assisted him.

"We are just going to send them off peacefully. They won't even know." She promised as she smiled gently.

"It's what we do, Misaki… You can't run from the responsibility forever." Set continued as he opened his door. "You owe it after all to all of your victims. As all of us do." He said before he got out of the car.

With a long sigh, Misaki gave up and got out of the car, shortly being followed by Sekhmet. They didn't walk for more than three minutes, before they reached the old, broken door, of their victim's house. Set pushed the door silently and they made their way in just like shadows, quieter than winter winds. The victim, a man in his mid-40s, was seated on a rotten couch, in front of a small TV, clutching a bottle of beer tightly in his hands.

"Hurry up, you useless piece of shit!" The man yelled angrily, before he gulped down the rest of his beer. "How much could it take to make a fucking dinner?" He grunted as he continued to watch a football match. "Such a useless bitch…"

Sekhmet didn't waste any time and pointed her silvery white gun at the back of the man's head and pulled the trigger. The man froze with a soft gasp as the bullet passed through his head, leaving him dead and slumping down the couch quietly.

"Dad, I'm sorry for the wait, the microwave kinda broke down-"The blonde, mid-length haired teen said softly before she stopped in the kitchen door's threshold, dropping the plate with convenience store food on the floor, at the sight of her dead father. Misaki's eyes widened in horror as he saw Asuka, the waitress he met in the club that was set on fire less than two months ago.

His chest ached when a sob slipped past her lips as rivers of tears flowed on her cheeks. Saddened, Sekhmet raised her gun once again and pointed at the young blond girl and Misaki had to clench his eyes closed, because he couldn't bear to see how the Queen of Phantom robbed the poor girl of all of her dreams, all of her future and all of her life.

But that didn't happen. For when Asuka felt the gun pointed at her, her head snapped quickly towards the three assassins, dodging the bullet just in time before it to hit her stomach.

"Wha-"Set tried to speak in shock, before he was stopped by Misaki's deep sigh of relief when Asuka ran away, out of the house.

"We must catch her!" Sekhmet hissed, angry on how easy Asuka evades her bullet. All of them rushed after the running teen, Sekhmet trying more than one time to take her down with a rain of bullets. Shockingly to everyone involved, Asuka managed to dodge most of the bullets, before one of them hit her square in her lower leg. Misaki was close enough to hear her wince of pain, as she continued to run for her life. Sekhmet took that as a change and tried to shoot her again but Misaki's hand on her gun prevented her from doing so.

"Stop! You're killing her!" Misaki screamed urgently, as Sekhmet furiously pushed him aside.

"That's the point, you freaking moron!" She screamed back as she followed Asuka in a tight, dark alley between two blocks of flats.

"Stop! She isn't involved with Phantom!" Misaki tried again to grab the jet black haired woman, but was blocked from doing so by Set's strong grip on his right arm.

"She started being involved the moment she saw us in front of her father's damn body!" The red haired man yelled at him in frustration. "Focus, damnit!" He hissed as he ran past him, to join Sekhmet in her tracking.

Misaki bit his lip and knew that what they said was right. No matter how innocent Asuka was, she was doomed to death the moment her eyes met his own. The betrayal, the disappointment and the rage in her eyes at the sight of him, made the emerald eyed man feel ashamed.

It hurt. It hurt him more than he would've wanted to admit. With his heart clenching with dread and his mind silent like the peacefulness before the storm, he followed his comrades deeper into the maze of alleys, out for Asuka's blood. After long minutes spent searching every single spot near the range Asuka disappeared from, Sekhmet hit a trash bin dangerously close to Set's head.

"Damn it!" She yelled. "This is impossible! I've never missed a running target in my fucking life!" She shrieked as she hit anything in her way.

Asuka was nowhere to be found.

She was gone.

* * *

 

The moment Takano Masamune got back home, he slumped on his sofa, head facing the ceiling. Onodera Ritsu was a total enigma to him. And he's known him for almost 11 years. He felt like if he were to see Ritsu right then, it would break him and mend him back again. Masamune felt like seeing him was forbidden, yet to stay away is pain. So much pain he couldn't sleep at night, for the memories of Ritsu were too strong, too insistent to go away. So he remains locked in a love that brought sorrow, for his heart strayed where it should not and now his mind must pull it back to within the confines in which it is permitted to roam.

Only this time he does not.

He doesn't force himself to forget. He remembers. He remembers the riddles Yokozawa has solved for him two nights ago. At first he didn't want to visit Ritsu's apartment. The pain would have been too much for him to handle.

Then it was the rage. Because Masamune had always had a temper and when he was over the regret, he could only feel anger. Anger towards Ritsu for leaving him. Anger towards himself, for letting Ritsu flee without a fight. But now, after Kisa told him how Ritsu asked about him, he was filled with too much love, too much hope to fight his feelings anymore. So he decided to honor Ritsu's only request and find out whatever he has left him with. He owed him that much.

Rising up from the sofa, Masamune took Ritsu's apartment key from his coffee table and went out of his own before he faced his old lover's door. Slipping the key in the lock, Masamune opened the door with a firm click, before he barged in. The apartment was pretty much in the same state as he left it, less than a month ago, only that the air was considerably stale and a generous amount of dust covered the remaining furniture.

"Okay…"He whispered to himself. "So I need to find a chess table, a bookmark and a…gun." He gulped.

He really hoped Onodera was playing a stupid joke on him and left him a toy gun. He really did.

For more than half an hour he searched like a mad man for a chess table and a book mark, but he found nothing. Angry and bitter he stopped by the small bookcase that held some of his and Ritsu's favorite books, before he gave an angry howl and hit the bookcase in an attempt to calm himself down. However, the moment he hit the bookcase he heard how something, probably made of wood opposed the bookcase from slamming itself on the wall.

Hopefully, Masamune quickly grabbed the bookcase and moved it a bit to the side, enough for his to see what was behind it. He let out a cry of joy at the sight of a dusty chess case. Eagerly, he took it under his arm and rushed to Ritsu's sofa, before he opened the case, tense in anticipation. What he found were not chess pieces, but a leather covered book. A book in which rested a vibrant colored bookmark. Sighing with relief he pulled the bookmark out and investigated it carefully. His eyes quickly softened at the sight of his lover's handwriting.

_"Congratulations, Takano-san! I had no doubt that you'd find this one. From now on, the road you are walking will become tough. The reasons I have… The reasons about why I left and why I may not ever come back, it all rests inside this diary you are holding right now. I understand if after you finish reading it you won't want to hear about me again. Even so, I want you to understand. I know I can trust you with these secrets of mine…And if you choose to still chase after me…Then I thank you. You are then one of the very few that gave this whole thing a chance. Thank you. I really…really, love you._

_Yours, Onodera Ritsu_ "

His eyes stung and he didn't realize he was crying until after he saw how his tears fell on the leather cover of Ritsu's diary. Why would he ever thing he'd ever give up on him. Is that why he left? Is that why he had always been so personal when it came to the past? He had so many questions. And he could finally have them all answered. It gave him so much joy it hurt. Because he could finally understand. But before that, he needed to find the last thing Ritsu left him. The gun.

Surprisingly, it didn't take him long to find the point on Ritsu's parquet that sounded different from all the other points in his apartment. He actually knew how to find these type of sounds, after he accidentally found some of his mother's documents hidden in the parquet under her desk. For that experience, he was really thankful now.

After he gently removed the portion of parquet that hid nice and well the present Ritsu left him with, Masamune's hands started trembling as he reached for the shiny, silvery and heavy item inside. Raising the hard and heavy gun in the light, Masamune finally realized that he was in a far more significant and dangerous game than he had originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Dun dun dun DUNNNNN! Masa-kun has a gun~! And I bet you guys didn't expect to see Asuka again! Hehe, well stay tuned for the next chapter. It's something you've all been waiting for quite a while now. I sure have lol!
> 
> Also, hope the flashbacks are to your liking! I spent quite a lot of time trying to figure out with what to start first. If you have any questions please feel free to ask me anytime! I don't bite! :3
> 
> One of my most loyal readers has pointed out to me that the naming and description of my OC's confuse them (I'm so sorry! I have no idea what gender you are orz), so I thought that maybe they are not the only one who get confused. Therefore I tried to be more explicit one the description. And I'll also write here about the OC's so you won't be confused next time! XD
> 
> Apep = The King – Around Ritsu's age, as mentioned in this chapter. He has shaggy blonde hair and dark brown eyes. His body is a bit massive and pretty toned, but not exaggerated. Has around 1.85 m. His skin is slightly tanned. He isn't Japanese as I mentioned earlier in the plot. SPOILER: He's from Scotland.
> 
> Sekhmet = The Queen – Around Misaki's age. Has back-length, jet black hair and light blue eyes. She has a slightly toned, yet athletic body shape. She has a pale complexion. Has around 1.75, so yeah, taller than Misaki and about Ritsu's height XD. As I mention earlier in the story as well in this chapie, she is not Japanese. She had been kidnapped from her family. SPOILER: She's from somewhere in Russia. ;)
> 
> Set = The Bishop – Two years older than Misaki and Sekhmet, two years younger than Apep and Ritsu. Has chin-length ruby red hair and coppery-pink eyes (smoothing like Rin from Free! Lol XD) He is slightly more massive than Apep and has 1.80 m. His skin is rosy. And he is Japanese af. SPOILER: He's in love with Sekhmet or is he? O.O We'll see soon ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Fel


	10. I love you, Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes lies sound better than truths and sometimes reunions can make you all forget it all for a little while.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> You're welcome.

**Chapter 10**

_"True love is like ghosts. Everybody talks about them, but few have actually seen it." – Francois De La Rochefoucauld_

* * *

 

**I love you, Goodbye**

 

Takano Masamune stared at his lover's diary. He had hidden the gun under his pillow and he kind of regretted it because he couldn't, he just couldn't sleep while feeling the shape of the gun under his head. What if he accidentally shot himself in the head while he was sleeping?!

He sighed and let the matter slip. For now. He will certainly change the hiding place. That was a given.

And now he was staring so profoundly at the old leather the diary was coated with, trying to find the courage to open it and read all of its secrets. The diary was old and heavy, the leather felt soft and delicate as he ran his fingers over the faded blue bindings. Ritsu was gone but here was a window into his private thoughts. Thoughts he had always tried to understand. And seemingly couldn't. Did he want to know? Would it be a violation to his lover to read it? Or did Ritsu leave the diary behind in hopes he might understand?

In hopes that the enigma that begged to be understood might finally be uncovered? He really was starting to think that he was thinking like a girl on period. Taking a deep breath, Masamune fingered the gold lettering carefully before he opened the cover, paper rustled as he thumbed through the diary.

Words appeared and disappeared as his eyes flitted across the pages, quickly picking out anything of importance from the jumble of sentences that littered the world he had become immersed in, before he came back to the very first entry.

And that was the moment everything he was so certain about, everything about the truth he lived by for so many years and everything he had been taught about the world had been shattered to pieces.

* * *

 

Other than the useless facts that he was the son of a successful and powerful man in Japan and that himself was an experienced businessman, Usami Haruhiko was a simple man.

He drank his coffee and ate his food in the morning. He then went to work at the places he was assigned to design. He talked and worked alongside with his men. Then they had their afternoon food together. Right after they evaluated everything they've done that day and he never forgot to thank his men for their hard work. He sometimes went for drinks with his teammates. He then came back to his home. He ate his dinner. And finished the day by reading a few chapters out of a book before going off to bed.

Perfectly normal.

His father had neglected him and his step little brother Akihiko as children. Sad, but nothing out of the normal.

He was 34 and still lacked a wife and children of his own. Odd and yet still within the confines of normalcy.

He was in love with a man. Okay, that was strange, but gay popularity was growing fast those days so no, still not something that out of the normal.

Oh and he forgot to mention that his so-called crush was an assassin. That's pretty much where normalcy had ended.

But he really did love the emerald eyed young man. To him, Misaki was like the sky and the clouds. He was the gentle river and the birds that sang. I felt him in the air, longed for his touch, recalled Misaki in a way that sent electricity to spark his mind, body and soul.

Misaki was his medicine. For his life changed ever since he met his step-brother's boyfriend. Misaki made him better, kinder and more open to the unknown than he had ever been before. He helped him grow into the man he was today.

Haruhiko had told Misaki many times. It annoyed him a bit…Misaki's way of denying his feelings. But he had really meant it. He had slipped his heart into Misaki's pocket 4 years ago and there it will stay, safe and sound. He really did love him. And he'd really do everything in his power to get him back.

His ringing phone brought the teal-eyed businessman out of his thoughts and without much thought, he cleared his throat before answering the call with his unnerving polite and professional voice.

"Usami Haruhiko speaking." He spoke with confidence at the unknown caller as he watched the drizzle pour on his window, as he brought the hot cup of tea from the coffee table to his lips.

" _Hi there, Four Eyes!_ " A cheery voice squealed on the line and Haruhiko chocked on his tea, blushing a little in embarrassment as he wiped the dripping tea from his chin, getting more annoyed by the seconds he had to hear Sekhmet laugh like crazy in his ear. " _Haha, you okay?_ " He heard her pleasant giggle as he huffed and recovered his professional attitude.

"Yes, thank you." He answered curtly, crossing his legs as he continued to watch outside the window.

" _Come on, you don't have to be so formal!_ " The blue eyed woman whined and Haruhiko couldn't help but smile a little bit before he noticed that and forced the corners of his lips downwards. " _You have seen me naked after all_." She chuckled at her own statement.

"What do you want, Sekhmet?" He asked sternly and that's when she stopped laughing.

" _I want to meet up with you_." He heard a loud and long sigh before he felt her grin. " _You might as well bring that brother of yours and Misaki's brother._ " She advised and Haruhiko felt like his heart burst with joy but kept his voice collected.

"You know," he said, "You have it easy." He faked an annoyed voice.

" _What do you mean?_ " Sekhmet asked confused.

"Having seen Misaki every day and laughing in his face at everything he fails to do." He sighed.

The dark haired woman on the line mock cried, " _How dare you accuse me of just misjudged deeds?_ " She faked a sob and a snicker slipped out Haruhiko's mouth.

Sometimes there was just no being serious at number thirty four.

" _Okay, now seriously._ " She spoke solemnly this time and Haruhiko collected himself once again. " _Can you gather up at the break of dawn?_ "

"What for?" He asked suspiciously.

" _You'll see_." She gushed. " _Be there. I'll send you the coordinates, so don't be late_." He heard her say before the line was dropped.

* * *

 

To the chestnut haired assassin it was just like another day in the office. Except his office was a windy roof-top overlooking his target's behavior. His tools, rather than a computer, was a state-of-the-art rifle with telescopic lens. The silencer was shining proudly in the sun, eagerly waiting to muffle out the riffle's warning when shooting. He took aim with no more qualms than one would gossip about a colleague, and then squeezed the trigger while thinking of the coffee he would order at Starbucks.

He took no satisfaction in the killing, but he took enormous pride in getting a good clean kill. He was a perfectionist after all. He had a reputation to maintain and that reputation guaranteed that at the sound of his codename, people would shake in fear.

Onodera Ritsu eyed the weapon with bleak green eyes, the eyes of a hunter framed in the passionless face of an executioner. His blunt hands were steady as they lifted the gun and tried a dry shot at an imaginary target. He nodded to himself. He was ready.

Carefully he laid the rifle down on the mattress which covered the floor of his firing point, and looked out through the hole in the brickwork to the narrow canyon of the street below. The Rook lazily targeted the driver of a van, which was stationed behind a large truck, guarding him and the woman that was sucking him off from some of the passing people's glances.

Snorting in distaste, Ritsu held his breath and pulled the trigger, shooting the orgasming man square in his head.

The woman didn't realize immediately, but the moment she did she let out a horribly pinched scream before she tumbled out of the car and ran away. Ritsu couldn't help but chuckle a bit. He was pretty sure his victim didn't mind dying while orgasming. He guessed a lot of men wished to die that way.

Packing his things quickly, Ritsu quickly found himself walking calmly on the street, no one ever suspecting that inside the inconspicuous ruck sack on his back was resting a killer's equipment. He maintained a cool detachment to his targets. Mostly he preferred not to think of them, but when he did it was as if they were already dead - walking meat bags waiting to be dispatched to the butcher.

He thought of them as meeting their destiny and he was merely the conduit. Everyone has to die sometime, and he considered it a good way to go. No illness, no drawn-out goodbyes. They were just happy and oblivious one second and gone the next. Simple. Convenient. Painless.

Soon, he reached the **Smuggling Duckling Café** and Ritsu eagerly climbed down the stairs and pushed the wooden door open, the comforting smell of freshly crushed coffee invading his nostrils. The tiny café huddled despondent among the huge city buildings. Washed out under the overcast sky, it hunched in itself, fighting against the drizzle.

Hundreds of people rushed by it, outside on the crowded street. The half a dozen customers glanced up as the door swung open, heralded by a blast of cold wind. Unlike the outside, the interior of the café was warm and cheery, with bright lights and colorful walls. The customers returned to their conversations as the door swung closed behind the new entrant and the cold breeze was forgotten.

"Hello, Oji-san." Ritsu smiled kindly as he faced the manager of the café. "How's work going?" He asked as he sat at the counter, placing his ruck sack on the neighboring chair.

"Pretty good actually." The manager hummed as he paid a glance to the chatting crowd of people, seating either with their friends or alone, reading a book.

"Someone is waiting for you." He whispered just enough for Ritsu to hear him and pointed his finger on his left side, where a pair of stairs leaded somewhere above. At the sight of Ritsu's tensing form and defensive attitude, the old man sighed and smiled patiently.

"Don't worry about it." He said as he patted the younger man's shoulder."It's someone you haven't seen in a long while." The manager grinned the moment Ritsu's face lightened up.

"Go on then." The old man encouraged him, before the ex-editor thanked him and rushed up the stairs, leaving the manager prepare some coffee for the waiting client seated at the edge of the counter.

The living room Ritsu arrived to was like a perfect magazine cover. The couch was cream colored but inlaid with a fine green silk; leaves embroidered so delicately that they might have landed there in spring and just sunk in, but he knew they took hundreds of hours to sew. The white curtains were made of linen, the kind of white that is untouched by hands and devoid of dust.

A cursory look to the right divulged the almost hidden cords that are used to open and close them. There is was television, no bookshelf, no dining table, only the chairs arranged around the bespoke fireplace which leaps with a gas flame. The floor is a high polished wood, dark and free of either dust or clutter.

And near the fireplace, seated on a brown armchair, was Onodera Akio. The man Ritsu loved and admired more than anything. His father.

"Dad!" Ritsu exclaimed with joy as he walked faster towards him. The moment he saw his son, the CEO of Onodera Publishing smiled warmly as he showed him the armchair beside him.

"Sit down, boy." He instructed in a stern, yet loving voice, taking his son's hand and squeezing it affectionately as the younger man sat down.

"Why…Why are you here?" The green eyed man asked worriedly. "It's dangerous meeting up like this." He told his father as he stared intently at his wrinkled, yet handsome face.

"Don't worry about that now." Onodera-papa waved his hand in indifference. "I already took care of that. The manager won't sell us out." He assured.

"It's not that. What if someone sees us together?" Ritsu asked with panic.

Akio only gave a long sigh out. "You sound like you can't wait to get rid of me…"Akio faked a hurtful expression, making Ritsu chuckle at his attics.

"Never, dad." Ritsu promised. "How's mother? How's Ann?" The green eyed assassin asked eagerly, but his smile melted away when he saw the change of color in his father's being.

"Your mother is like a banshee nowadays." The older man smiled tiredly. "She misses you. She hates how she can't do anything to save her baby boy." He chuckled a bit, as Ritsu blushed with embarrassment.

"About Ann…There's something you should know-" Akio started as he clenched the side of his armchair, frowning at the glowing flames in the fireplace, before was cut off by his son's ringing cellphone. Ritsu frowned worryingly at him before he pressed a finger to his lips, urging his father to keep quiet as he answered the unknown caller.

"Hello?" Ritsu pulled the greatest indifferent voice he could find.

" _Ah, hey Ritsu. Sorry, am I bothering you?_ " Set's voice was heard through the cellphone and Ritsu sighed with relief.

"No…What's up?" He lied as he glanced at his father one more time before he stared at the photographs aligned on the fireplace.

" _We need you to track somebody._ " Set got right on the point and Ritsu could hear Sekhmet swear angrily on the background.

" _Believe it or not, Sekhmet actually missed shooting a girl dead. But, she managed, somehow, OUCH!"_ Set growled with fury as Sekhmet probably hit him after bad talking her. After a few seconds of cursing at her, the red haired man on the other line sighed and resumed his call.

" _As I was saying, she managed to shoot her in the leg with those GPS incorporated bullets you asked her shoot in case of everything. Can you do it?"_ Set asked.

"Yeah. Just give me five minutes." Ritsu agreed as he pulled his laptop out of his ruck sack.

After typing quickly some codes and searching through the data he's found, Ritsu pressed the cellphone to his ear again and said: "She's in that abandoned gas station." He said. "Somewhere at 5 km away from you." Ritsu explained as he closed his laptop with a sigh.

" _You must be fucking joking!"_ He heard Sekhmet scream with rage. " _How did she get so far so fast?!_ " Another crash was heard on the background and Ritsu's had to distance the cellphone away from his ear, saving his poor, poor eardrum from being damaged.

" _Okay, thanks. Byeeeee~!"_ Set cheered before the line was dropped. "

Sorry about that…What is it that you were saying?" Ritsu smiled naturally at his father as he waited for his answer.

"….-ed." Akio Onodera whispered sadly as he couldn't even look at Ritsu's falling expression.

"…what?" Ritsu's voice cracked up, as his cellphone somehow slipping from his hand and falling on the wooden floor.

"Ann…has been raped." His father repeated once again, more firmly this time, bringing all of Ritsu's reality crashing down on him.

* * *

 

The moment Set slipped his cell inside his pocket, the three of them hopped quickly back into the car before Sekhmet started driving towards the abandoned gas station where Asuka limped to. No one said a word. What could they say anyway? For a while, there was only silence save for the sounds the rain outside was making on the car.

Set must have been fed up with it for he turned the radio on, playing **Daddy Issues** by **The Neighborhood** , a band Sekhmet loved with a lot of passion. Misaki remained in the backseat this time, thinking of ways to prevent Sekhmet and Set from killing Asuka.

And the moment he came up with an idea, he took a deep breath and braced himself for an argument between himself and his comrades.

"You won't kill Asuka." He started slowly, as he squeezed his hands into fists.

"And what makes you think that?" Set asked, already tired of that subject.

"Just let it be, Misaki…" Sekhmet asked pleadingly, tired of the subject as well. "It's our job. It's what we do." The blue eyed woman tried to make the Knight understand.

"Unless you want Apep to torture you for disobedience, just…just let it go. There's nothing we can do at this point." She said with finality in imprinted strongly in her voice.

"No. There is something we can do." Misaki argued with ambition.

"You don't say?" Set snorted with mockery. "And what might that be, little Knight?"

"We can take her in as an apprentice." The dark green eyed male finally blurted out. And then the car was once again filled with silence. Not because either of them refused to acknowledge his proposition, but more as if none of them had any idea if Misaki was in his right mind when he said it.

"Are you even aware of what does lead to?" Set deadpanned, as Sekhmet ran a hand over her face as if trying to dust off the bewilderment off her face.

"Of course I do." Misaki bit his lower lip.

"Misaki, this isn't some kind of fairytale in which the martyr gets to live." She said sharply. "You can't just put your life on the line just so that a fucking stranger gets to live!" She soon started screaming.

Too bad she didn't have anything to kick this time.

"It's my decision to make." Misaki said as he glared at her back. Sekhmet glared back at him through the rearview mirror.

"Think of your brother. Think of your fucking boyfriend, Misaki!" She yelled as her hands ached to punch the green eyed male in the face. "Think of us! What are we supposed to feel like when we'll be sent to kill you, huh?!"

Misaki sighed alongside with Set. Misaki gazed outside the window.

"We'll work it out. Somehow, we always do."

The rain has stopped the moment the car stopped in front of the gas station. As soon as the three of them go off the car, they noticed the blood stains on the ground.

Asuka was close.

The moment they got inside they split up and searched for their victim silently, just like the ghosts of a haunted house. Misaki was the first one to lay his eyes to the collapsed form of the blond girl. He watched with a pained expression her helpless state, her trembling form and how her tears stained her pretty face.

"Please kill me before they reach me…"She whispered brokenly, as she shivered more from the cold and the blood loss. "Please make it quick." Asuka asked as the lids cover her reddened hazel eyes, preparing herself for her dismissal.

With the corner of his eyes, Misaki saw the shadows cast by both Sekhmet and Set, that waited for him to make a decision. He could make out the tense figure of the blue eyed woman and the neutral form of the red haired man.

"Wait for me outside. I'll take care of her." Misaki said loudly enough for his comrades to hear him out.

After a short pause, Asuka heard how the couple of steps faded out of the empty gas station. Looking up again at her soon-to-be killer, she smiled brokenly at him as a sob escaped her mouth.

"I'm so-so scared!" She cried as she buried her head into her raised knees, flinching away a few centimeters when Misaki touched her shoulder in a poor attempt to calm her down.

"It's okay…I'm not going to kill you." Misaki smiled gently as he wiped her tears away. "It's okay." He assured her as he covered her soaked form with his long coat, before taking her into a hug.

"R-really?" Asuka asked through her sobs. "Do you really mean it?" She asked frantically as her blond locks of hair fell into her eyes, her hands gripping at the material of his sweater.

"Yeah." Misaki said as he caressed her head as she continued to sob in his chest.

"It's okay."

After a few minutes, Asuka grew tired and finally stopped from her crying fit. Seated with her back pressed against Misaki's chest, between his legs and with his arms hugging her from behind, Asuka's tension faded from her body and she gave out a long sigh.

"Why did you kill my father?" She asked with regret.

"He stole a lot of drugs from the company I work in and he also sold some confidential information about it." Misaki explained curtly, not wanting to stress her more than she should for the state she was in.

"Does…dying hurt?" She asked again, closing her eyes as she imagined the death of her father. Her only relative.

"It's quicker than falling asleep." Misaki smiled gently as he caressed her hair. "I made sure he died painlessly." He promised.

"That's a relief…Thank you…" Her whisper drifted away into the silence, as she calmed down. Misaki continued to caress her hair and hold her gently, as if she were a porcelain doll that might break if held too tightly. His lips started trembling and tears started falling out of his eyes.

"You are such a good girl…" He whispered to her still form. "It must have been hard to grow up with a father such as yours…" Misaki guessed as he bit his lips again. "You didn't deserve such a cruel, unforgiving life style." He concluded, his hands starting to shake as he reached out for something laid on his side.

"It's okay, Asuka." He tried not to sob. "You deserved so much better than this." He placed his right arm beside her rising and heaving chest.

"You'll be okay." He said slowly before he pressed the trigger.

Half an hour later, Misaki got in the car silently, with his head bowed enough for neither of his comrades to see his swollen, red eyes. Sekhmet took that as a sign to drive away from the abandoned gas station, daring not to ask anything. She knew what he had done. Set did too. They couldn't really miss the large stain of blood on his sweater.

Sekhmet wouldn't lie. She was relieved. She knew how much it hurt Misaki too. But it was for the best. She just couldn't bear to lose him a second time. He was just like a brother to her. Just like her other comrades were. They were her only family. And any threat to their lives was her most atrocious enemy. And she just kept driving, out of the heart of Tokyo towards God knew where.

Misaki couldn't care less. He was content enough to listen to Sekhmet's music playlist, this time listening to **Help I'm Alive** by **Metric**.

What a cruel irony.

* * *

 

His heart thumped in accordance with slow, shallow breaths. Serenity was plastered across his face as he slept. At peace, his consciousness swirled in the land of dreams, oblivious to the physical world. For the first time in a long while, Akihiko's body finally ceded under the weight of exhaustion.

He didn't have nightmares. For the first time in a long while he actually dreams of sweet times spent with Misaki. His Misaki. Akihiko's dreams took him back to the night he first kissed Misaki that late, winter day.

He dreamed of the softness of his lips, of the redness of his lover's cheeks and of his teary green eyes staring right into his soul. He dreamt of his trembling shape pressed flush against his own, of his gasps and his breaking voice whenever Akihiko would touch him.

And he probably would've dreamt so much more if it had not been for the soon to be dead son of a bitch that knocked like an animal on his door, waking him up from his sweet, sweet sleep. Furious, Akihiko limped down the stairs, towards his door and the moment he opened it, the plan of squeezing the eyes of whoever woke him up fell.

"What are you two doing here? Have you seen what hour is?!" Akihiko growled with irritation as he glared with passion at his step-brother and his best friend. He didn't care Takahiro was looking slightly apologetic. No one besides Misaki was allowed to disturb his sleep.

"Okay, then I suppose I and Takahashi-san will be on our way to see Sekhmet without you." Haruhiko was already turning away before Akihiko's fingers buried into his skin and turned him around, making him face the painfully hopeful look on his brother's face.

"What for?" Haruhiko felt almost dazed by the purple haze in his brother's eyes.

"Maybe your boyfriend. Who knows?" He spoke firmly, breaking the contact between them.

"Are you serious?" He whispered and at that moment he was vulnerable, oh so vulnerable that Haruhiko wanted to lie and break all of that hope from his face to pieces.

"…Yes." The teal eyed Usami confirmed as he dodged Akihiko's violet eyes. "Hurry up. We need to be there at dawn." He said before turning around and walking away from his door.

"Ah, yes!" Takahiro finally spoke. "We'll be waiting for you downstairs in the car." The dark haired man said before he followed Haruhiko to the elevators.

It didn't take Akihiko more than five minutes to change into casual clothes and rush downstairs, towards the awaiting car parked in front of his of his home. In few seconds, they were already on their way to Sekhmet's coordinates.

"So where is it that she wants to meet us?" Takahiro asked reluctantly from the backseat.

"*Hossawa Falls." Haruhiko divulged as he drove through night's dark cloak.

"Hmmm, that's not so far." Takahiro said as he rubbed his chin in thought.

"About 30-40 minutes we'll be there." Akihiko assured the eldest Takahashi as he glanced through his window.

"We'll be there soon."

* * *

 

After what seemed like forever, Sekhmet finally parked the car somewhere near another car, which Misaki found it odd, but hadn't said anything.

"Why are we here?" Misaki asked with pain laced in his voice, as the three of them walked through the forest.

"I thought you might need some air." She said softly as she shivered a bit. A second later she gasped in surprise as a jacket covered her sight.

"Put that on." Set instructed her as she faced his broad back. Blushing, she quickly placed his jacket over her naked shoulders, before she caught up to the two males. After walking for more than five minutes, the sun started to peak out from the horizon and the moment they reached a small glade, Misaki's breath hitched in his throat when his eyes met a most familiar pair of lavender eyes.

Misaki stepped from the shadows cast by the woods, stealing Akihiko's breath and the heat from his skin away. Suddenly all of Misaki's defenses were just paper, paper that was being soaked by the rapidly falling briny drops of the woods. The lovers had just forgotten about the people surrounding them. Before the emerald eyed male could draw in the air his body needed, he melted into Akihiko's embrace. Misaki could feel his firm torso and the heart that beats within. His large hands are folded around his back, drawing him in closer.

Akihiko could feel his own body shake, crying for the missed time they might never make up for, crying to release the tension of those long and painful months they hadn't seen each other. Misaki pulled his head back and smiled through his tears before he wiped Akihiko's tears away with calloused fingers and the ash haired man found out that even this roughness brings more relief than his heart could hold. Akihiko was eating the younger with his eyes, running his hand through his dark brown hair, as if he couldn't quite believe that this time Misaki was not part of an almost forgotten dream.

And when he finally kissed him it's sweet, gentle, and it tastes of their tears. Misaki wanted to speak but all he could do was cry more.

"Don't go, not again." Akihiko begged through his kisses, his mouth painting a soft smile on Misaki's face and Misaki cries once again before folding him in his arms again.

"Usagi-san!" Misaki cried into his chest as he clenched his fingers in the material of his lover's coat. "I missed you so, so much!" He confessed as he tried to pull the older man even closer.

"I missed you too, love." Akihiko whispered lovingly into his dark hair, before planting a kiss at the top of his lover's hair.

"Ahem!" The annoyed, yet obviously warm voice of the oldest Takahashi broke the spell between them. Misaki's head snapped so quickly towards his brother that Takahiro feared for a second that he might've broken his neck.

"Nii-san!" Misaki exclaimed with joy as he fled from his lover's arms into his brother's. Takahiro sighed happily as he hugged his baby brother closer and ruffled his hair.

"You look good." The eldest brother nodded. "Well, save for your red eyes but that's totally fine." He laughed as he picked Misaki off the ground and twisted him around as he'd always do when he was still a little kid.

"Haha, Nii-san, stop!" Misaki laughed with him before he was put down. Takahiro turned to the pair of assassins that remained on the edge of the glade.

"Thank you so much…"Takahiro blinked his gathering tears away. "No words could ever prove my gratefulness to you." He said before he bowed lowly to the surprised Queen and Bishop.

"Nii-san!" Misaki exclaimed with embarrassment.

"It's okay, please…"Sekhmet was obviously not used to this kind of respect and awakardly made him signs to get up, while Set simply smirked proudly, tucking his hands into his pockets.

"You're welcome. But you know what, Misaki?" The red haired man capitated Misaki's attention.

"What?" He asked confused.

"You really should thank Sekhmet and that guy over there." Set snickered as he pointed to the proud and tall figure of Usami Haruhiko.

"He's the one who agreed to meet up in the first place."

Misaki turned to the teal eyed businessman and left his brother's arms to walk right in front of him. Smiling gratefully, the green eyed man took the businessman into his arms and hugged him tightly with gratefulness.

"Thank you." Misaki whispered as he pulled back from Usagi-ani. "Thank you so much!" Misaki smiled brighter and for the countless time that day he blinked his tears away.

After spending an hour talking about their lost time together, Takahiro and Haruhiko sighed sadly.

"I need to get back home to Manami and Mahiro." Takahiro huffed as he gave his brother a sincere smile. "This won't be the last time we'll see each other, okay?" He promised as he ruffled and kissed his brother's forehead.

"Take care of yourself." He smiled one last time before he walked away with Haruhiko.

Set and Sekhmet shared a look before they followed into the woods Takahiro and Haruhiko, leaving the two lovebirds alone.

"Misaki." Akihiko called him as he touched the bloodied material of Misaki's sweater. "Are you hurt? Is everything alright?" He asked worriedly before he noticed his lover's pained expression and tears.

"I'm not hurt…" Misaki croaked out, tears falling out of his eyes in shame. "I'm sorry." He whispered brokenly as Akihiko squeezed his cold hands around his own.

"There's nothing to forgive, Misaki." He assured his boyfriend as he tried to embrace him, being shocked the moment Misaki pushed him away.

"I-I hurt someone." Misaki cried silently as he looked the older man square into his eyes.

"I hurt a girl…an innocent girl, just…just because she had seen how her father was killed." His lips trembled and his chest constricted in pain at the confession.

"I'm a shame as a human being." Misaki wiped his tears roughly. "I…I am not the one you fell in love with." He sobbed, bowing his head with regret. "I'm so, so sorry for having you go through all of this." Misaki continued with his croaked voice.

"I'm so sorry." He cried before he stopped the moment Akihiko caught his wrists in his large hands and kissed him softly, deeply.

"I told you many times." Akihiko pulled back just enough to look him in his teary eyes. "I love you. No matter who you are, what you've done or what you'll do in the future." He reminded Misaki as he kissed his tears away. "You are mine." He whispered in his ear, making him shiver in his embrace.

"And I am yours."

"Misaki…"Akihiko whispered into his ear as he let his hands roam every inch of his lover's body. This time, Misaki didn't resist it and instead he wrapped his arms around the ash haired man's neck and pulled him into a sweet kiss.

Their lips brushed each other gently, as if trying to remember their own shape they've forgotten. Not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. In that loving moment, Misaki's senses have been seduced and Akihiko could no longer think straight.

"Misaki…" He whispers again, prolonging each letter as if to savor them. Misaki smiled, his heart fluttering at his voice as the green eyed man clasped his hands on either side of the purple eyed man's face. Never before has his name ever felt so wonderfully spoken by another human being. The next thing he knew, Akihiko had slammed his lips to Misaki's and nearly knocked all wind from his lungs. He hardly had a moment to react before he pressed his tongue to the seam of Misaki's lips and, at his grant of access, delved inside the brunette's mouth. It was a very sloppy kiss with the strong scent of old wine and cigarettes being exchanged in the intermingling of their billowing breaths.

Misaki's arms tangled tighter around his thick, strong neck. In an instant Misaki had pulled away and arched up into his broad chest, moaning in the contact of body heat against his own, before he drew back into Akihiko's lips. Misaki could nearly feel the slight burn of the cigarettes Akihiko usually smoked, as it rolled off his tongue and seeped down his throat with every push of the older man's tongue against his own.

"Misaki…I want you." He whispered in a needy matter as his fingers bit into Misaki's hips, grinding his body against his lover's. Misaki gave out a trembled sigh of pleasure, nodding urgently as he let Akihiko undo the zipper of his sweater and later work on his pants. They collapsed, never letting go of each other, at the base of an old oak tree, as they both got rid of their pants and coats.

Akihiko fingered the scars on his lover's abdomen and legs, scars that weren't there the last time he has seen him. He bowed down and kissed each and every one of them tenderly, Misaki caressing his hair and gasping softly.

"U-Usagi-san…Please!" Misaki inhaled sharply the moment Akihiko's cold fingers wrapped around Misaki's weeping shaft, before he pumped him painfully slow. Akihiko hummed with pleasure as he planted kisses on Misaki face and neck, enjoying the green eyed male's gasps and moans.

At daybreak their fingers caressed each other's skin as if afraid a heavier touch would break the heady magic. They became one, one mind with one goal and purpose, each utterly drunk with love for the other.

"I love you, Usagi-san." He heard Misaki say in the afterglow before he wrapped his arms around the petite form of Misaki.

"I love you too." He sighed happily, as he kissed his dark hair. "Always."

After a long while spent in each other's arms, Misaki pulled away and look at his lover regretfully.

"I have to go." He whispered to him and Akihiko rose up in urgency to look back at him.

"Misaki…"

"I must. There is no other way." Misaki explained as he caressed a silver lock of hair out of Akihiko's lavender eyes. "It's for our safety. If someone finds out…" Misaki looked away as he bit his lips.

"Okay." Akihiko smiled sadly. "We will see each other again. There's no rush." Akihiko pulled him back to his chest.

"I'll wait for you." He muttered causing Misaki's eyes to tear up.

"I will come back to you." Misaki pressed his head against Akihiko's heartbeat. "I promise."

And then they parted ways.

But they needed to do this. Akihiko was no safer with him than a rat in a cage, waiting for the doctor to experiment on it.

There is such sadness in leaving a place of strong love, a place where fond memories grew as fast as the clover in the grass. Misaki knew that both of them will savor each memory so strongly that it will almost live once more. Misaki knew that the strands of love will keep them together even when they are far apart.

He would only have to reach out with his mind and there he is, waiting to shower him with the love Akihiko always did. But right now it is their time to depart, to do what he was born to do, to make the changes and the sacrifices that are necessary.

He was joyful that Akihiko knew what that meant. He was relieved that he didn't think that Misaki leaving meant "I love you less", but knew that it meant "I love you more".

* * *

 

Reading the diary was much like being slapped with a wet kipper, shocking, attention grabbing, but not entirely pleasant. He wasn't feeling well. If he felt anything at all, then it was anguish. Guilt. Sorrow. Being the experienced reader he was, it took him no more than three hours to go through the diary.

All of Ritsu's life. All of his secrets. All of his regrets. All of his job as a slave as a professional killer.

Ritsu's hand-writing had a vice-like grip on his mind, its twisted reality began to distort his own, challenging the once mundane facts of his existence, bringing him into a new turbulent realm where even his sense of self was up for grabs.

He fingered the cover, tracing the pattern of the Celtic designs on the rough leathery cover. Then Masamune held it to his face and inhaled, hoping it would smell of his. Then, as the tears flowed from his unblinking eyes, he kissed the cover and put it to one side.

"Oh, Ritsu…My Ritsu." He cried silently. "What have they done to you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I bet you didn't expect this update lol! Neither did I tbh X**D By I really felt like making up for all the wait and pushed a little bit more to finish this one. Also because from now on I won't be able to update monthly due starting college.
> 
> I hope you liked this chapie! I really wanted some action and some romance so here you have it! 3 Hope it makes it up for all the dark themes that have been lurking around until now.
> 
> But, I made it up to you guys with Romantica reunion. Don't you just love me? And I really wanted to write some smut, like SERIOUS smut, but then I guessed I should leave it for later in the plot. U.U
> 
> Oh, and before I forget, there's a big reason I didn't really have Haruhiko talk when he finally met Misaki. I'll explain it further next chapter, but if you have any theories please feel free to tell them! 3
> 
> And *gasp* Ann was raped. By who? Why? What will Ritsu do? Stay tuned for the next chapter! 
> 
> I really thank everyone who watches this story and every single review that makes my day brighter and make happier! I really couldn't do it without you guys! *hugs*
> 
> Reminder that The Rook is Ritsu and that the Knight is Misaki.
> 
> INFO : *Hossawa Falls - is one of the major spot of Hinohara village. It has 4 steps 180ft. height and in the winter it will be completely frozen up. In the summer, it will be lighten up during the Water Waterfall festival. In the basin, people believed a giant serpent lives. Hossawa Waterfall is one of 100 best waterfalls in Japan.   
> There are gift shops, restaurant, and cafe around the Waterfall. One of the teahouse is about 400 years old. 
> 
> PS: THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER OF THEM ALL! I'm so damn proud of myself! 
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Fel


	11. Wheel inside the Wheel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of history lessons and a really big ass gift for you guys for having patience with me and this story! <3 Happy reading!

**Chapter 11**

**_“Storms don’t last forever.”- Anon._ **

* * *

 

**Wheel inside the Wheel**

 

What’s immortality? One would say it obviously means eternal life. The ability to live forever. While humans and every living creature die at some point, at least one species has potential biological immortality: Turritopsis dohrnii, also known as the immortal jellyfish. A species of small, biologically immortal jellyfish found in the Mediterranean Sea and in the waters of Japan. Therefore, in this current century, biologically speaking, for humans immortality is nothing but a mere fantasy.

Certain scientists, futurists, and philosophers have theorized about the immortality of the human body, with some suggesting that human immortality may be achievable in the first few decades of the 21st century. Other advocates believe that life extension is a more achievable goal in the short term, with immortality awaiting further research breakthroughs.

The absence of aging would provide humans with biological immortality, but not invulnerability to death by physical trauma, although mind uploading could solve that issue if it proved possible. Whether the process of internal endoimmortality is delivered within the upcoming years depends chiefly on research and in neuron research in the case of endoimmortality through an immortalized cell line, in the former view and perhaps is an awaited goal in the latter case.

In religious contexts however, immortality is often stated to be one of the promises of God, or other deities to human beings who show goodness or else follow divine law. What form an unending human life would take, or whether an immaterial soul exists and possesses immortality, has been a major point of focus of religion, as well as the subject of speculation, fantasy, and debate.

Many people thought that being immortal is bliss, something that is priceless, a thing that one would do next to anything for. Their thoughts confused Misaki greatly. Is it bliss to live long enough to see all your loved ones die? To wander around the world in loneliness, for every friend you ever made have run out of time to spend with you? He thought not. It was not bliss, if anything, it was a curse.

Misaki wouldn’t be even standing on a certain plane to China if it weren’t for these stupid, fantasy-like dreams of his mad boss of gaining immortality.

Long before Misaki was born, according to Chika, the “good” boss was pretty close to normal as any young man could be in college. While studying mythology and folklore, he quickly befriended his parents, who at that time were studying Languages, including very few extinct languages, such as Latin, Ancient Greek and even Ancient Norse. The trio then befriended Chika, obviously being a med student at the time and another man whose name and identity Chika has refused to ever speak of.

And then, he just happened to stumble in a witch’s old house. The same damned witch who took and replaced his scars on his body. Chika had said the old fool sold his soul to the witch in exchange of infinite knowledge. Obviously, he has never been the same. His humanity has been wiped off. What was left of it anyway.

Chika had told the pawns one night when they were younger how even before all this madness, you was a cruel man, but very capable of keeping his mask of innocence firmly on his face when he was telling a lie. She’d often say how much she regrets everything. The good doctor would sometimes slip how if she and Misaki’s parents wouldn’t have been so damn stupid and naïve, this would have never happened.

By the time Misaki’s parents got married and had Takahiro, the crazy fool convinced them to join his “little club” of research, knowing they would be useful in his adventure, chasing after the Elixir of Life.

The first thing that comes into mind is a vampire right? The vampire was nowadays the modern vision of immortality. However, how much more entertaining that idea was, there was no such thing as vampires. But, there was something known as the Holy Grail in Christian Mythology. Or the Golden apples in Norse Mythology. Hell, maybe you’ve even heard of the myth behind eating a mermaid.

Over the years, Misaki has heard and searched after them all. Only to find dead ends and to be punished for his failures alongside with Sekhmet and Set, who were always by his side in these types of missions.

Who else would go after the Holy Grail, presumably hidden somewhere deep into the Jerusalem Sewers? Who else would blindly wander the lands of Norway, Greek and Romania in search of the Golden Apples? Who else would have dived every day for a fucking year in the Sea of Japan, in search of a fucking mermaid?!

He would know for he has done it all.

So here he was, in a plane to China, on his last expedition on this bloody Elixir of Life trip, after the so called “Chinese Peaches of Immortality”.

After reading some Chinese mythological stories, one would learn that The Peaches of Immortality play a very large role in the Chinese epic Journey to the West. Sun Wukong, the Monkey King, was chosen as the Protector of the Peaches and ended up consuming one of them, which bestowed upon him 1,000 years of life.

He escaped at first, but was later captured. Of course, since he had also eaten the Pills of Immortality, Sun Wukong was unable to be executed. He eventually went to war against Heaven and the gods had to turn to the Buddha, who managed to trick Sun Wukong and trap him for five centuries, after which he went on the quest outlined in Journey to the West.

The Jade Emperor and his wife, Xi Wangmu, were said to be the planters of the peach tree, which only gave ripened fruit every 3,000 years. They gladly gave it to the other gods in order to keep them living forever.

Pretty easy right? Wrong. There was so much more to those peaches than it appeared to be.

If one were to follow the lead of the novel, one would learn that at some point in the novel, Sun Wukong encounters a certain 1,000 foot tall tree was stationed behind a monastery run by a Taoist master and his disciples, in which the master had been gone for a long time.

The tree bore 30 of the legendary Man-fruit, fruits that looked just like a new born, complete with sense organs, once every 10,000 years. The man-fruits would grant 360 years of life to one who merely smelled them and 47,000 years of life to one who consumed them.

There were reports over time of child-like deformities, small enough to fit in a woman’s palm that did not smell of anything like rotting flesh. If it smelled of anything, it would be the disgustingly sweet fragrance of rotten fruits. Or so it was said.

What can you conclude from this? While in the past miscarriages were happening at a higher rate than nowadays, people just wouldn’t leave their dead babes out in the open for anyone to see. And even if some idiots did, dead babes smelt nothing like rotten fruits. It was common sense.

Misaki sighs for the countless time before he glances on the small window. From the window of the plane the wing engine is semi illuminated, the lower half shining around the rim, the upper half several shades darker. As the plane dips the line between shadow and light moves, and all the while Misaki listens to the hum of the rotors. It might be strange, but the soft hum calmed his nerves a bit.

The airplane had the look of a billionaire's private jet. There were no rows of seats, only the most elegant leather couches and coffee tables with ornate cabriole legs. There were plush curtains at the windows and a plasma screen as large as a movie theatre.

While Sekhmet was watching the latest Supernatural episode, Seth was snoring softly, as he occupied most of the single sofa’s space, occasionally twitching in his deep sleep, jabbing Misaki’s thigh with his heel, gaining without fail an unpleased grunt from the forest eyed man.

Misaki watched as silver planes crossed evening skies, their white tails left to fade with the last of dusk, before oozing off into dreamless sleep, barely registering the soft material he was at one point covered with and the warm hand that ruffled his hair.

* * *

 

_For a long time I’ve been torn between my heart’s desires and my mind’s rationality. I’d be a liar if I said I’m not being tormented by that anymore. It’d be a huge lie. But sometimes… you get tired. You get tired of always having to choose one out of these two. And that’s when one can take the most selfish or the most radical of choices ever._

_Trust me, I know. I’ve some idiotic choices myself. But strangely, I don’t regret them at all. Probably because I’ve changed so much in these 10 years. No one is really aware of that though, except of my family and some close friends and… enemies. But believe it or not, I learned to actually conceal my true feelings when necessary. I chose to reason down all of my passions. All of my beliefs._

_Everything._

_Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to survive this cruel world all these years. No one can put me on my knees any longer. No one can take advantage of feelings for I have none. No one can touch my heart. Except one._

_In my early teenage years I would’ve stayed true to my heart. But that thing changed the moment my heart was smashed into pieces by, ironically, the one I loved the most at that time._

_That’s when I made a vow. I vowed that I will never fall in love again. I know I wouldn’t be able to survive another heartbreak._

_But it’s done now. I’m no longer tied by anything and I can finally choose to live the life I’ve always craved after. A normal life. No room for complications. No room for tragedy. Just an uneventful and ordinary life._

_This is my final entry, the final chapter of this so called life. The end of The Rook. Now I’m reborn._

_I’m finally free to do what I want._

_O.A_

The diary sat heavy in the palm of his hand. It wasn't a large or particularly thick, but inside laid the answers he had sought all his life.

He hasn’t slept. Hasn’t eaten in days. He had obsessively read his lover’s diary. Again. And again. And again… Until he just stopped. Stopped and finally let his own thoughts invade his abused mind from Ritsu’s memories.

They say in natural foods "God never packs the poison without the antidote", with our fructose comes fiber. Yet in writing it often feels like one can't pack the social antidotes without a dose of poison, otherwise the message is distrusted or rejected as dull. The only way to truly teach is with great stories and the social appetite for horror and violence creeps ever higher, addicts always craving a higher "hit." To bring the right dose of poison in the right way, whilst leaving a lasting impression that brings the social discourse forwards is the skill of a great artist, a great writer.

And what a great writer and narrator Ritsu Onodera was. Maybe on the same level or even better than Akihiko Usami himself!

Masamune chuckled. He’d bet his ass on that thought. He hoped that soon he’d just be able to tell Ritsu that himself.

He was tired as fuck. But somehow, through the endless torrent of feelings Ritsu has inspired through his writing in him, relief conquered them all. How? Because he finally understood. He’s finally got all the answers. He knows what he was standing against to. Who were his allies. Who were his enemies.

But right now he couldn’t care less about all that. What filled him with joy and sadness all together was that he finally got to know the love of his life the way he dreamt for 10 years. All of his hopes, dreams, shame, deeds, fears, past. Everything.

Masamune chuckled quietly again.

“You little idiot…” He smiled sadly at the diary, as he remembered Ritsu’s letter. Of how his lover even thought that his history might make Masamune hate him, fear him…abandon him. What an idiot. If anything, it just made his love even stronger. With that thought, Masamune slipped his hand into his pocket and got his cellphone.

“I believe it’s time to get serious.” He smirked as he pressed his cell closer to his ear waiting for the other end to answer.

* * *

 

It’s been almost 3 months.

Even months after the rape she would smell semen and sweat with no source of either. The scent would be as strong even though it was the end of February. Her heart rate would accelerate and she would attempt to control her breathing rate.

Always she would check her nails for dirt. After the attack they had been ripped, broken and bleeding from clawing at the mud to escape. For that reason she would never wear nail polish.

Seeing was believing.

Otherwise she would be dragged back into a full blown flashback, checking herself for the blood that had run down her legs from the rips, seeing the face of her attackers on every man that walked by in the street. She had been hospitalized many times, lost in psychosis, fighting her torturers off again and again.

But clean nails could stop the cycle. If her mind ever manufactured the dirt like it did for the smell she would be lost in that nightmare world once more; reliving, refighting, hurting, terrified.

She hears the soft creak of her bedroom door opening and her heart rate picks up. The fawn haired woman bites her lower lip in fear as she forces her whimpers silent, when she strains her ears for any sounds. Steps in particular. But there is nothing. She hears nothing. But she can feel eyes staring at her from the dark of her bedroom. She feels the burn of the gaze over her shape.

Disgusting. Pathetic. Worthless. Dirt-

“ _Stop._ ” Her conscience murmurs in the back of her mind softly but firmly. “ _Don’t think like that, it won’t help you._ ” Ann wills herself to believe.

Her body is tense when she feels a weight other than her own on her bed. She feels a hand itching closer to her head, as she lies in her bed with her blankets pulled over her ears. She flinches without wanting to. The hand stops. And soon the weight lifts up of her bed too.

Both relief and shame wash over her, as she hears how the lights are switched on and the soft squeak of the couch beside her bed. She hears the flipping of pages and then a voice. A voice soft and kind and loving and she suddenly is at ease. Her body relaxes as she listens to the man near her bed read her a story.

 _The Tempest_ , by William Shakespeare she concludes after she listens to the first two lines of the famous play.

Her favorite.

And so she listens and her mind suddenly just imagines the remote island, where the sorcerer Prospero, rightful Duke of Milan, plots to restore his daughter Miranda to her rightful place using illusion and skillful manipulation. He conjures up a storm, the eponymous tempest, to cause his usurping brother Antonio and the complicit King Alonso of Naples to believe they are shipwrecked and marooned on the island. There, his machinations bring about the revelation of Antonio's lowly nature, the redemption of the King, and the marriage of Miranda to Alonso's son, Ferdinand.

And so, before she even realizes, she drifts into a dreamless and silent sleep.

The man beside the quietly sleeping woman suddenly stops from his reading. His eyes soften and with a quick movement he closes the heavy book and rests it gently in Ann’s small library.

Ritsu was restless. He was a flood of feelings. Feelings out of his control. Rage and the constant itch to kill stronger than them all. He felt powerless whenever his peridot green eyes met her brown eyes, red and puffy from all her tears. He felt pained whenever she flinched away from his touch and frustrated when he failed to make her open up to him.

However, much later that same, cursed month, Ann steadied herself between his arms and wept her heart out in the most intimate and soundless manner. And he understood.

He understands, as he kisses the top of her head before he takes a minute to watch her tired, sleeping face, just like any guardian angel would do. As he watched over her, rage came right back at him. He was getting close. So close to the bastards that dared touch Ann, Ritsu could almost smell them. He was close. And when he’d find them… May God show them mercy, for he will not. There will be hell to pay for touching whatever he loved.

For no one touches his family and lives.

_No one._

The sharp buzz of Ann’s cellphone slaps Ritsu out of his murderous thoughts, as he sees Ann twitch and moan in her sleep with the corner of his eye, before he lounges forward and quickly silents the buzzing cellphone.

He slips quietly out of her room, careful not to awake his childhood friend, before he looks curiously at the missed called. A number that was saved in Ann’s agenda as “Dumb Idiot”. Ritsu couldn’t help but smile, amused how Ann continued to save everybody in her agenda, not by their names but by what she saw them as.

“ _Oh well, if it’s important they will call again_.” Ritsu thinks to himself as he moves to Ann’s kitchen to make himself some coffee, before the cellphone’s buzz takes him by surprise again. Ritsu chooses to ignore the caller once again as he hums quietly to himself, preparing the coffee ever so slowly in fear not to actually break something.

And just as he proudly pours the coffee into the cup the cellphone buzzes strongly inside of his jeans pocket, causing him to spill the coffee all over his hands. Ritsu annoyingly watches as his hands turn an angry shade of red and proceeds to put honey over his burns.

“I swear to God, if this fucker calls again I will-“Ritsu rants off furiously before he is cut off by guess what? The buzz of Ann’s cellphone.

Resisting the urge to literally throw the cellphone out the window, out of consideration for Ann, he finally answers the call.

“Hello?” He greets with poorly concealed rage. He hears the caller’s breath hitch in their throat before they exhale shakingly.

“ _Ritsu?_ ” He hears through the phone and the chestnut haired man goes still, all rage forgotten. He unconsciously grips Ann’s cell closer to his ear and salty water starts to redden his light green eyes.

“ _Ritsu._ ” The caller speaks again, this time with confidence and so much love. So much love Ritsu feels his heart slaps painfully against his ribcage. He lets out a small sob as he covers his mouth with his free hand, letting tears drop freely from his eyes.

“ _Baby._ ” The strong, yet smooth voice calls out from the other side of the line.

“ _Baby don’t cry. You know how much I hate seeing you…hearing you cry, baby._ ” The caller confesses and at this point Ritsu is a sobbing mess.

“Takano-san!” Ritsu cries into the call and soon Masamune finds himself crying too.

“ _I missed you, baby._ ”

* * *

 

A triad is one of many branches of Chinese transnational organized crime syndicates based in China, Hong Kong, Macau, Taiwan and also in countries with significant Chinese populations, such as the United States, Canada, Vietnam, Korea, Japan and even countries like the United Kingdom or France.

Sekhmet once heard a tourist in France whine about how Chinese people were everywhere. She remembered how offended Ritsu had been at the time at the man’s stupidity. Why the hell did all non-Asian people believe that if one’s from Asia they must be from either India or China, he yelled that time.

The starting point for understanding Chinese triads is to make a clear distinction between Hong Kong triad and mainland Chinese criminal organizations. In ancient China, Triad is one of three major secret societies in mainland China. It also created branches in Macau, Hong Kong, Taiwan and Chinese communities overseas.

After the establishment of the People's Republic of China, all secret societies were completely destroyed in mainland China through a series of campaigns organized by Chairman Mao. Although post-Mao China has witnessed the resurgence of organized crime groups, they are not triad societies.

The proper term for these criminal organizations is "mainland Chinese criminal organizations", which consist of two major types of organization: dark forces (loosely organized groups) and black societies (more mature criminal organizations).

Two features that distinguish a black society from a dark force are the ability of achieving illegal control over local markets, and the obtainment of police protection.

In short, Hong Kong triad refers to traditional criminal organizations operating in or originating from Hong Kong, Macau, Taiwan and Southeast Asian countries, while organized crime groups in mainland China are better called "mainland Chinese criminal groups".

When the Chinese Communist Party came to power in 1949 in mainland China, law enforcement became stricter and tough governmental crackdown on criminal organizations forced the triads to migrate to Hong Kong, then a British colony. It was estimated that in the 1950s, there were about 300,000 triad members in Hong Kong.

Academics at the University of Hong Kong say that most triad societies were established between 1914 and 1939, and that there were once more than 300 in the territory. Since then the number of such groups has consolidated to around 50, of which 14 are still regularly in the eye of police.

There were nine main triads operating in Hong Kong and they had divided the land according to their ethnic groups and geographical locations, with each triad in charge of a region.

Each of them had their own headquarters, sub-societies and public fronts. However, after the 1956 riots, the Hong Kong government introduced stricter law enforcement and the triads became less active.

Nowadays the strongest of the still existing Triads is Sleeping Dogs*, that has over 60,000 members world-wide. It was considered to be the cruelest Triad of them all. Through its criminal activities were racketeering, counterfeiting, extortion, drug trafficking, human trafficking, money laundering, murder, illegal gambling and prostitution. But the most important of them all selling information.

For knowledge was power, no matter what anyone else said. Knowledge could help take someone down just as easy one could use it to become a powerful politician. For the right price of course.

You see, the Doll Master had a very serious connection to this Triad as he is one of its most trusted clients and powerful ally in Japan. Where else could he have heard the rumors about people finding child-like fruits while hiking and climbing the Pamir Mountains?

According to old texts, to the northwest of the Kunlun Mountains laid an ancient Chinese mythological mountain named Buzhou, in a location today referred to as the Pamir Mountains. It is the mountain said to have supported the heavens, against which the Chinese water god Gong Gong smashed his head in a fit of anger, requiring the goddess Nüwa to repair the sky.

Sekhmet sighed again, as she faced the numerous tents in The Pamir Pass. The mountain lay in the distance like a ridiculous white camel hump or perhaps the nose of a slumbering giant turned to snow covered rock.

The raven haired woman held out her hands to make a “picture frame.” It fitted right in, a perfect photograph. From here it even looked two dimensional. She wondered if the air was thin at the top, if it was the kind of peak you had to take an oxygen tank to like some crazy backwards diver. She then inspected her spiked shoes and the pick-axe, a woolen hat and sporty lycra clothes under a fur-trimmed Gortex jacket in dusky pink.

“You ready?” A voice behind her asked, as she turns to see Seth grinning, chuckling as she sees Misaki sneeze ungracefully.

“This is going to be so much fun!” She hummed happily as she stabbed the pick-axe into the ice covered ground.

* * *

 

The moment the chestnut haired man closed the hotel room’s door, he was pushed against the wall, a pair of full, soft lips pressed urgently to his own. Without hesitation, Ritsu moved his lips against Masamune’s as he wrapped his arms around the taller man’s neck, pulling him flush to his own body.

“I missed you.” Ritsu says urgently, before the raven haired kisses him again passionately.

In the room that is twilight and shadow, Masamune’s kisses leave him breathless. His arms wrap around Ritsu’s back and in one gentle spin, the demon editor in chief guides his lover to the queen sized bed.

Ritsu feels his hand in his hair, how he loves the softness, watching it tumble as he releases it. Then Masamune’s hand moves down his cheekbones to his lips.

“God, you’re really here aren’t you?” The raven haired man almost breaks into tears as he strokes his younger lover’s face. Ritsu blushes and blooms like cheery blossoms in spring when he smiles with so much happiness and love that Masamune can’t help but feel that he’s falling over again for him.

That's when the kissing starts again and they start to move like partners in a dance that is written in their DNA. Their bodies fit together as if they were made just for this, to fall into one another, to feel this natural rhythm.

With a laugh he lifts Ritsu right off his feet, and the green eyed man can’t help but laugh too, as he is being carried towards the bed, letting him fall with a soft bounce on the mattress just as Ritsu pulls the love of his life with him.

They lock eyes for just a moment, just enough for them to feel safe with one another. Then Masamune's all business, undoing the younger’s jeans, pulling them off, kissing from his toes upward, slowly, his hands on the brunette’s legs, always just a little higher than his feverish kisses.

Right then, Ritsu feels his back arch in anticipation, knowing where his fingers will soon reach. His head rocks back against the pillow as the he does, the first moan escaping his lips.

In their hotel room their fingers caressed each other's skin as if afraid a heavier touch would break the heady magic. They became one, one mind with one goal and purpose, each utterly drunk with love for the other.

When the morning sun paints their room with its soft and warm glow, Ritsu finds himself in the arms of the man he’s loved for 15 years*, give or take. He feels himself relax even further than what he thought possible, just from Masamune’s strong and steady heartbeat right under the shell of his ear. Ritsu swore that if he could, he’d purr the second his lover’s left hand ran through his locks and massaged his scalp.

“I can’t believe I’m here.” Ritsu confessed quietly, as he snuggled closer to Masamune.

“Neither can I.” The raven haired editor said truthfully.

“So you’re really here.” The green eyed man said smiling softly as balanced his body on his right elbow so he could face the honey eyed sex bomb.

Masamune smiles, showing off his perfect, pearly white teeth as he steadies himself on both elbows.

“Yep.” He responds playfully.

“So I’m really not dreaming.” Ritsu states, caressing Masamune’s cheek.

“Nope.” He grins from ear to ear before he yells rather quietly, in a poor imitation of what one would call a war shout, before he tackled his lover, gaining a laugh from his baby.

Ritsu closes his arms around him and pulls him close to him as if in fear that he might disappear into thin air.

“I love you so damn much it hurts the shit out of me.” Ritsu complains playfully.

“Good. That makes us even then.” Masamune chuckles, planting a soft kiss on Ritsu’s lips earning another laugh from him.

“Okay but seriously, I really do love you, Takano-san.” He says quietly, his eyes reflecting all of his affections to the older man.

“As do I.” He says before kissing his lover’s bruised lips, smiling as he felt Ritsu follow him immediately.

When he pulls back, Ritsu whines and pulls him closer in an attempt to catch his lips again but Masamune’s palm against his cheek stops him.

“Ritsu, I've loved you for 10 years and still you are the only flame I will ever need. Your fingers are like divine fire for my soul, your voice intoxicating in all the finest of ways. I love you. I always will.” He confessed as his pollex massaged his lover’s left eye.

“Never doubt my love for you ever again.” He smirks confidently at him, looking at him him dead in the eye, as he tucks with his fingers on a few locks of Ritsu’s hair.

“Understand, noob editor?” His smirk get even larger as he watches Ritsu’s mouth open and close, as his expression betrays his indignation.

That was his sassy Ritsu alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm, hello?! *dodges a rotten tomato* Ehm, so it has been a…year since I’ve last updated and for that I am really sorry, but hey, med school isn’t getting any easier nowadays so please cut me some slack lol. XD  
> For those who have asked me, I have no intention of ever leaving this fic unfinished for it is my baby and like the good mommy I am I will work on this baby here no matter how many years it takes for it to be complete. You have my word on this one, my darlings. <3
> 
> So yea, this is the new chapie! I’m really sorry if the amount of information and narration in this one is overwhelming. I really did do my best to figure it out how to write it and how to make it as easy to understand as possible.  
> Please do read everything in the narration! I might not look like it, but the part with the Peaches of Immortality and the Triads will play a HUGE role in future chapters.
> 
> So I won’t promise anything, but I will try to figure out and write chapter 12 until the mid of October? If not posted until the end of October you can rest assured I will most probably update around Christmas, if not Easter, and if not even then, then probably next year in September! Though I really don’t want to make this a habit X*D
> 
> INFO:  
> x The Sleeping Dogs – It’s not an actual Triad. It’s just one I made up, because I can :> The only 4 Triads that exist to this day are : : Wo Hop To, Wo Shing Wo, Sun Yee On, 14K (Sap Sie Kie) and Luen. I came with the name of “The Sleeping Dogs” from the video game named, you guessed it, Sleeping Dogs, wet in contemporary Hong Kong, the single-player story follows Wei Shen, an undercover Hong Kong-American police officer on assignment to infiltrate the Sun On Yee Triad organization.
> 
> x 15 years since Ritsu has loved Masamune. Well if you remember, Ritsu fell in love with Masamune when he was like, in middle school. Meaning he had like between 11-13. Okay, so not really 15 years, but I did say “give or take” no? XD
> 
> Until next time,  
> Fel


End file.
